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Thread: I keep saying I'm ok...

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    #1

    I keep saying I'm ok...

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    And I want it to be true. But it's just not. I hate this. I hate that there are still things that I want to say to him but I can't. I hate seeing him doing all the things that we were gonna do together. I hate that whenever I talk about it I want to cry but I don't want to cry because I just want to be ok! And I can't keep talking to people about it cause there's nothing new to say and I don't want to be "that girl" that can't stop talking about her ex. Cause that's what he is. He's my ex. Luke, my best friend since I was 15, is my ex, and I can't talk to him anymore.

    I just...I wish things had gone differently. Not that we were still together, but that he'd had the respect for me, and the maturity, to be able to call me and say "listen, I think we need to have a serious conversation about our relationship because I have concerns" and then maybe we could have come to the decision together instead of him dropping it on me after saying that he was willing to work on things.

    I wish I could hate him. That would be so much easier. But I don't. I just miss him.



    I'm Baaaaaaaack
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    #2


    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Breaking up and losing all that you had in a relationship is the worst feeling in the world. My step-dad used to say if you could bottle that feeling you could win wars with it.

    I've been where you are, and if you ever need a sympathetic ear, I'm here. My ex blindsided me and told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted to break up, when I thought things were great. We dated for fives years, and then, just like that, it was over.

    It's okay to not be okay. You lost something precious to you, and it hurts. Take the time you need and deal with this in the best way for you.
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    #3
    Its perfectly ok to not be ok yet. Don't listen to people tell you when you should feel better. Everyone deals with breakups on their own time and each breakup is unique.
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    #4
    Nora. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry this is so hard on you. I'm sorry he went about this in the completely wrong way. While I haven't been in your shoes before, I also lost my best friend who I'd had since I was 16 at the drop of a hat and with no explanation. It was/is so hard after being best friends for ten years and *poof* he's gone, doesn't talk to me anymore. So much of my past and memories are connected to him, it's hard to reminisce without running into thoughts of him, which is the last thing I want to do. What I've been finding to help, is to make NEW memories that I can reminisce about. For starters, I dated exDB for a little while (someone exbf would never like or get along with) and now HE is my new best friend. I realized all the things that I was because of my exbf and changed the things that I actually didn't like about myself. In a way, I finally have been feeling like I'm becoming me. It takes time. You'll get there. In the meantime, I'm here for you. Take care. Go have fun.
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    #5
    I am so sorry.
    Never do anything halfway unless you want to be half happy.

    Is this a dream? If it is, please don't wake me from this high. I'd become comfortably numb
    until you opened up my eyes to what it's like when everything is right...I can't believe you found me ♥
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    #6
    I know that this is such a cliche statement, but it'll take time to pass. It WILL pass, though. Keep taking care of you. You live in a beautiful state now and it sounds like you have a wonderful job and those are two things to be thankful for! When the time comes, I'm positive you will meet someone that will make you say "Luke who??"

    Feel free to PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to

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    #7
    God, I wish I knew the words to take away your pain. I remember being there for months and months but the good news is that it eventually DOES go away. Don't hate on yourself for feeling pain. It helps you heal
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    #8
    I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. But hang in there... one thing I use for myself is "fake it til ya make it" and it has worked for me through a divorce and a relationship I thought was life-long... and I got through it, I'm stronger today because of those experiences... this too will pass and before you know it you'll be through the thick of it
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    #9
    Honestly just go with the emotions whether it's venting it out through here, other people, paper, artistic-ness the more you release the, I don't want to say the easier it will be but... the less likely it will leave lasting, ugly scars. It's ok to not be ok. You lost a huge piece of your life and you need to mourn that loss. It's going to suck especially right now but letting that out is better for you in the long run. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by norabora View Post
    And I want it to be true. But it's just not. I hate this. I hate that there are still things that I want to say to him but I can't. I hate seeing him doing all the things that we were gonna do together. I hate that whenever I talk about it I want to cry but I don't want to cry because I just want to be ok! And I can't keep talking to people about it cause there's nothing new to say and I don't want to be "that girl" that can't stop talking about her ex. Cause that's what he is. He's my ex. Luke, my best friend since I was 15, is my ex, and I can't talk to him anymore.

    I just...I wish things had gone differently. Not that we were still together, but that he'd had the respect for me, and the maturity, to be able to call me and say "listen, I think we need to have a serious conversation about our relationship because I have concerns" and then maybe we could have come to the decision together instead of him dropping it on me after saying that he was willing to work on things.

    I wish I could hate him. That would be so much easier. But I don't. I just miss him.
    It is absolutely ok to miss him. You need to grieve the loss of having him in your life. So feel what you feel, and work through the emotions of everything.

    That all being said. Don't wallow. Let yourself do other things that make you happy, or that have the potential to make you happy. Eventually one day, maybe one month, 3 months, 6 months, etc. you will feel ok.
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