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Thread: Must be in the water...

  1. If it should, it will come around again.
    Rachie78's Avatar
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    #1

    Sad Must be in the water...

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    Well it happen to me too...no more DB...

    He called me tonight for 20 mins and basically said in the last week hes been thinking a lot and doesnt think he can handle being in a relationship while depolyed (well actually he KNOWS he cant handle being in a relationship)....

    He said that last week somone was messing around....was very distracted and by some God....he missed getting shot at

    so after his near death experiance...he decides he cant be distracted by me too...

    Then he said cant handle my letters.... (sorry...my life goes on here too! I cant write about happiness, and rainbows EVERY DAMN DAY!)...and cant separated the two (me and his depolyment)

    He asked that I not come to graduation (just pick up the week you took off work he told me) and he try to find some time to make it over to see me in everything he has to do from when he gets home to the time he leaves again (I had to tell his mom that I wont be coming long for the ride)

    He needs me off his radar....doesnt want to talk to me or see me, but will try and call me next week sometime...


    I feel:
    SO DUMB for believing everything
    WTF is wrong with me...why cant I seem to make a relationship work past four months...I'm I not enough??
    dumb
    dumb
    dumb
    I really cant wait for the "told you so" from everyone
    I dont want to believe its real because it didnt sound like him on the phone...it was NOT the DB I knew and love...I just dont get it

    We talked about marriage, our kids, ....shit one of our biggest fights was "can we raise our kids Jewish"

    I guess in all, I know I can say I gave it 110% and really did TRY! It just hard to think about starting all over again when you really thought you had something with someone. Its so hard to wrap my thoughts around that this depolyment is standing in the way of two people who truly care and love each enough for being together...

    I thought love was enough to stand the distance! I was ready...I was ok with everything! .....guess he was not....


    Please just spare me the "at least hes was brave enough to tell me comments"...I just wanted to get it out of my system...just please let me be sad for a while...please


    **Update**
    Today I'm ok, its taking everything in me not to break down in cry (I'm at work sadly)

    He never really did say "break up" last night on the phone, but said def. he cant do this, and a few mentions of a "breaK"....w/e that means. I e-mailed his mom last night tell them I wont be coming up with them to graduation and she said that they told him "not so great news last night" and maybe that had an effect on him...he never mention anything so I dont know what that means??

    I guess his mom already knew that he was planning this. I keep going back in my head, like what did I say wrong, what went wrong?

    Letters:, yea they werent that supportive at 1st...I'm not going to lie to you and say YAY! I so excited that will be apart for 3 years while your in Germany. I'm only human! Its going to take some getting use too you know...it was 1-2 letters of WTF...then I was ok with it...sorry DB (well ex-DB). Ive written other letters before and they never seemed to bug you??

    I feel a little better knowing that this is common among a lot of guys depolying..I know hes scared to death (of like dying while there...hes told me few rare times)...and for the life of me cant unstand why he wants to push me away too...wouldnt you want to hold on to a little comfort from home while so far away. Because when your alone, and no one knows...it doesnt seem to matter right?

    I want to blame myself for this. But then I'm mad at him for blaming me for the reason "hes messing up"....ever think that you have your own issues in your OWN head that may be preventing you from doing what you need to do!?!

    Idk...i think I'll write him a letter (but NOT going to send it), just to get it all out.... give it time, time can heal.....hopefully he'll miss me enough after a while and we can work through things...I just hope I still miss him too

    Thanks everyone for your support!! MUCH LOVE!
    Last edited by Rachie78; 11-14-2010 at 10:43 AM. Reason: Update
    So you say
    The present's just a pleasant
    Interruption to the past
  2. Senior Member
    cassadilla's Avatar
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    #2
    i'm so sorry
  3. I will bite your nipples!
    EastBound2011's Avatar
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    I will bite your nipples!
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    #3
    Sorry you're hurting
    God called...he wants his judgment back!!!

    Never allow someone else's limited vision to limit yours

    Don't cry to give up...cry to keep going



  4. If it should, it will come around again.
    Rachie78's Avatar
    Rachie78 is offline
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    #4
    thanks girls...we were so close to being able to see each other again...it just all kinda came out of the blue

    I thought he was stronger than that...
    So you say
    The present's just a pleasant
    Interruption to the past
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    I'm sorry hun, stay strong

    "You are platinum in a world gone grey."
  6. Senior Member
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    #6


    I know how you must be feeling sweetie, my husband did/felt the same thing last deployment, he just never told me. Stay strong, my inbox is always open if you need to talk
  7. Afghanistan just so you know...you suck. That's all.
    Hoots's Avatar
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    #7
    Oh hun, I am so sorry. It's heartbreaking for you...for that I truly am sorry. We are all here for you.

    Married my MSOS Wifey Fedface3266 9/24/10
  8. Regular Member
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    #8
    i am not going to say i know exactly what your going through but just this past week my boyfriend called me and told me that he didnt think our relationship would be able to work. if you want you can always message me.
  9. The Dude Abides
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    #9




    I'm so sorry for all the pain you're going through...
  10. Banned
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    #10
    Please don't blame yourself. You're much better than that. YOU are not HIS problem.
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