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Thread: The girl who cried divorce

  1. Lime breakfast foot
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    #1

    The girl who cried divorce

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    [I'm keeping this in life after love because...we might still be over? it's a big mess at the moment]



    So, on Monday Chris changed his mind about wanting a divorce.
    We had a really good conversation yesterday about it and I thought we were on the same page, trying to work things out. But I get the feeling that he is only doing this because he can't file right at the moment and he wants to get some during R&R And I mean..I shouldn't spend the rest of my life doubting everything he says and feeling insecure, but I just don't feel that I can trust him. He broke my heart. Straight up. I love him very, very much. I want to be with him, but...I don't want to subject myself to this torture for the rest of my life.

    I guess I'll just wait and see where I am when R&R rolls around. See if I want to be with him then or not and reevaluate from there. I'm just so down about this whole thing. I want to be happy. I want things to be good and normal, but like...I don't see that happening, the way things stand now. I don't know if he realizes that he has to be good to me and regain my trust in order for me to work things out with him.

    Blah. First things first, I talk to the lawyer tomorrow. Counselor on Friday. Maybe doing all of that will help me figure out where I stand with Chris somehow.

    I just wish the past week had never happened. I love him. I don't get why he had to do this too us. I'm worried that this time he broke our marriage past the point of repair. I don't want it to be like that though. I want us to go back and be together. I don't know.

    I'm a hot mess.


  2. Senior Member
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    #2
  3. scotlandgrl53
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    #3
    No advice just Hugs. I hope you guys get things straightened out and you become more secure in where you guys are standing.
  4. Señor Member
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    #4


    Personally, I would not have sex with him during R&R if you are afraid that is the only thing keeping him from wanting a divorce right now. If he is serious about wanting it to work he will with or without sex being on the table.

    be cool.
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Oh, Baby♥ View Post


    Personally, I would not have sex with him during R&R if you are afraid that is the only thing keeping him from wanting a divorce right now. If he is serious about wanting it to work he will with or without sex being on the table.
    100%

    I'm sorry you are going through this.

    I Eelizah
  6. Lime breakfast foot
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Oh, Baby♥ View Post


    Personally, I would not have sex with him during R&R if you are afraid that is the only thing keeping him from wanting a divorce right now. If he is serious about wanting it to work he will with or without sex being on the table.
    I feel like...one of our areas in our marriage he was unsatisfied with before was lack of sex. We just like...don't do it often. Or ever for that matter and I know it bugged him. I don't know if refusing to have sex with him when he's home for two weeks would be even more damaging or something.

    At the same time...if I'm still angry at him I don't want to have sex because I wouldn't enjoy it. I guess I'll have to see what happens between now and then before I decide on that particular topic either way.


  7. Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Oh, Baby♥ View Post


    Personally, I would not have sex with him during R&R if you are afraid that is the only thing keeping him from wanting a divorce right now. If he is serious about wanting it to work he will with or without sex being on the table.
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Oh, Baby♥ View Post


    Personally, I would not have sex with him during R&R if you are afraid that is the only thing keeping him from wanting a divorce right now. If he is serious about wanting it to work he will with or without sex being on the table.


    And I would tell him about this decision NOW.
  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    I'm sorry that you're hurting, I am angry that he is going back and forth. It makes me so mad for you because its not fair to play with your emotions like that. He can't threaten divorce. When I got married that was my mom's only advice, 'don't ever use divorce as a tool in a fight, if you say it, mean it and do it'.

    I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hate to see you going through this.


    ETA: and I agree on not having sex. It cannot be any more damaging than what he's already done. If anything, I think it would hurt you more.


  10. Dancing Backwards in High Heels
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by bajingo View Post
    I feel like...one of our areas in our marriage he was unsatisfied with before was lack of sex. We just like...don't do it often. Or ever for that matter and I know it bugged him. I don't know if refusing to have sex with him when he's home for two weeks would be even more damaging or something.

    At the same time...if I'm still angry at him I don't want to have sex because I wouldn't enjoy it. I guess I'll have to see what happens between now and then before I decide on that particular topic either way.


    I have to agree with pps, don't have sex. Especially if you feel obligated. He may just be thinking he doesn't want to be "alone" for R&R. I just don't want to see your emotions played with anymore. It isn't fair to you for him to keep playing with your heart. You deserve to be treated so much better!!!
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