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Thread: I need to scream. (super long)

  1. The Decider
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    #1

    I need to scream. (super long)

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    I really am upset about this.

    So. Timeline: I broke up with Kyle on January 29th. I was pretty broke up about it. I wrote him love letters (four of them, and I gave them all to him on Tuesday the 8th ) and was generally pretty pathetic. That same Tuesday, I picked up the gate key to my condo, and asked him if I could borrow his GPS and camera for my trip out to California (Thursday the 10th). The entire time, he is being... sometimes not so nice. Called me names. Told me to fuck off. Told me that if we had not been dating, we would never be friends because he doesn't like anything about me. He was just an all-around peach. The only time I got any vibe other than a really negative one from him was once, when he was asking about my California trip. He said that whether or not he wanted to be with me was dependent on whether I had planned this trip before or after I ended our relationship.

    So Thursday, I headed out to California. Picked up the GPS and camera from Kyle at his work and made the drive. I texted him once when I got lost because I needed directions and thought he might be out of work, or near a computer and the GPS had died. He texted me when I was out at dinner with the guys to make sure I had made it okay. I called him and talked for like two minutes, asked him to take the bird to the vet for me over the weekend, and he told me to have fun.

    Well I did. Plenty of it. I drank more than I should have and can't remember pieces of the night, but I spent time with the three guys I have known the longest and who mean the world to me. And I kissed one of them.

    Well last night, Kyle called me just after midnight. He started talking about how he wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse this weekend but didn't have anyone to go with. I figured it was his round-about way of asking me to go, so I said sure, that I would go if he wanted to pay my way, but that I wasn't going to buy my own steak just because he wanted one and doesn't have friends to go with.

    Turns out that wasn't the case after-all. He told me he missed me. He kissed me. Then we hung out in the car in the parking lot for an hour after dinner (waiting for the people I had plans with to get out of their movie) and he asked questions about what happened when I was in California. I answered honestly. Shall we clarify here? I BROKE UP WITH HIM. Very important point.

    He tells me that I cheated on him. He feels physically the same way that he did when he found out his ex-wife was cheating on him. That I led him to believe that we were together, or that I would not be acting like I was single, and has laid on a mad guilt trip.

    The last thing he said to me was "It doesn't matter. I feel cheated on. There's very little you could do at this point to save us."

    HELLO?!?!?! I broke up with you. You called me a cunt. The NIGHT BEFORE I LEFT, you said "Look, you broke up with me. You could go have sex with someone tonight and the only reason I'd be pissed is because I haven't in three years. I'm just trying to make sense of the situation."

    Now I kiss a boy and you change your mind?

    I'm sorry that he is hurting. I'm sorry that he expected more out of me than I gave him. I'm sorry that I might not have been clear about my intentions. But I am not a fucking mind reader! I am not going to assume that he says one thing and means something else. He's not a woman!

    Stop laying on the guilt trip. You're not succeeding. I do not feel guilty. I get it. You're hurt. If you don't want to talk to me ever again, that's cool. Don't assume that since you had left your bed in my condo, I knew we were going to get back together and live happily ever after.

    Please. Just. Stop.
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  2. Yes I miss Spell Words and my Grammar Sucks.... Get over it.
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    #2
    I don't know what to say , but i want to give you a . I kinda understand why he is hurt but the things he said to you wow . I hope thinks work out for you too, i hope he can get over this and realize you two were broken up and that this is not all your fault, he plays a part in this too.

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  3. Senior Member
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    #3


    This is going to be short since the vicodin kicked in: You did nothing to feel guilty about. I'm sorry hes being douchey McDoucherson. You knpw if you need anything to message me. you
  4. Senior Member
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    #4
    You shouldnt feel guilty. He is being a Douchebag. Im sorry he is treating you this way and acting like a chiild.
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  5. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
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    #5
    Ugh. That sucks he's reacting the way he did. Hopefully he'll realize that you didn't need to tell him anything, since it was really none of his business. Give him some time to cool off. You did nothing wrong in my eyes. I can understand him being disappointed and hurt, but it's in no way comparable to his exwife cheating on him
  6. The Decider
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    Love you, Kat!

    Quote Originally Posted by BooBoo_Bear View Post
    Ugh. That sucks he's reacting the way he did. Hopefully he'll realize that you didn't need to tell him anything, since it was really none of his business. Give him some time to cool off. You did nothing wrong in my eyes. I can understand him being disappointed and hurt, but it's in no way comparable to his exwife cheating on him
    My thoughts exactly. I get that he's bummed. I get that he hurts. He said something about how dare I go out to dinner with him tonight when I'm planning on having M (the guy I kissed last week) over tomorrow to stay the night after we go out and shoot some pool. Um, not a mind reader. Again. If you say you want someone to go out to dinner with and don't specifically say you want to take me out, I'm not going to assume otherwise!

    Ugh. I'm just so frustrated I want to cry! I want to fall into his arms and bawl like a baby. I need a hug.

    Scratch that. I am crying. I had a really good time tonight. He dressed up. He showered. (I hate that he gets home from work smelling like latex.) He wore cologne. He took me out on the first date we have had in three and a half months. Then he gets mad at me when I am honest with him, and tells me that I have cheated.

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  7. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleRed View Post
    Love you, Kat!



    My thoughts exactly. I get that he's bummed. I get that he hurts. He said something about how dare I go out to dinner with him tonight when I'm planning on having M (the guy I kissed last week) over tomorrow to stay the night after we go out and shoot some pool. Um, not a mind reader. Again. If you say you want someone to go out to dinner with and don't specifically say you want to take me out, I'm not going to assume otherwise!

    Ugh. I'm just so frustrated I want to cry! I want to fall into his arms and bawl like a baby. I need a hug.

    Scratch that. I am crying. I had a really good time tonight. He dressed up. He showered. (I hate that he gets home from work smelling like latex.) He wore cologne. He took me out on the first date we have had in three and a half months. Then he gets mad at me when I am honest with him, and tells me that I have cheated.



    Did you tell him that? Did you actually say "I understand why you're disappointed and I'm sorry that you're hurting. I would never do anything with intentions of hurting you. At that time we were broken up and I don't view a kiss when broken up as cheating, I'm sorry we don't see eye to eye on that" (notice, no "I'm sorry BUT...")

    I don't know what your intentions are with your friend. And I don't know what your intentions are really with Kyle. But it may not be such a bad idea, if you don't think you'll kiss or more with your friend, to tell Kyle that knowing now that he feels kissing is cheating, you won't do it again. Yes it may in a way be telling him that his being a d-bag is ok, but if you stick to your guns about letting your friend stay over, I think it shows that you are your own person and he can't control you, yet you respect how he feels. That's a big thing with me when I'm talking to guys... I explain to them that until we are in a committed relationship, they can't expect me to not go out with other guys, but I will remain respectful to them. And moooost guys are receptive to that. If they aren't, it shows me that they're too jealous for my liking.
  8. Account Closed
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    #8
    wow. I am so sorry he's acting this way. He may not even know what his real feelings are here. He sounds like he has a lot to deal with and you shouldn't have to feel burdened by his emotional failures. you did NOTHING wrong. I repear, absolutely nothing. Do not let him make you feel guilty in any way, shape, or form
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9


    Sorry K is being a meanie. Totally out of line. Just wanted to give you

  10. cuz i'm wonderful
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    #10
    Ugh, whatever. He needs to get his emotions in line and put on his big boy panties. He's all conflicted, so he's taking it out on you. Bullshit.

    If he wants you, he needs to treat you right, not this crack brained shit he's been cooking up lately. You did nothing wrong. He's not doing this right. He's got a good heart and all, but his confused emotional fog is not for you to put up with.



    P.S-Two people decide to be in a relationship, not one. He can't make a unilateral decree.
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