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Thread: Should I move on?

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    #1

    Should I move on?

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    Okay so anyone who has read my posts knows that DB and I are taking a break right now. He is deployed and everything was going great with us before the deployment and up until about 3 months in. Before he left and the first month or so he would tell me he loved me and being away from him made him realize how much he loves me and cares about me. Now, he is saying that he doesnt know if he has the same feelings for me and doesnt know if things will be the same between us. I'm heartbroken. I told him that I would wait for him to come home because I think our relationship is worth saving because I think we are perfect for each other. He told me that if waiting is what I think is best, then he would like that, but he doesnt want me to be more hurt if things dont work out the way we want them to when he comes home. I am sick of these feelings consuming me. I'm always wondering "What if he comes home and his feelings really are gone and it's not just this deployment?" What do I do? Should I move on and not risk even more heart break? I just dont know. I'm so confused and hurt right now. I'm sick of talking about this all the time and feeling hopeless. We still talk but not as often. I said we should take a break so he can sort out of feelings. I just dont know what to do. Should I stay and wait it out or move on? Ugh. This is like an emotional rollercoaster. Anyone have advice or been in this situation?
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    #2
    No advice.... but e hug I'm sorry If you need to talk I'm here!
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    #3
    Go with your gut feeling? If I was in that situation, I would take the time that he was on deployment and focus it on other areas of my life. Hard, I know. And then see what happens when he got home. I just wouldn't get your hopes up, ya know? Im sorry your having to deal with that :/

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    Taking a break is exactly that. Breaking the relationship and commitment. And thats fine.
    Yes, move on. Otherwise, its not a "break." It is "I will stay at home waiting desperately for you to make up your mind, and I will be here faithfully if you choose me."
    [a bit harsh and hyperbolic, but it gets the idea across.]
    Yes move on. If you find someone else, oh well, he had his chance. If you don't, and decide that he is still worth taking back, then go for it.
    Once he realizes that you are not sitting at home waiting for him, it may help him make up his mind, one way or the other.
    I am not saying jump into bed or a relationship with the next guy you meet.
    But I am saying get on with your life. Maybe he will run to catch up, and make it on time.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    Yes move on. If you find someone else, oh well, he had his chance. If you don't, and decide that he is still worth taking back, then go for it.Once he realizes that you are not sitting at home waiting for him, it may help him make up his mind, one way or the other. I am not saying jump into bed or a relationship with the next guy you meet. But I am saying get on with your life. Maybe he will run to catch up, and make it on time.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    Taking a break is exactly that. Breaking the relationship and commitment. And thats fine.
    Yes, move on. Otherwise, its not a "break." It is "I will stay at home waiting desperately for you to make up your mind, and I will be here faithfully if you choose me."
    [a bit harsh and hyperbolic, but it gets the idea across.]
    Yes move on. If you find someone else, oh well, he had his chance. If you don't, and decide that he is still worth taking back, then go for it.
    Once he realizes that you are not sitting at home waiting for him, it may help him make up his mind, one way or the other.
    I am not saying jump into bed or a relationship with the next guy you meet.
    But I am saying get on with your life. Maybe he will run to catch up, and make it on time.
    I don't think you need to try to find a new relationship, but I also don't think it would be a bad thing to go out, have fun and see what happens. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe you not waiting around is the kick in the butt he will need. OR it could be that you find the right one, and realize its not him. Lots and lots of

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    Taking a break is exactly that. Breaking the relationship and commitment. And thats fine.
    Yes, move on. Otherwise, its not a "break." It is "I will stay at home waiting desperately for you to make up your mind, and I will be here faithfully if you choose me."
    [a bit harsh and hyperbolic, but it gets the idea across.]
    Yes move on. If you find someone else, oh well, he had his chance. If you don't, and decide that he is still worth taking back, then go for it.
    Once he realizes that you are not sitting at home waiting for him, it may help him make up his mind, one way or the other.
    I am not saying jump into bed or a relationship with the next guy you meet.
    But I am saying get on with your life. Maybe he will run to catch up, and make it on time.



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    I would say let it roll. Take it day by day and stop trying to make a decision one way or another. He's deployed right now anyway, so why come up with an immediate plan? It will be different when he comes home regardless, so I would suggest not making any major decisions for a while. See how it goes and it will all become clear, but don't force it.
    The task ahead is never as great as the power behind us.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    Taking a break is exactly that. Breaking the relationship and commitment. And thats fine.
    Yes, move on. Otherwise, its not a "break." It is "I will stay at home waiting desperately for you to make up your mind, and I will be here faithfully if you choose me."
    [a bit harsh and hyperbolic, but it gets the idea across.]
    Yes move on. If you find someone else, oh well, he had his chance. If you don't, and decide that he is still worth taking back, then go for it.
    Once he realizes that you are not sitting at home waiting for him, it may help him make up his mind, one way or the other.
    I am not saying jump into bed or a relationship with the next guy you meet.
    But I am saying get on with your life. Maybe he will run to catch up, and make it on time.
    This! sorry you're going through a hard time. I'm always here if you need to talk!


  10. Anyway...
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    Taking a break is exactly that. Breaking the relationship and commitment. And thats fine.
    Yes, move on. Otherwise, its not a "break." It is "I will stay at home waiting desperately for you to make up your mind, and I will be here faithfully if you choose me."
    [a bit harsh and hyperbolic, but it gets the idea across.]
    Yes move on. If you find someone else, oh well, he had his chance. If you don't, and decide that he is still worth taking back, then go for it.
    Once he realizes that you are not sitting at home waiting for him, it may help him make up his mind, one way or the other.
    I am not saying jump into bed or a relationship with the next guy you meet.
    But I am saying get on with your life. Maybe he will run to catch up, and make it on time.
    I agree with this.
    Sometimes distance and being away from someone changes the way they feel. Distance doesnt always make the heart grow fonder. Dont sit around waiting for him if he doesnt know what he wants. You may end up becoming bitter or resentfull when he does come home, and says he still doesnt want to be with you.


    Arianna Marie
    12/20/10
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