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Thread: my DB broke up with me

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    #1

    Sad my DB broke up with me

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    My DB broke up with me... he said so many things that confuse me that I dont know what to make of it... I'm talking to him on Friday over skype but I dont know what to say!

    Everyone keeps asking me how I feel- I honestly dont know- which is weird because I've never not known how I feel! How odd! And its stressful!

    He said so many things I cant decipher- I seriously dont know what to think or do anymore!

    Below are some of the things he wrote-

    "The phone call didnt go the way I wanted. Not even close. Yes I had planned to call to end it. Yes thats the way it turned out, but I never wanted to end it - you always said breaking up was easy and staying together was hard - thats now how it was for me."

    " I do think its ironic though, that you effectively broke up with me twice, but because it was on your terms, you were happy to keep looking for resolution. But I guess we just arent as compatible as we both hoped and wanted, and in order to become so, we both have to give up too much of ourselves."

    I dont understand why he's so pissed that I accepted the breakup- if he didnt want it he should have said something! Arg. So confused.

    Everyone keeps telling me its all too hard why bother. This should be easy- we havent even been together a year! I dont know what the answer is anymore.
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    #2
    I haven't read it properly yet (or it just doesn't all make sense yet), but wanted to send you a little hug. I know that doesn't help much...

    He does sound a little mixed up.
    Have you got a good girl friend who can make you coffees while you sit there and try to figure it all out/take you out to get whammed/or whatever you feel you need?

    I remember your post about them zoning out or something whilst deployed thought your avatar was ironic as the guy did sound like a bit of a cookiemonster.
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    My blog: Life, Love, and Lesson Plans My Wedding Blog: Operation: Becoming Mrs. B

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    Quote Originally Posted by starysaturn View Post
    My DB broke up with me... he said so many things that confuse me that I dont know what to make of it... I'm talking to him on Friday over skype but I dont know what to say!

    Everyone keeps asking me how I feel- I honestly dont know- which is weird because I've never not known how I feel! How odd! And its stressful!

    He said so many things I cant decipher- I seriously dont know what to think or do anymore!

    Below are some of the things he wrote-

    "The phone call didnt go the way I wanted. Not even close. Yes I had planned to call to end it. Yes thats the way it turned out, but I never wanted to end it - you always said breaking up was easy and staying together was hard - thats now how it was for me."

    " I do think its ironic though, that you effectively broke up with me twice, but because it was on your terms, you were happy to keep looking for resolution. But I guess we just arent as compatible as we both hoped and wanted, and in order to become so, we both have to give up too much of ourselves."

    I dont understand why he's so pissed that I accepted the breakup- if he didnt want it he should have said something! Arg. So confused.

    Everyone keeps telling me its all too hard why bother. This should be easy- we havent even been together a year! I dont know what the answer is anymore.
    1st bold: He called to break up with you and that is what happened. BUT, he didn't want to ever break up and so he never planned on the call, until he did...

    2nd bold: He's butt hurt that you broke up with him twice before but were willing to resolve things because YOU were the one doing the breaking up. He seems to think you are selfish and is pissed off and tired of being the one to give all the time.

    Oh, there is a side of his hoping you'd fight for the relationship instead of agreeing to the break up.


    NOT saying he is right, just saying what I see from my decades of dealing with men (mostly man).



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Judi89 View Post
    1st bold: He called to break up with you and that is what happened. BUT, he didn't want to ever break up and so he never planned on the call, until he did...

    2nd bold: He's butt hurt that you broke up with him twice before but were willing to resolve things because YOU were the one doing the breaking up. He seems to think you are selfish and is pissed off and tired of being the one to give all the time.

    Oh, there is a side of his hoping you'd fight for the relationship instead of agreeing to the break up.


    NOT saying he is right, just saying what I see from my decades of dealing with men (mostly man).
    thats how i am reading it as well.
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  7. If it should, it will come around again.
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    #7
    Its ok OP I'm still dealing with a break up too! I think I understood what you meant but it does sound like he wants you to fight for this relationship...that will be up to you and if you can handle the distance. PM me if you wanna chat! Its rough...

    ps I'm really over the "just move on" from everyone! Its getting old...I'll move on when I wanna move on thank you!!
    So you say
    The present's just a pleasant
    Interruption to the past
  8. Deployments last only a few months, our love lasts forever
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    #8
    I think Mr F just needs a rocket up the bum to be honest!!

    I dont know what he meant by all the things he was saying but i think Judi may be right with all her (mostly male) wisdom..
    Just remember that guys (well most) suck at being able to express there emotions and im sure he's going through alot of stress at the moment.. This doesnt give him a free pass to be an a$$ but sometimes it explains things...


    I hope your skype chat goes well tomorrow whether you guys agree to leave it as is and move on or if you guys decide to give it another go and work on things.. Either way im here for a chat.... or cocktails!
    In fact i think cocktails are a must!!! <---- yes this is how i will dance after the cocktails!! Still game??


    DF: Telling you I love you just doesnt cut how I feel about you right now!
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    #9
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    #10
    He might just want to see if you'll fight for him... childish as it may be... that or his ego is a little "wtf" as a result of you being fine with him letting you go.

    be cool.
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