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Thread: Confused.. and in need of advice

  1. Fresh Newbie
    flyawaygirl's Avatar
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    Sep 2012

    Confused Confused.. and in need of advice

    I started dating my marine when he got back from deployment to Afghanistan. We were friends for years and when he came back we started seeing eachother. We spent alot of time together and things were going great.He talked about marriage and starting a life together..
    But, after some time he began to grow distant. He stopped wanting to talk on the phone and sent only one word messages. He later told me that he may have to be deployed again on a ship and woulnt be able to have any contact. He didnt think it was fair to me to be in a relationship where we couldnt communicate. He was waiting on orders to see when he would be going and that it could be a year before he left.
    We talked a little after that but then stopped communicating. I just dont understand why he would completely withdraw. I see people all the time that make relationships work when they are deployed, i know they are not easy. I told him that I would wait for him because I cared and he still said that it wasnt fair to me. It was like a light switch that went off in his head. He went from wanting a future together and willing to work the long distance out,to now wanting to end things.. cant understand why his way of thinking would suddenly change. Why does deployment make some men completely withdraw and numb to feelings?
    Last edited by flyawaygirl; 09-22-2012 at 11:14 PM.
  2. Regular Member
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    There are a few issues here:

    If there is a year leading up to deployment then it's not an excuse. A month perhaps, but not a year.

    Secondly, it sounds a lot like excuses. Unfortunately that does happen sometimes and I've certainly experienced it first hand. I am really sorry you're having to go through this
  3. Senior Member
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    If he's going to be on a ship, he'll have access to communication.

    He's telling you that he doesn't want to be with you. That may be related to his deployment, or it may just be life. Either way, if I man cares so little for you that he's willing to give you up, that tells you a lot. When a man tells you he doesn't want to be with you, I think you should always listen.

    Of course it hurts and disappoints and frustrates. But it's better to feel those things now and then get on with the healing, so that you can find a man who cares so much for you that he'd never dream of walking away.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  4. Fresh Newbie
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    Thank you for your responses, he had told me that he was leaving to go on a MEU and could have little to no contact at times.. its obvious to me now that he doesnt want a relationship. Just didnt understand him suddenly changing as soon as he found out he was going to be leaving.. I cant help but to feel upset, but your right its the first step to getting on with my life. Its sad when it cant be with the one that you thought it would be with.

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