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Thread: The Date...

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    #1

    The Date...

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    Okay so I posted a couple of days ago about possibly going on a date...and I went on the date last night! One word pretty much sums it up: AWKWARD!

    The guy was painfully awkward, shy, self concious, and had NO opinion on anything whatsoever. Nice guy, but not for me!

    All he would talk about are his insecurities! And, whenever I would ask him if he wanted to get something, he would say "Do YOU want to xxx!" At the end of the date, I said "Do you want to split the check?" and he said "Do YOU want to split the check?" So then I had to put my foot down. I told him that if he ever asks a girl, on a first date, to split the check, I can pretty much guarantee there wont be a second date. I almost felt like I was coaching him on what NOT to do the whole time. I dont know...maybe it will help him for his future dates, because there wont be a second one for us!

    Now....after the date. It made me miss exDB. We were just so carefree and it was easy with him. I've been pretty sad about the whole thing recently. He comes home next month and we are going to talk about 'us'. I'm pretty nervous/scared/exciting, etc about him coming home, but I'll FINALLY get the closure I need/tools to work on our future
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    #2
    Sorry your date was awkward but first dates often are. Yeah it's easy sometimes, it's just effortless with some people but others you have to work at...every relationship is different.



    But one question, why did you ask if he wanted to split the check if you told him to never as a girl to split the check on the first date?


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    It was kind of a test. I told him you never split the check with a girl AFTER I had asked him if he wanted to. I was just trying to give him dating advice because he realllllly needs it!
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by April Lynne View Post
    Sorry your date was awkward but first dates often are. Yeah it's easy sometimes, it's just effortless with some people but others you have to work at...every relationship is different.



    But one question, why did you ask if he wanted to split the check if you told him to never as a girl to split the check on the first date?
    I wondered the same thing

    Sorry it didn't go well
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by FadeIntoYou View Post
    It was kind of a test. I told him you never split the check with a girl AFTER I had asked him if he wanted to. I was just trying to give him dating advice because he realllllly needs it!
    I think it was kinda shady on your part. He may have actually took you for your word. ANd its not that far of a stretch to split a check on the first date.
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    #6
    Sorry to hear it was awkward. Consider it a practice date! I went out a couple times with a guy who was kinda like that... nice guy but the conversation just didn't flow. After the second date we didn't go out again.

    As for the splitting the check--if you asked HIM, I think that was kind of setting him up. Totally not the same as him asking you, but I don't think that the man should have to pay. Sure it's nice when he offers, but I wouldn't count a guy out just because he didn't pay for the check on the first date.
    Beth, Mama to Emmalee (12), Evan (9), and Ella (4 on May 7) (I really REALLY need to update my picture!)
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Frybread View Post
    I think it was kinda shady on your part. He may have actually took you for your word. ANd its not that far of a stretch to split a check on the first date.
    I agree. That was kinda mean of you, knowing he is already insecure. And why not split a check on the first date? The guy is not always supposed to pay, and it would not be a deciding factor to me on whether or not I was going to go on another date with him
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    Oh splitting the check was definitely NOT the deciding factor on whether we'd go out again, that's for sure. He was just very awkward the whole night.

    In my experience (and trust me, I have a lot of dating experience), if a guy asks ME to go to dinner with HIM, I assume he pays. I'm not the only one that thinks like this. I have many friends that agree.

    I admit, it probably was a little mean, but I was just seeing what he would say and trying to give him tips on what to do/what not to do on future dates because he definitely needs it! Maybe one day he'll thank me (and trust me, not just the whole bill thing)
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by FadeIntoYou View Post
    Oh splitting the check was definitely NOT the deciding factor on whether we'd go out again, that's for sure. He was just very awkward the whole night.

    In my experience (and trust me, I have a lot of dating experience), if a guy asks ME to go to dinner with HIM, I assume he pays. I'm not the only one that thinks like this. I have many friends that agree.

    I admit, it probably was a little mean, but I was just seeing what he would say and trying to give him tips on what to do/what not to do on future dates because he definitely needs it! Maybe one day he'll thank me (and trust me, not just the whole bill thing)

    You told him that if he asked about splitting a check on the first date, there is pretty much guarantee there won't be a second date. That's a pretty bold statement to make to someone, and I bet you a whole lot of girls don't feel the same way
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by FadeIntoYou View Post
    Oh splitting the check was definitely NOT the deciding factor on whether we'd go out again, that's for sure. He was just very awkward the whole night.

    In my experience (and trust me, I have a lot of dating experience), if a guy asks ME to go to dinner with HIM, I assume he pays. I'm not the only one that thinks like this. I have many friends that agree.

    I admit, it probably was a little mean, but I was just seeing what he would say and trying to give him tips on what to do/what not to do on future dates because he definitely needs it! Maybe one day he'll thank me (and trust me, not just the whole bill thing)
    I agree quite a few girls believe the guy should always pick up the check, there are also a lot of guys that believe they should too (My DB is a great example of that he'd be offended if I tried to pay for dinner) but not everyone feels that way.

    Did it ever occur to you that this guy may have thought that you were a little awkward and maybe a little too pushy or talkative? Just because the chemistry wasn't there on your part doesn't mean it was on his part. Some girls like guys who are little more quiet and also sometimes the first date isn't the BEST date to decide on that's why most people at least try out a second date.

    Just sayin' not trying to be rude.


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