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Thread: Closure?

  1. Life is an adventure!
    Punky77's Avatar
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    #1

    Closure?

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    I've done very well with this whole break up, but now I'm getting to this stage where I'm wanting answers. It is was it is and I've tried incredibly hard to just accept that. Talking to him and actually having closure is not an option.

    Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get the closure I'm looking for without talking to him, without getting answers? Maybe closure isn't the right word I'm looking for, but some helpful suggestions to move on without feeling the need to have these things.

    I hope this isn't too scatter brained. TIA
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    #2
    Time and keeping yourself busy. Set some goals for yourself and work towards them. But time will help you heal and you won't need the answers you look for right now.


    “For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


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    #3
    Honestly, you may never get that 'closure'. I know when J and I broke up, I definitely did not. I never got the answers I wanted/needed and I just learned to let it go and move on. It may never happen and you need to just accept that :\
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    #4
    Go out and do stuff for yourself that make you happy to get your mind off of it. I agree that time will help you heal.
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    #5
    I've been where you are, and honestly I still have questions about why my ex did what he did, and I will never hear it from him.

    At some point, you have to push past the why did he do what he did, and focus on yourself. What did you do wrong in the relationship? What behavior of yours would you have changed, and how will you act differently in the future? It takes time. I don't know your situation, but it took about six months before I was able to stop focusing on him, what he did to me, how he acted. It just takes time


  6. Life is an adventure!
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    #6
    Thanks ladies! I've done so well with it, I've refused to let myself cry because honestly he's just not worth the tears. I started school today and before that I tried to be extremely productive and just spend time with my friends. Tonight, for some reason, I just started wondering why, when did things change, etc. I probably won't even care in the morning, but after I finished my homework tonight it's been all I can think about it.
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    #7
    i've been there...

    people gave me 'advice' to date other people, go do this and that... to be honest... for me, it was just time... i couldn't invest in another person, and didn't seem fair to them... and doing any of the 'revenge' or 'thatll show him' type stuff just wasn't for me...

    everyday, i would spend less and less of my day thinking about it, till it was finally gone...

    hang in there...
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    #8
    Like PP have said, you may never got the answers you need from him. I never got answers from exDB and probably never will. exDF JUST emailed me out of the blue almost 3.5 years after our relationship ended with answers, but by then I really didn't want or need them.

    Many sent your way.

  9. Old Newbie
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    #9
    He probably doesn't have the answers anyway. We (guys) are often oblivious. The best you would be able to get out of his is probably 'cause I felt like it'. You are better off thinking 'square pegs and round holes just don't fit together.
  10. You are here.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Nutmeg View Post
    Honestly, you may never get that 'closure'. I know when J and I broke up, I definitely did not. I never got the answers I wanted/needed and I just learned to let it go and move on. It may never happen and you need to just accept that :\
    ^^ditto it may just be time.

    i think also telling yoursef and reassuring yoruself that you did everything you could do may also help. you did everything on yoiur end and that you can't help if he didn't.
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