Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: starting over-update on me

  1. Keep on dreaming little penguin
    dream's Avatar
    dream is offline
    Keep on dreaming little penguin
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Fredricksburg, VA
    Posts
    2,162
    #1

    starting over-update on me

    Advertisements
    This whole idea of starting everything over is scarey and nerve wrecking. I made the move to Virginia to my parents house.

    I left DH on the 21st, I expected him to be all he did was sit there and watch a comedy special. He knew I was leaving, but didn't react at all. I expected something, heck anything would of been better than him watching tv and laughing. At least than I would of felt like he cared.

    His actions never have consequences and usually I just shut up and take it. Then Nothing. Sadly that week of silence was really nice. Stressful in the oh my i'm moving way, but different strehttp://www.militarysos.com/forum/images/styles/sos/editor/menupop.gifss than him being drunk and worrying what the night would hold. I ended the week in just being disappointed in his childish behavior. He emptied our joint bank account, took furniture out of our house, cancelled my debit card. Now he won't stop calling or texting. I think I counted 30 calls. 12 of those to my cellphone when it was on. If he doesn't reach me he calls my parents house or my dads cell. He was served with divorce papers and a restraining order to go with the wo military protection orders

    I have no idea how you even start over after 8 years with someone. How do you meet people?

    For now though I'd settle for a good meal don't remember when I had one. hmm start a cheesy movie list line:
    A new guy must cook
    BraveLilToaster is the most awesome wifey ever!
  2. Senior Member
    Stardust's Avatar
    Stardust is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,307
    #2
    I don't know if you meant meet people to date or friends, but either way...joining a group that interests you, or taking a class (like a cooking class or something). If it's something you really like, even if you don't strike up a friendship with someone, it's good for you to get out and expand your horizons.
  3. Senior Member
    Candice.'s Avatar
    Candice. is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Both back at home, Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    5,645
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by dream View Post
    This whole idea of starting everything over is scarey and nerve wrecking. I made the move to Virginia to my parents house.

    I left DH on the 21st, I expected him to be all he did was sit there and watch a comedy special. He knew I was leaving, but didn't react at all. I expected something, heck anything would of been better than him watching tv and laughing. At least than I would of felt like he cared.

    His actions never have consequences and usually I just shut up and take it. Then Nothing. Sadly that week of silence was really nice. Stressful in the oh my i'm moving way, but different strehttp://www.militarysos.com/forum/images/styles/sos/editor/menupop.gifss than him being drunk and worrying what the night would hold. I ended the week in just being disappointed in his childish behavior. He emptied our joint bank account, took furniture out of our house, cancelled my debit card. Now he won't stop calling or texting. I think I counted 30 calls. 12 of those to my cellphone when it was on. If he doesn't reach me he calls my parents house or my dads cell. He was served with divorce papers and a restraining order to go with the wo military protection orders

    I have no idea how you even start over after 8 years with someone. How do you meet people?

    For now though I'd settle for a good meal don't remember when I had one. hmm start a cheesy movie list line:
    A new guy must cook


    The bold is probably a good thing. I know it sucks, but when I left my ex, seeing him show no emotion made it easier for me to walk away.

    As for meeting people, you make friends. I'm sure you know this already but it's too soon to think about a relationship. Make friendships to keep your mind off things and one of them eventually may turn in to love.

    I'm so sorry he did that shit, how immature and just mean. Is there anything legally you can do about the money?
  4. Senior Member
    villanelle's Avatar
    villanelle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    14,790
    #4
    I would work on myself for a while and stay far, far away from anything intended to meet men.

    I think classes or volunteering are a great idea. You might make friends doing those, but it would be something you are doing for yourself. Even making a list about the next guy seems premature.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  5. cuz i'm wonderful
    linzerfufu's Avatar
    linzerfufu is offline
    cuz i'm wonderful
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    11,833
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by dream View Post
    This whole idea of starting everything over is scarey and nerve wrecking. I made the move to Virginia to my parents house.

    I left DH on the 21st, I expected him to be all he did was sit there and watch a comedy special. He knew I was leaving, but didn't react at all. I expected something, heck anything would of been better than him watching tv and laughing. At least than I would of felt like he cared.

    His actions never have consequences and usually I just shut up and take it. Then Nothing. Sadly that week of silence was really nice. Stressful in the oh my i'm moving way, but different strehttp://www.militarysos.com/forum/images/styles/sos/editor/menupop.gifss than him being drunk and worrying what the night would hold. I ended the week in just being disappointed in his childish behavior. He emptied our joint bank account, took furniture out of our house, cancelled my debit card. Now he won't stop calling or texting. I think I counted 30 calls. 12 of those to my cellphone when it was on. If he doesn't reach me he calls my parents house or my dads cell. He was served with divorce papers and a restraining order to go with the wo military protection orders

    I have no idea how you even start over after 8 years with someone. How do you meet people?

    For now though I'd settle for a good meal don't remember when I had one. hmm start a cheesy movie list line:
    A new guy must cook


    These men exist. They're as rare and magical as unicorns, but they exist. Go for an oldest son.

    I'm so sorry. You'll get back into the groove and figure out how to meet people. It's better than dealing with a lifetime of being treated like shit.
  6. cuz i'm wonderful
    linzerfufu's Avatar
    linzerfufu is offline
    cuz i'm wonderful
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    11,833
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I would work on myself for a while and stay far, far away from anything intended to meet men.

    I think classes or volunteering are a great idea. You might make friends doing those, but it would be something you are doing for yourself. Even making a list about the next guy seems premature.
    I don't think that's true. I think the best part about breakups is they teach you what you don't want, so you can find someone you do want and know why. Yeah, I'd take things slow, but I've realized that you can't control the universe. Sometimes it drops it in your lap, and the worst thing to do is run for it just because it's not what you "should do."

    I agree, though, that you shouldn't rush things. Just from my experience, I found a really amazing guy right out of my relationship and I meant to stay single for at least a few years. Were taking it slow, but he's pretty amazing. I dunno, sometimes things just work out when you're not expecting it. I didnt go looking for him, but he ended up there all the same.
  7. You are here.
    Frybread's Avatar
    Frybread is offline
    You are here.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    23,977
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I would work on myself for a while and stay far, far away from anything intended to meet men.

    I think classes or volunteering are a great idea. You might make friends doing those, but it would be something you are doing for yourself. Even making a list about the next guy seems premature.
    i have to agree....so many seem to think they find the negatives and will go from there but then they seem to go back to someone similar.

    as for financial issues, are you working? his command may have told him to take you off all financial things to protect himself since you left. He might only be told to give you the difference between what he would get for BAH which maybe 200 to 300 bucks. You can talk to the ombudsman and see but that may be all you are getting. the rest he may be funnelling towards his expenses, he'll still be paying rent, phone, utilities as if you were still there. the rest may be going towards divorce proceedings and possibly a lawyer. good luck
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
    EmilyPT's Avatar
    EmilyPT is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    6,311

    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by linzerfufu View Post


    These men exist. They're as rare and magical as unicorns, but they exist. Go for an oldest son.

    I'm so sorry. You'll get back into the groove and figure out how to meet people. It's better than dealing with a lifetime of being treated like shit.
    This is true. DH is an oldest son and he cooks and all that jazz.

    OP - I can't even imagine how difficult this transition is for you, but I'm sure you know you're doing the right thing. Meeting people and normalcy will come with time, but for now, know that you did the best thing for yourself. That takes a strong person.
  9. Senior Member
    Nicole!'s Avatar
    Nicole! is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Fort Bragg
    Posts
    6,446
    #9
  10. Keep on dreaming little penguin
    dream's Avatar
    dream is offline
    Keep on dreaming little penguin
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Fredricksburg, VA
    Posts
    2,162
    #10
    The guy that cooks thing I blame on my mom putting food network on, lol. I went to school to be a baker/pastry chef so I can cook myself it's just nice to not be the sole cook.

    I have a couple friends in the area, but definitely looking for friends not any sort of relationship for a long while. The money issue is that I've not worked for the last two years, due to him wanting to travel and my own health issues ( two surgeries this year already). We don't have an ombudsman unfortunately since he's on medical hold. His command is less than helpful, but my lawyer is wonderful. I am looking for a job right now and working on school for medical billing/coding. I'm hoping that he will let up this week so I can actually do stuff without all the constant harassment.
    BraveLilToaster is the most awesome wifey ever!
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •