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Thread: Life Again

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    #1

    Life Again

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    My Master Sergeant and I broke up last month. I hated it. This was a man I would have waited the 12 months during deployment. We came so close and I learned so much about the life.

    Being single and resentful, I was never going to accept another date from a military man again. Even though I had while-heartedly believed in all my ex was doing before, I would simply close my heart to that avenue ever again. Too much pain involved and I wouldn't want my loyalty to be taken for granted again.

    Fast forward to now and I can't really understand the reasons why certain people come into my life. Another army man has entered my life and has asked me for a date this weekend. Others have asked me out, but this guy makes me laugh and he is nothing like my ex. I don't know where this is going to go. All I know is that I all of a sudden became open to a guy in the army again. I accepted a date for Saturday night and we shall see where it leads.

    Giggling to myself, I wonder if my last relationship was merely warm up for this one. I'll keep you posted.
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    #2
    Girl. I have been your Exact. Same. Shoes. (ok not quite, but pretty similar) i feel your pain, its confusing, scary and just plain sucks.

    About a year and a half ago I started dated my exDB, he was a sailor and he was everything I thought i wanted in a guy. I fell head over heels in love with him. We were trying to take things slow...but...well...I guess I fell mor ein love with him than he ever felt for me. He spent so much energy keeping me at arms length and not letting me into his life even the slightest bit that it eventually broke my heart. I was depressed, my self esteem was shot and it was a rejection I thought I'd never get over. I broke it off with him. The break up was made worse by the fact that he didn't want me to go, but i was so sad. I loved him with my whole heart and i just couldn't take it anymore.

    After that I decided I wanted to be alone, forever. And when I got over that phase, I decided I'd stay away from the military(our main issue was that he would be deployed more than he would ever be home, I was willing to do all the waiting, he wasn't willing to take the risk with me.)

    But then came J. He plopped right down into my life like he knew he belonged there and took over my heart like he knew it was his from day one. He is EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a man, and everything I didn't know I needed It was really hard letting my guard down. Mostly because I was still in the no military man phase. It was hard and scary, but 120% worth it. He's been nothing but patient and kind for our entire relationship. I've never talked about that particular exdb to J although he knows I've been majorly burned in my past.

    Do I still think about exDB anymore? Yes, from time to time he crosses my mind and I feel a little sad...mostly for him because he missed out. But also, I hope he's found happiness and love with someone.

    As for my sweet J. He proposed in January. We are getting married on Friday.
    Not saying you're going to marry this guy your talking to. But my fingers are crossed that you will give him a good chance. Never know where it will lead to!
  3. *Persevere*
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    Don't let his job interfere with the type of person he is. I know that's hard, especially because of all the stigmas with military relationships and the things you have to endure. But give this guy a full shot. I'm from a military town so it was inevitable that I have many friends and family who are military brats or enlisted/officers, I ended up dating a few guys in the military among the other guys with different jobs. The first relationship I had with a guy in the Army was awful, he cheated and did horrible things that you always hear horror stories about. I went through my little phase of 'no more military' but then realized how ridiculous it was. My exDF worked as a reporter, he was awful to me but I certainly didn't say 'no more reporters!' so it wouldn't be fair to do that to other men.

    My DB has a job in the military, and that's just that, it's his job. He busts his ass everyday and I'm so proud of him. However it doesn't define the core of our relationship or who he is as a person, he is the best man I have ever had the privelege to share my life with, certainly the best boyfriend I have ever had, and I love the way we are able to progress without my previous fears/insecurities becoming a problem. Just take things a day at a time and try your best to leave your old baggage where it belongs, in the past, and enjoy your date!!
    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results." ~Albert Einstein

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    Quote Originally Posted by Whe24 View Post
    Girl. I have been your Exact. Same. Shoes. (ok not quite, but pretty similar) i feel your pain, its confusing, scary and just plain sucks.

    About a year and a half ago I started dated my exDB, he was a sailor and he was everything I thought i wanted in a guy. I fell head over heels in love with him. We were trying to take things slow...but...well...I guess I fell mor ein love with him than he ever felt for me. He spent so much energy keeping me at arms length and not letting me into his life even the slightest bit that it eventually broke my heart. I was depressed, my self esteem was shot and it was a rejection I thought I'd never get over. I broke it off with him. The break up was made worse by the fact that he didn't want me to go, but i was so sad. I loved him with my whole heart and i just couldn't take it anymore.

    After that I decided I wanted to be alone, forever. And when I got over that phase, I decided I'd stay away from the military(our main issue was that he would be deployed more than he would ever be home, I was willing to do all the waiting, he wasn't willing to take the risk with me.)

    But then came J. He plopped right down into my life like he knew he belonged there and took over my heart like he knew it was his from day one. He is EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a man, and everything I didn't know I needed It was really hard letting my guard down. Mostly because I was still in the no military man phase. It was hard and scary, but 120% worth it. He's been nothing but patient and kind for our entire relationship. I've never talked about that particular exdb to J although he knows I've been majorly burned in my past.

    Do I still think about exDB anymore? Yes, from time to time he crosses my mind and I feel a little sad...mostly for him because he missed out. But also, I hope he's found happiness and love with someone.

    As for my sweet J. He proposed in January. We are getting married on Friday.
    Not saying you're going to marry this guy your talking to. But my fingers are crossed that you will give him a good chance. Never know where it will lead to!
    Wow your story with your ex sounds VERY similar to mine. My ex's detachment increased so much. I had thought it was an army thing at first. I too must have fallen harder than him.

    So good for me to see at the very least, this new guy is very open in communication from the get go. Lol. I'm typing this on my iPhone and he is concurrently sending me text messages.

    Quote Originally Posted by brighteyed88 View Post
    Don't let his job interfere with the type of person he is. I know that's hard, especially because of all the stigmas with military relationships and the things you have to endure. But give this guy a full shot. I'm from a military town so it was inevitable that I have many friends and family who are military brats or enlisted/officers, I ended up dating a few guys in the military among the other guys with different jobs. The first relationship I had with a guy in the Army was awful, he cheated and did horrible things that you always hear horror stories about. I went through my little phase of 'no more military' but then realized how ridiculous it was. My exDF worked as a reporter, he was awful to me but I certainly didn't say 'no more reporters!' so it wouldn't be fair to do that to other men.

    My DB has a job in the military, and that's just that, it's his job. He busts his ass everyday and I'm so proud of him. However it doesn't define the core of our relationship or who he is as a person, he is the best man I have ever had the privelege to share my life with, certainly the best boyfriend I have ever had, and I love the way we are able to progress without my previous fears/insecurities becoming a problem. Just take things a day at a time and try your best to leave your old baggage where it belongs, in the past, and enjoy your date!!
    You, know when this guy found out that my ex was a soldier, he was a bit skeptical. He wanted to make sure I was interested in him as a person and not some woman who I guess just sees a uniform. It made me laugh and I told him that I had actually become resistant to dating any man in a uniform, but that I find his personality so intriguing, I'm over looking my resistance. And it's true. So far this man is really captivating me with his openess and humor. And he is going out of his way to respect me and show me he is genuine. He's also making a big deal out of our first date too. Very classy. But I will stay grounded, but not skeptical as you ladies suggest.

    Would be nice if something came out of it and it proves to be true. Time will tell.
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    #5
    Update: First date was amazing. I was treated like a princess by this soldier. And we couldn't help it, we went on date very next night (tonight).

    Now we are going to pace things a little and slow it down. Next date isn't until 3 more days. Hahaha! We have hit it off so wonderfully. SO glad I gave another army man a chance. I can't stereo type them all based on one negative experience. This guy is so attentive and such a gentleman.

    I just had to update because it's such a nice twist in my life to meet a man like this, regardless of what he does.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Urbangirl View Post
    Update: First date was amazing. I was treated like a princess by this soldier. And we couldn't help it, we went on date very next night (tonight).

    Now we are going to pace things a little and slow it down. Next date isn't until 3 more days. Hahaha! We have hit it off so wonderfully. SO glad I gave another army man a chance. I can't stereo type them all based on one negative experience. This guy is so attentive and such a gentleman.

    I just had to update because it's such a nice twist in my life to meet a man like this, regardless of what he does.
    YIPPPPEEEEE!!!! That's FANTASTI!! I'm SO excited for you!

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