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Thread: Separated

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    #1

    Separated

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    DH & I have been separated for a month now. I moved back to California and hes in Illinois. We had been fighting, he was talking to another woman, and we have trust issues. Ive been going to counseling working out my issues, but all i want is to work things out with DH. He is getting assigned to a new duty station in about 4 months. I really want to move to the next duty station and give it another chance. I mean he is my Husband and I love him flaws and all. I never got proof that he was cheating on me... but i might be in denial and dont wanna see whats obvious. I want yall's opinions. Thanks .
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    I think if you are both committed 200% to working on your relationship, that things can be worked through. However, once you make the decision to work on things, you need to not bring up him cheating and toss it in his face. If you don't think you will be able to trust him again, don't bother, because it won't work.
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    #3
    I think you need to be a bit more specific about how it came to the seperation and you moving back to cali. Also what does your dh say about all this? About the cheating, about the seperation, about getting back together??
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Love733 View Post
    DH & I have been separated for a month now. I moved back to California and hes in Illinois. We had been fighting, he was talking to another woman, and we have trust issues. Ive been going to counseling working out my issues, but all i want is to work things out with DH. He is getting assigned to a new duty station in about 4 months. I really want to move to the next duty station and give it another chance. I mean he is my Husband and I love him flaws and all. I never got proof that he was cheating on me... but i might be in denial and dont wanna see whats obvious. I want yall's opinions. Thanks .
    If you and your DH want to put forth the effort to reconcile your marriage, then fight...fight for your marriage!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria View Post
    If you and your DH want to put forth the effort to reconcile your marriage, then fight...fight for your marriage!!!
    DH and I were separated for a month last summer and the situation was looking pretty hopeless. I had horrible trust issues and he had some committment issues. Here we are 6 months later, with a much better marriage. I'm not going to lie though, it takes a lot of hard work on both sides. Don't expect things to change overnight. Good luck and I really do hope that everything works out for you! If you need to talk or anything, feel free to PM me
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    #6
    How does your Dh feel about wanting you to go with him and wanting to keep trying?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria View Post
    If you and your DH want to put forth the effort to reconcile your marriage, then fight...fight for your marriage!!!
    I agree, 10000000%.

    DH & I have been married for 4 years - We struggled with a lot of things for 1.5-2 years, but I fought until I couldn't fight no more. I was about to reach my breaking point back in October, when things took a turn for the better. Here we are, 4 months later and doing better then we have in a while. I am so glad I stuck around and fought for my marriage.

    [And I realize 4 months isn't much, but when there's issues, it is a good step]
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    #8
    dont know what sort of advice to offer but sending out
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyStrong View Post
    I think you need to be a bit more specific about how it came to the seperation and you moving back to cali. Also what does your dh say about all this? About the cheating, about the seperation, about getting back together??
    Well for starters, I moved to great lakes in November. I got pregnant that month and he started A school. There was a lot of " stress" from school and me being pregnant..... So one night he tells me hes been talking to another woman. She is married as well, but i got wind that they were spending way too much time together. They are classmates so they had no choice but to see each other. I checked the phone bill and it said they were talking all day everyday and he was lying to me about it. I asked him to keep the friendship at school and focus on our family but he couldnt. I am no longer pregnant because of the events that have occurred and i hate it. When i left great lakes, he had not been coming home at night. he would stay at the barracks. I just had a mental breakdown and left. I drove my car across the country and now i am regretting it. He is saying we need to work things about before we talk about moving back in together. ... but i really want to be together to work things out. he is open to working on things... i just dont know how whole hearted he is.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Allyssa View Post
    I agree, 10000000%.

    DH & I have been married for 4 years - We struggled with a lot of things for 1.5-2 years, but I fought until I couldn't fight no more. I was about to reach my breaking point back in October, when things took a turn for the better. Here we are, 4 months later and doing better then we have in a while. I am so glad I stuck around and fought for my marriage.

    [And I realize 4 months isn't much, but when there's issues, it is a good step]
    What did you two do to get back on track? im seeing a therapist weekly and trying to get over my insecurities, the loss of our baby, and just loss of life i guess.
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