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Thread: Trying to keep my head up

  1. Afghanistan just so you know...you suck. That's all.
    Hoots's Avatar
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    #1

    Trying to keep my head up

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    So I guess I am just a bit bummed out for the past couple of days. Tomorrow would have been our one year anniversary and we had planned to make a big deal out of it. Just thinking of all of the things we were supposed to do and remembering all of the amazing times over the past year has me in tears.

    This break up has had a positive and negative effect on me.
    Positive side:
    It got me to get my head out of my butt and start doing things for myself and taking care of myself. Heck it even helped push me in the right direction with my future. It gave me that boost I needed to take care of what I wanted and what I needed to do to be okay...I'm even enlisted in the National Guard, leaving for basic training in June.

    Negative:
    I guess anyone going through a break up has a rough time with it. Before I met him I was a very guarded, very quiet girl who trusted no one..I dealt with everything internally and it lead me to some unhealthy behaviors...Then I met him and he changed my life..he gained my trust and he got me to open up. For the first time in my life I got so close to someone that I felt like he would never leave. My fear is that everyone will leave, I guess moving so much and having too many friends and family pass away has triggered that fear.
    Now the walls are back up, for the first couple of weeks after the breakup I pushed everyone away and wanted to deal with it internally. Just recently have I found myself being more open and being able to deal with things a lot better. I am not ready to date again nor do I want to any time soon.

    I am putting myself and the future I want to have first, because I have neglected to do so in the past.

    Anyways sorry for this long post, and sorry if it seems petty. I needed to just let this all out and write it down so I can look back on it and remind myself that I need to take care of myself and I cannot rely on anyone else to do that for me.

    Tomorrow is going to suck..

    Thank you so much for reading. every single one of you. You have all been amazing to me.

    Anyways... there are better things to read on here.

    Married my MSOS Wifey Fedface3266 9/24/10
  2. Regular Member
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    #2
    Keep your head up, chica.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3


    I am glad that you have been able to make positive things out of a sucky situation! I will be thinking about you and sending you in my mind tomorrow

  4. Senior Member
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    #4

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
  5. You are here.
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    You are here.
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    #5
    It will take time. As for the fears of abandonment, is there a therapist or counselor that you can talk to?
  6. Go Ducks!
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    #6

  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by BILYs_special View Post


    I am glad that you have been able to make positive things out of a sucky situation! I will be thinking about you and sending you in my mind tomorrow


    Double Ring Proposal 10/5/2011 made Augusta my MSOS wifey
    skp is my rockin' Cali pal
    No more ticker!!! Deployment #2 is over
  8. Afghanistan just so you know...you suck. That's all.
    Hoots's Avatar
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    #8
    thanks everyone You are great.

    Frybread: Yeah, I suppose I should look into counseling for that...I was hoping it was something I would grow out of, you know? But you are probably right and get that worked on soon.

    Married my MSOS Wifey Fedface3266 9/24/10
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  10. Senior Member
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    #10
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