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Thread: Trying to move forward

  1. Regular Member
    Navy_Em's Avatar
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    #1

    Trying to move forward

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    I'm trying to get my life in order. I have made multiple calls to lawyers and did a brief free consult on the phone and have 2 appointments at 2 different offices scheduled for tomorrow and Friday. I've kept contact with DH brief since Sunday night when I confronted him on his cheating. I ignored his calls on Monday and talked for about 10 minutes ( it was more dead air than talking) last night. He texts me how he is sorry and how he will never do it again and my response was that that is what he told me the last 2 times and how I'll try to remember just how much he loves me when I go in for my full panel STD testing today.

    So far the only people IRL that know are my brother who made me feel like crap Sunday, my coworkers who have been an enormous source of strength and DH's mom who has also been very supportive. I love her even more for how much advice and support she is giving me. She said I don't deserve this, she's angry with DH for me and will not allow him to stay at her house after I ask him to leave because she will not support someone who tears up their marriage like he did, and that basically this will never change. DH is just like his dad who is a serial cheater and has been married to DH's mom for 25 years, so she has quite a bit of experience to speak from.

    I switch between being completely calm about all of this and breaking down crying and thinking about how to make this work. I know logically this will never work. I told DH when we got back together that if he ever cheated again we were done for good so he knew exactly what was on the line when he pulled this. I have just pushed my stepdaughter out of my head because I can't bear to think of losing her. I don't know how I'm going to feel after this weekend when I spend it with her. I'm holding on to the hope that DH and I will be able to remain amicable and this won't have to be the end, but hopefully a new beginning for all our relationships.
  2. the siren that sings you home
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    #2
    I am glad that you are making appointments and taking care of yourself. Keep your chin up, you can handle this.


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  3. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
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    #3
    This is such a difficult thing you're going through. I'm so sorry. But you really are doing the right thing. I can tell you're strong and sticking to what you've said. Maybe, perhaps MAYBE, because of that, he'll change.
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    #4
    I'm really proud of you for how you're handling this Lots of , , and coming.
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    #5


    I'm a little late, but I just read back to your other post. I am so, so, so sorry you are having to go through this. Your brother? If he's going to make you feel like crap in a time of serious need, don't confide in him further. On the other hand, I am so thankful that his mother and your coworker are so understanding. You really need that right now.

    I'm also really glad that you're getting a full panel STD check done. I hope it comes back negative.

    Such an awful thing to have to go through. So many I commend you for staying so calm, and it's more than okay to break down.

  6. Dancing Backwards in High Heels
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    #6
    I commend you for all you have done. I hope you find a great lawyer and it is super okay to break down once in a while.
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    #7
    I cannot imagine how hard this is for you. It sounds like you are 100% doing the right thing no matter how emotionally heartbreaking it is. I am so glad to hear that your co-workers and DH's mother are being so supportive. What is your brother's issue? If anything he could be supporting his sister!!! Praying your STD panel comes back clear so its one less thing for you to worry about! You can do this!
  8. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but I know you will get through it!

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  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am glad that you are going through with this and taking care of yourself.

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    #10
    My family has a history of not really being supportive. The last time he left me when we were in college my mom made me feel like crap for 2 months right after the break up saying things like "If you had smiled more he might have stayed. If you had laughed at his jokes more he might have stayed. Blah blah blah." I'll admit my brother was blindsided by this when I told him, but he was just rude asking all kinds of intrusive questions about my marriage and kept saying "But other than that he was good to you?" Pretty much making me feel like crap for wanting to file for divorce. I kept telling him he is not being good to me if he is cheating on me but my brother is just dense. Since then I've avoided everyone in my family.
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