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Thread: Finally Coming Clean

  1. Regular Member
    MissMeggers's Avatar
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    Apr 2010
    Me: Michigan

    Finally Coming Clean

    It has been a long while since I last posted. I avoided the site for many months because I felt like I no longer belonged and had the right to post my comments and supply advice since I was no longer a military girlfriend. Ya thats right. I am finally able to say it. I am sitting here trying to figure out how many months we have been broken up and I cannot seem to be able to pull out a number. I have come a long way since that awful day. This is the part in my story where the reflection music would kick on and my memory would have that clouded effect at the edges Well anyway, my exDB and I were fine, more than fine I thought. He was professing his unconditional love for me and talking of plans of our future. While I was organizing my passport and googling wedding dresses. On a side note, I have been modeling on and off for the past few years. I absolutely love it. Well, one evening I was supposed to do a small fashion show in my community. While I was getting ready for the show I was talking to him. Quickly catching up and sharing every blissfully nervous emotion I was feeling at the time. Now, for those of you who do not know me and have not read some of my past posts my exDB was a bit of a ladies man. It just so happened that on that night of all nights I checked my email and there sat an email from a girl with his name in the subject box. My heart pretty much sank when I read what she had to say. In short it went something like this: "A and I have been dating for 8 months and he just broke up with me an hour ago. I thought you should know..." After I had collected myself I asked him about her and if what she said was true. He did not deny her accusation, instead he confirmed it. I told him I did not know if I could deal with this. To which he responded, "I understand" I understand?!?! That is all I get? That is all I am worth? He later told me that he did not know how to end the relationship with the other girl without ruining a friendship. One which he apparently was not willing to part with. You cannot force a person to be your friend. Especially after you have had a romantic relationship with them. And you cannot keep participating in said relationship just to avoid losing a friend! Which is exactly what I told him. After this blow out and many skeletons once again made themselves known to me, I did not talk or respond to him for 3 days. I needed space, I needed time, I needed a clear head.... I needed help! On the third day he called me from overseas, which is not easy or cheap as many of you already know. We talked and I agreed to give him another chance. But my trust had already been damaged, possibly beyond repair. So why did it take for things to get even worse to realized and accepted this? Two weekends later he told me that he was going to visit an exchange student that went to his school. Okay. For the whole weekend. Okay.. Who happened to be a girl. Okay... And we wouldnt be able to communicate for the entire weekend. Yea that did not go very well for me. Since I was basically creating every suspicion under the sun due to the insecurities that he created. When he got back I was convinced that he had broken more relationship no no's and that he couldnt possibly love me because why would you betray someone the way he had if you loved them It ended that day and he did not chase after me he wasnt the type. So I spent the next week or so depressed and extremely sad blaming myself for his mistakes and claiming them as my own. When I did talk to him again it only go worse. To make a long story short I ended up begging him to take me back! He said "no" of course and then proceeded to call me every degragitory word in the book and rip away my self worth like it was christmas wrapping paper. I went through stages of depression and sadness. Then I was determined to get him back. And when that did not work I set out at showing him what he was missing by making it painfully obvious everything I was up to. None of it worked so as the months creeped on I put my self back together. Slowly taking back the pieces of myself that he had stripped and crushed. Until one day I finally had the courage to delete him from all technology. In the following days I visited the park where we shared our first date and wrote him a farewell letter. More for my benefit than for his. However, sending it provided the closure that I needed. At the time this was happening I wanted very much to post it and talk about it with all of you ladies. But I was ashamed and I did not want to hear what you had to say because I was not ready to face the truth. I saw the failure of that relationship as a personal failure. Posting it would be acknowledging that it was really over between him and I...... It has been months and I am glad to report that I am doing well. I have dated a small handful of men since then. Sadly, none that have been keepers in my book I do not really dwell on my exDB nor do I think of him often. He is the past and I prefer that he stay in my past since that is where he belongs. He never deserved me and now I realize that. I am sorry that my post has turned into a bit of novel But I wanted to share my "journey" with all of you. And FINALLY be honest with myself. Somehow putting this story out there in the world and sharing my horrible experience is like the completion of a circle or something Thank you for all "listening" until next time... byee
  2. Senior Member
    HisGirl2010's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
    It might help to use paragraphs, I can't read a huge block of text like that.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    me: indiana him: north carolina
    Quote Originally Posted by HisGirl2010 View Post
    It might help to use paragraphs, I can't read a huge block of text like that.
    that was REALLY hard to read, but I think I got the jist...

    thats awesome glad you got closure....
  4. Today was a Fairytale
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    Quote Originally Posted by HisGirl2010 View Post
    It might help to use paragraphs, I can't read a huge block of text like that.

    I am glad you found that closure also, and good luck in the future!

    IMO, your ex was playing you big time so you are better off without him.
  5. Senior Member
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    Me: Scotland, UK Him: Ulsan, S.Korea
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    I'm so glad you found closure and can get on with your life. You shouldn't see his mistakes as your failures; some things in life we just have no control over and we don't see them coming. all the best for the future and good luck finding a "keeper"

    "You are platinum in a world gone grey."
  6. Banned
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    It's such a hard thing. I am glad you are coming to terms with it. It took me a long time too with my ex Dh. I did everything to try to get him back. I am happy to say...(even though we are in a fight right now) I am with a great man...My dh now is the best!!
  7. Senior Member
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    Okinawa, Japan
    Quote Originally Posted by Violette View Post
    I'm so glad you found closure and can get on with your life. You shouldn't see his mistakes as your failures; some things in life we just have no control over and we don't see them coming. all the best for the future and good luck finding a "keeper"

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!
  8. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    I'm very sorry that you went through all that but it sounds like you have come through this stronger and more determined to find the right person. Hang in there, I promise, he will come along when you least expect it.

    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  9. I love Mikey!!
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    Good for you
  10. La vie boheme
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    I'm glad you came back and know that there are plenty of single ladies on here. Also, I think it's fantastic that you realize you deserve better and you are doing good.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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