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Thread: How does military law work with divorce?

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    #1

    How does military law work with divorce?

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    First a bit of background. I posted about a month ago concerning the situation with myself and my husband (Heartbroken... Long but PLEASE read) and things are not any better. Since my initial post, he took all the money from our bank accounts and put it in a different account and left me with nothing. I finally called his first sergeant and filled him in on the money situation, the fact that DH stopped his meds etc. DH was made to do an allotment ($100 per paycheck) for me. Thats it...I didn't feel the first sergeant was very supportive...kind of treated me like I was just some annoying spouse. That same week he kept telling me I had to find somewhere else to live and that I was going to be kicked out and all this other stuff. Hes no longer trying to kick me out of the house because, obviously, he can't legally. Nothing has really improved between us, I've spent most weekends in Jacksonville (2 hours from our home) with my family. I've gotten lawyer to protect myself and help guide me through this but I am not going to move forward with anything until he does. He has not filed as far as I know (met with my lawyer on Tuesday of last week but I've been gone to Jacksonville since Wednesday of last week). His family is shocked and very upset with how he is acting and agree that he is totally not himself (according to some texts I've exchanged with my BIL) but they haven't really been very supportive otherwise....

    He keeps telling me I am not going to get anything and what not, because we weren't married that long I guess. I know I'm not going to get much but he keeps telling me I'm entitled to nothing. I honestly don't want anything from him (money or possession wise) but I've been advised to try to get something to help me restart my life (I will be moving back to Jacksonville once I'm done in school) which is logical, really. Does anyone have any insight on what exactly a spouse is entitled to/able to get as far as support when it comes to military divorces? I've already been told by my lawyer the the allotment is fair (though incredibly small) because I am still living at our house and he is still paying most of the household bills.

    Here are some facts if that helps --
    We've been married 2 years (in april)
    We live in GA
    The house is in his name (we own) but I don't really care about that because all it is, is a debt (my lawyer's words)
    We have no children (a good thing at this point)

    I know no one can give me a figure, but if anyone has been through this, especially with a short marriage, what am I looking at here?
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by juniorminty View Post
    First a bit of background. I posted about a month ago concerning the situation with myself and my husband (Heartbroken... Long but PLEASE read) and things are not any better. Since my initial post, he took all the money from our bank accounts and put it in a different account and left me with nothing. I finally called his first sergeant and filled him in on the money situation, the fact that DH stopped his meds etc. DH was made to do an allotment ($100 per paycheck) for me. Thats it...I didn't feel the first sergeant was very supportive...kind of treated me like I was just some annoying spouse. That same week he kept telling me I had to find somewhere else to live and that I was going to be kicked out and all this other stuff. Hes no longer trying to kick me out of the house because, obviously, he can't legally. Nothing has really improved between us, I've spent most weekends in Jacksonville (2 hours from our home) with my family. I've gotten lawyer to protect myself and help guide me through this but I am not going to move forward with anything until he does. He has not filed as far as I know (met with my lawyer on Tuesday of last week but I've been gone to Jacksonville since Wednesday of last week). His family is shocked and very upset with how he is acting and agree that he is totally not himself (according to some texts I've exchanged with my BIL) but they haven't really been very supportive otherwise....

    He keeps telling me I am not going to get anything and what not, because we weren't married that long I guess. I know I'm not going to get much but he keeps telling me I'm entitled to nothing. I honestly don't want anything from him (money or possession wise) but I've been advised to try to get something to help me restart my life (I will be moving back to Jacksonville once I'm done in school) which is logical, really. Does anyone have any insight on what exactly a spouse is entitled to/able to get as far as support when it comes to military divorces? I've already been told by my lawyer the the allotment is fair (though incredibly small) because I am still living at our house and he is still paying most of the household bills.

    Here are some facts if that helps --
    We've been married 2 years (in april)
    We live in GA
    The house is in his name (we own) but I don't really care about that because all it is, is a debt (my lawyer's words)
    We have no children (a good thing at this point)

    I know no one can give me a figure, but if anyone has been through this, especially with a short marriage, what am I looking at here?
    Legally the military cannot force him to do anything/pay you anything without a court order. They can make his life miserable until he gives you maybe the difference between single and married BAH, but overall the military really has nothing to do with divorce, you will have to go through civilian courts and channels to get anything.
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    #3
    I have no idea about the money situation. However, if you're planning to get divorced, it's a good idea to move out now. That will speed up the process. In some states (like in VA where I live), if you have kids, you have to be seperated for 1 year. At least you won't have to wait that long.







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    #4
    When my friend was going through her divorce and the money her ex kept from her that was for her and such she had to go through civilian court. The JAG would barely talk to her on the matter. It wasn't until she took him to court that a civilian judge made him give her the money.


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    #5
    Your lawyer seems on the ball with what your are entitled too. If you have any savings attained from when you were married to when separated than maybe half since Georgia is a community property state. Since the house isn't in your name it isn't considered a marital asset so more than likely he will not have to settle that with you. Unless the two of you collected a heft amount of joint assets you probably will only get what you came into the marriage with. I have also seen a short-term spouse (less than 2 years) be given a percentage of the retirement (something like 1/100) because legally the judge had to even though it is worth nada.

    The only thing I have ever heard of was that if the separated spouse isn't living at home then he or she gets the difference between single soldier housing pay and with dependent housing pay. My SIL is going through a divorce after less than a year of marriage and he is being very generous paying her a bit more than the dependent housing money until the divorce is finalized. Other than that she is walking away with nothing.
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    #6
    as a spouse you are entitled to a portion of the BAH- the difference between with dep and without-
    you can get alimony for up to 1 yr after the divorce.

    your attorney needs to get the court to grant a legal seperation with the financial guidelines court ordered so you can get more than 100 dollars a pay day.

    you are also entitled to tricare until the divorce is final.

    also what you can ask for and what I would ask for is for the funds to move back home- and I would ask for at least 5,000 dollars in addition to the alimony for 1 yr.

    I was able to get alimony for 2 yrs ( we were married for 10 yrs) 2500 dollars to relocate ( should have been more but was my mistake for not asking for more)

    GL!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by juniorminty View Post
    He keeps telling me I am not going to get anything and what not, because we weren't married that long I guess. I know I'm not going to get much but he keeps telling me I'm entitled to nothing. I honestly don't want anything from him (money or possession wise) but I've been advised to try to get something to help me restart my life (I will be moving back to Jacksonville once I'm done in school) which is logical, really. Does anyone have any insight on what exactly a spouse is entitled to/able to get as far as support when it comes to military divorces? I've already been told by my lawyer the the allotment is fair (though incredibly small) because I am still living at our house and he is still paying most of the household bills.

    Here are some facts if that helps --
    We've been married 2 years (in april)
    We live in GA
    The house is in his name (we own) but I don't really care about that because all it is, is a debt (my lawyer's words)
    We have no children (a good thing at this point)
    Since you are still living in the house and he is paying most of the household bills plus giving you $200 a month, I doubt you would be entitled to the difference between BAH with dependents and BAH single. His BAH with dependents is being used to provide a house for you, his dependent.

    Also, since the marriage only lasted 2 years, it could be very difficult for you to get alimony.
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    #8
    I am so sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately, have only being married for 2 years will not grant you any monetary assistance. If you do decide to leave wait until a lawyer says it is a good time, you dont want to get abandonment.

    Maybe contact the chaplain to see if he can counsel you both?

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    #9
    Thanks for the advice everyone. I agree with the allottment, it is fair considering im still living there. Honestly itd not feasible for ne to move out bc i would either have to find month to month rental or at a friends neither of which I want to do with only 7ish weeks of my school left. So I have no issues with the allotment. If I get nothing in the end, I get nothing and it wouldn't make a difference to me, however I know I need to be logical as well. We are asking for some assistance with me moving back. Just wanted to what my possibilities were. Thanks!

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