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Thread: When a man can't face you with the truth

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    #1

    When a man can't face you with the truth

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    I was reading some of the threads on 'Life after Love' and I noticed that many of you are going through almost exactly what I am. Ex-DB is deployed, he called everyday telling me how it was the highlight of his day to hear my voice! Everyday he would tell me he loves me with all his heart & soul, he misses me just the same & can't wait to be together again, I am so perfect (haha) & treat him so well, that I am his true love...and on & on & on.

    We Skyped Saturday two weeks ago, among other things we talked about our trip to Italy we were planning when his deployment is over...the last thing he said to me was "I love you" and I have not heard from him since, except one IM (that I initiated) saying that he needs time and then he will give me whatever I want...that he can't talk to me now because he knows within 10 minutes I'll have him convinced that he's better off with me.

    First of all...better of with me than what? And secondly, I told him that I would never try to talk him into anything he doesn't want, that I am OK with him wanting to 'step back' but I feel he owes me the respect of an explanation. I did begin to notice a few strange actions on his part and he told me he was scared, but all in all it came out of the blue & I have NO clue whatsoever why he ended our relationship so abruptly and with such disrespect! NONE of it makes sense...I am OK with it being over because I don't want to be with a man that doesn't want to be with me, I simply want to know how his feelings could change so quickly & why he ended it (he actually never ended it, I had to figure it out) ... I just want 'closure' so I too can move on.

    So why is it men can't face us with the truth to allow us to move on? And why is it women have such a hard time moving on without closure? (I feel like Carrie from Sex and the City lol)

    "True love never deserts you"
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    #2


    The same kind of thing happened to me. Honestly, you will probably never get the answers your looking for. The only explanation i ever got was that feelings change. You have to bring closure to yourself, not expect it from him. Just try and move on, yes i know its going to still hurt for a while, but the hurt will go away.
    R.I.P. My Love, Everyone was supposed to come home together, I'm sorry you had to come home early
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    #3
    if your entire relationship was long distance, (doesn't sound like you spent anytime in person from your other threads) probably was in love with the idea of you, not necessarily you if that makes sense. people have different personas on the internet...




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    #4
    I think most boys would have their moms break up with their girlfriends if they could. I'm sorry that happened that way.

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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by waving_girl View Post
    I think most boys would have their moms break up with their girlfriends if they could. I'm sorry that happened that way.
    ...forreal! exDb stoped talking to me for 3 weeks....and got a 1/2 ass explanation on why it ended..
    So you say
    The present's just a pleasant
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whitney. View Post
    if your entire relationship was long distance, (doesn't sound like you spent anytime in person from your other threads) probably was in love with the idea of you, not necessarily you if that makes sense. people have different personas on the internet...
    Our entire relationship was LD, but we did spend time together...it was actually like a fairytale, so spontaneous, romantic and passionate so it's a great story to tell - up until he simply couldn't be respectful enough to actually face me with the truth. Whatever happens I wish him happiness and hope he wishes the same for me.

    This isn't my first LD relationship, so who knows maybe it's me that's afraid of commitment lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by azarmygf View Post


    The same kind of thing happened to me. Honestly, you will probably never get the answers your looking for. The only explanation i ever got was that feelings change. You have to bring closure to yourself, not expect it from him. Just try and move on, yes i know its going to still hurt for a while, but the hurt will go away.
    I am sorry you had to go through that, it appears to happen more than I ever thought. I know I will get closure one way or the other it would simply be nice to get it from him - I am a very understanding person & always see the best in everyone ... what I don't understand is why he would want to "burn his bridges" with me. One never knows what the future might bring!
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Whitney. View Post
    if your entire relationship was long distance, (doesn't sound like you spent anytime in person from your other threads) probably was in love with the idea of you, not necessarily you if that makes sense. people have different personas on the internet...
    Double Ring Proposal 10/5/2011 made Augusta my MSOS wifey
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by azarmygf View Post


    The same kind of thing happened to me. Honestly, you will probably never get the answers your looking for. The only explanation i ever got was that feelings change. You have to bring closure to yourself, not expect it from him. Just try and move on, yes i know its going to still hurt for a while, but the hurt will go away.
    i agree....maybe he realized you aren't what he wants in a mate in his life. Maybe there's someone else, and being deployed, he wants to go for that instead. Or he wants to be single, and not be held accountable to anyone, and live the life of a single man not bound by a relationship? What happens if he said that OP? Would you try to change his mind if his feelings did change? Or change yourself if its another person? I've known an ex b/f pull this with a g/f while in rescue swimmer school, and she wanted to know why....he wasn't comfortable at all voicing it, but one day after ten calls, he said he finally had enough, and disclosed that he finally came out of the closet, after years of denying it, he couldn't do it any more. She tried to convince him that A) she would deal with it, if only he stayed with her B) she could become what he wanted in the bedroom C) she would try to conform to what he wanted (I don't know how that would be possible, etc. He just wanted out and to be himself, but she just didn't want that. So idk, if he's telling you the truth, what more do you want? to me its like you need a valid reason and then once you get that reason, you'll try to argue your case to stay in the relationship when its apparent that he doesn't.
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    #10
    i'm going thru the same thing right now...but neither of us "broke up" but we assume we are because of what he did...i'm trying to find an exlanation for that. we can get thru this! lol my PM box is always open.
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