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Thread: is he serious?

  1. verabot89
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    #1

    is he serious?

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    So to recap:

    ExDB broke up with me because he couldn't handle the long distance, but basically was like I want to try this in future. We continued to talk on a regular basis, which was making it impossible for me to move on. I asked him to get back together, letting him know that I didn't need as much communication as he felt obligated to give, and he responded with "I just feel less and less for you every day. It's not that I like you less, or care less". Like, WTF does that even mean??? That's a contradiction if I ever heard one. I responded by telling him that was fine, but I couldn't keep my heart open to him and try for something in future, and I had to forget him completely.

    So please tell me why he is messaging me, bitching to me about the navy? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. You want someone to complain to? Call your freaking mother.

    He doesn't get to do this!!! He doesn't get to fly me out to San Diego, build me up with all this bullshit about how he's never felt this way before and how amazing I am and blah blah crap crap, then dump me, then knock me down a few notches, and then use me to whine to because he's not getting any sleep. BOO FUCKING HOO.

    I was so annoyed I just straight up asked him why he was talking to me, and he says "I dunno really". Then he says "I still want to talk to you, I just don't think us dating is a good idea right now". YES YOU'VE MADE THAT CLEAR. And then he has the audacity to patronize me and say "if it's easier for you, I can avoid talking to you". And while yes, it would be easier for me if he didn't talk to me, I was under no circumstances going to admit that to him. I embarrassed myself enough asking him to get back together. So of course I was like "meh it's fine, I was just curious".

    But seriously. If you want to talk to me, if you want me to be there for you, then be with me. If you don't want me, then leave me alone. And don't expect me to just be sitting here waiting for you to get back, so you can see me and have feelings for me again. Don't just use me for support when it's convenient for you.

    UGH and omg, my grandma just called out of the blue to tell me that him breaking up with me was mature and for the best. FML.
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by ahl389 View Post
    So to recap:

    ExDB broke up with me because he couldn't handle the long distance, but basically was like I want to try this in future. We continued to talk on a regular basis, which was making it impossible for me to move on. I asked him to get back together, letting him know that I didn't need as much communication as he felt obligated to give, and he responded with "I just feel less and less for you every day. It's not that I like you less, or care less". Like, WTF does that even mean??? That's a contradiction if I ever heard one. I responded by telling him that was fine, but I couldn't keep my heart open to him and try for something in future, and I had to forget him completely.

    So please tell me why he is messaging me, bitching to me about the navy? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. You want someone to complain to? Call your freaking mother.

    He doesn't get to do this!!! He doesn't get to fly me out to San Diego, build me up with all this bullshit about how he's never felt this way before and how amazing I am and blah blah crap crap, then dump me, then knock me down a few notches, and then use me to whine to because he's not getting any sleep. BOO FUCKING HOO.

    I was so annoyed I just straight up asked him why he was talking to me, and he says "I dunno really". Then he says "I still want to talk to you, I just don't think us dating is a good idea right now". YES YOU'VE MADE THAT CLEAR. And then he has the audacity to patronize me and say "if it's easier for you, I can avoid talking to you". And while yes, it would be easier for me if he didn't talk to me, I was under no circumstances going to admit that to him. I embarrassed myself enough asking him to get back together. So of course I was like "meh it's fine, I was just curious".

    But seriously. If you want to talk to me, if you want me to be there for you, then be with me. If you don't want me, then leave me alone. And don't expect me to just be sitting here waiting for you to get back, so you can see me and have feelings for me again. Don't just use me for support when it's convenient for you.

    UGH and omg, my grandma just called out of the blue to tell me that him breaking up with me was mature and for the best. FML.
    he's using you as a backup plan. He enjoys the attention, but doesn't like you back. I'm sorry to say it, but I know because I've done it.
  3. verabot89
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by dancerdixy View Post
    he's using you as a backup plan. He enjoys the attention, but doesn't like you back. I'm sorry to say it, but I know because I've done it.
    Ya I get that, hence my anger
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    #4
    Honestly, I would ask him to cease talking to you. I have been the one broken up with, and the guy didn't want to lose my support or friendship. They would throw lines out there like what yours said to you about not talking to you any longer so that he's in the clear about "not leading you on" and basically making it your fault that you're a glutton for punishment. And there have been times where they were bluffing, and were trying to gauge if the feelings were still there.

    Just tell him to cut you loose completely. I mean this sincerely when I say that it makes sense to me why you would want to still be there for him.
  5. Occasional lurker
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    #5
    You are a smart woman. I think its great that you are standing up for yourself and understand what is going on. Good ludkc!

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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    You are a smart woman. I think its great that you are standing up for yourself and understand what is going on. Good ludkc!
  7. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #7
    It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.

    I think it's time for you to stop leaving this up to him - you're telling him talk to me, don't talk to me, etc. Take control of your own situation and you just stop talking to him. It sounds like you know that's the best thing to do.
  8. cuz i'm wonderful
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    #8
    I wouldn't even make an announcement. I would just ignore him, no explanation necessary. You don't owe him anything. He doesn't get to have his cake and eat it too. You're just replenishing his cake supply by speaking to him at all. His patronizing "if that would be easier for you." is just manipulative.

    You're getting nothing out of this, and he's getting everything. Ignore him completely.
  9. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #9
    Block him, delete him from your phone and move on with your life. He doesn't deserve to have your time or attention. You have better things to do.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by oohrah_baby View Post
    I wouldn't even make an announcement. I would just ignore him, no explanation necessary. You don't owe him anything. He doesn't get to have his cake and eat it too. You're just replenishing his cake supply by speaking to him at all. His patronizing "if that would be easier for you." is just manipulative.

    You're getting nothing out of this, and he's getting everything. Ignore him completely.
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