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Thread: Do I go?

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    #1

    Do I go?

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    My ex of two years just texted me, telling me he has my (expensive) camera I left at his house a year ago, and some of my clothes. Well, I'd go get them, But I don't trust him. He's being overly nice to me, when a few weeks ago he was saying how he hated me. Anyway, I really need that camera back, and I asked a few of my friends to go with me, but they can't. I kinda just wanna go get it by myself, and get it over with, but I kinda feel like i'm disrespecting DF If I go alone. Of course i'd tell him that I went, but I feel like he's gonna get upset or mad. I don't see the harm as long as I just pick it up, then leave. But I can just see him getting mad and us getting into a huge fight. So, question is... do I go, pick it up and get it over with? Or should I just wait?
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    #2
    Honestly, if you think your DF would be upset then I would listen to your gut. You haven't had the camera for a year, does it really need to be picked up right now? That would be my train of thought if I were him ... why is this thing that you haven't had for a year suddenly so important that you just HAVE to drop everything and go over to your ex's house by yourself? (Sorry if that sounds harsh I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes).

    Or another idea, maybe you could suggest meeting in a public place (coffee shop, gas station), and your DF might be more comfortable with that, and you also might feel safer?
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    #3
    I'd tell your DF before you go. I personally don't think it's disrespectful to get your stuff from an ex, but I guess I don't know your history either and it's not worth getting in a fight with your DF if you can just wait for a day when i friend can go with you.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    Honestly, if you think your DF would be upset then I would listen to your gut. You haven't had the camera for a year, does it really need to be picked up right now? That would be my train of thought if I were him ... why is this thing that you haven't had for a year suddenly so important that you just HAVE to drop everything and go over to your ex's house by yourself? (Sorry if that sounds harsh I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes).

    Or another idea, maybe you could suggest meeting in a public place (coffee shop, gas station), and your DF might be more comfortable with that, and you also might feel safer?

    It's my moms, and she honestly forgot about it till he texted me, so now she really wants it back.

    and yeah, I see what you mean. That's why i'm hesitant about going, but then again I wouldn't care if he got stuff from his ex, as long as he just picked it up then left, kwim?
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by *Caraa View Post
    It's my moms, and she honestly forgot about it till he texted me, so now she really wants it back.

    and yeah, I see what you mean. That's why i'm hesitant about going, but then again I wouldn't care if he got stuff from his ex, as long as he just picked it up then left, kwim?
    Yeah I definitely see what you mean! I'm not sure what your relationship boundaries are so it makes it hard to say. But I would go with your gut on this one.

    And for the trust issue alone (you just being worried), I would personally say either go to a public place or wait until someone can go with you ... better safe than sorry!
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    #6
    Can your mom go with you, since its her camera and she wants it back?

    I would take someone with you. Tell your DF about it first, see what he thinks. At the end of the day its just... stuff. Ya know?
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    #7
    Can you have your mom go? Or at least go with you? If not I'd text him and say "meet me at *insert public place here*" All you have to do is go, grab your stuff, maybe say thanks and leave. Of course I'd tell your DF, but explain it just like it happens. He can't really get upset with you over just grabbing your stuff. It's not like you're gonna go have coffee with the ex, kwim?
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    #8
    i would go, assuming there is no history of him endangering you or having serious anger issues break-ups are rarely nice, the i-hate-yous are normal, as long as he was a good guy to begin with, i doubt anything would happen other than an awkward exchange.

    i don't think it's rude to your DF, it's not like you're going to hang out with him. i don't see how that could be misconstrued.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by KaylaH View Post
    Can your mom go with you, since its her camera and she wants it back?

    I would take someone with you. Tell your DF about it first, see what he thinks. At the end of the day its just... stuff. Ya know?


    I would see if your mom can go with you or wait for someone to go with just for my own comfort.

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    #10
    If your think your DF is going to be upset.. he probably is. I would tell him to mail it, or drop it off with your parents at his earliest convenience.. that way HE has to come to YOU... you don't have to go to him.

    I also don't think it's very safe to just up and go over to someones home, alone, that was just saying they hated you. I'm paranoid, but I'd be thinking "Is he going to attack me once I get there" type thing.
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