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Thread: Moving on with the divorce

  1. Regular Member
    Navy_Em's Avatar
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    Nov 2010

    Smile Moving on with the divorce

    So it's been about a month since I've served DH the divorce papers and it's been an emotional roller coaster to this point but I've pretty much evened out now. I've been seeing our old couples counselor on my own and crying when I need to, but I feel pretty good now. DH has been staying here at the house only when we have his daughter and staying at his barracks room in Norfolk when he's not here. He's run the gamut of emotions but I think has become quite reasonable. He had signed off all rights to the house and we were able to have a frank discussion on Friday night. He said basically that every day he wonders if I'm going to call him and tell him I'm done and that I officially signed off on the divorce papers and he has come to the conclusion that while he would like to be married, no matter what he sees us being in our lives somehow and if we don't work out as a couple he would like to be treated like "you treat your gay friends". FYI he had cheated on me with a guy but claims he's not into men ( I think he is lying to himself). He said that he could never take his daughter out of my life and feels she needs me. He would like to continue to stay at my house with her the weekends he has her once he is discharged and mentioned possibly renting the 3rd bedroom if I wanted to do that. I told him that I would love to hang out with the two of them on the weekends, but I feel it would be better for both of us during the week to have our space as adults when she is not here and could see the situation going bitter if we're around each other too much.

    I know this set up sounds odd, because it is, but I honestly think it will work for now. Having this conversation has given me closure and reduced my stress level 10 fold. I had told him before that this would all be a lot easier if I could just hate him, but I just can't find it in me to. We had been friends since we were 14 ( we're 26 now). My stepdaughter is 8 and a half, and I've been in her life for the last 8 years. I know things will evolve over time as both of us start to date again, but right now this just seems right. I believe he is someone that made a good friend, but not a good husband. I know what he is capable of, and knowing all this has killed the romantic feelings I have towards him. And this certainly makes the ongoing relationship I have with his family easier since instead of fighting we decided to make the best of it. I am and always have been closer to my mother-in-law than my mom and have been since before we ever got married or started dating again. She's actually been scoping out available guys she thinks I would like, lol. For the first time in awhile I am hopeful again for my future
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Clumsy's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    I think it is great you are handling everything very maturely for the sake of your kids. Not a lot of people can do that, but it makes things way better for your kids.
    I also think him staying at the apartment isn't fair to your process of moving on from the situation, imo.
  3. Senior Member
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    Jun 2012
    I am glad to hear things have started to move forward to you. I am sorry you had to go through all of this, but I am glad to see that you are growing from it.
  4. Anchored2aSailor's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
    Connecticut Bitches!
    I am glad to see that you are at peace with everything and that you seem to be on a healthy path of letting yourself move on.
  5. I just can't even...
    Hottie.'s Avatar
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    It sounds like you are at peace with the flow of things. I'm glad to hear that.
  6. Senior Member
    CountryMGF's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
    Austin, TX
    My exDH and I are better friends now then we were when we were married. The kids are so much happier and it really gave me peace when it was over and done with. Its not stressful, he knows about DB and I know about who he is seeing. Overall, I think that when people work out the situation on their own, it works out for the best and sounds like you are in the right direction in life.
    So close your eyes and sleep to dream. I'm by your side. No words to speak. We'll set our course and make it through. No matter how far, my heart remains with you.
    ~ Loving Army Girlfriend
  7. Senior Member
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    Oct 2009
    I was thinking about you a few days ago, and wondering how things were going. I'm glad to hear you are at peace with how things are going, and that you are making the right decision for you.

  8. Senior Member
    Jen2407's Avatar
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    May 2012
    IT sounds like you are happy and that is great!!
    proudarmygrlfrnd and PinkyLee are my WIFEYS!
  9. Account Closed
    Jessym's Avatar
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    Me: NorCal Him: Oklahoma
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    I'm glad to hear things are starting to work out.

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