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Thread: I Don't Know How.

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    I Don't Know How.

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    DH told me tonight that he doesn't want to be married. It's not me, he just...wants to be alone and not married to anyone. I really thought we were doing fine. We seemed to be working through every issue that we had. It seemed like things were going so well, and he just doesn't want me anymore. I just feel like every single plan I had for the future is gone. I don't really know what else to say. I mean, he's being as much of a gentleman about it as he can, and I obviously appreciate that. He says that he still cares about me and everything, he just doesn't want to be attached to anyone anymore. He doesn't want kids anymore. And, he's just...changed too much to give me the kind of life I want. And. He even said he still wants to take care of me. But. I just...don't understand.

    And, like. We were going to take a trip across the country not this summer, but next, and...we had a future together. And, all of my plans revolved around that future. And I don't have anyone to lean on for support other than him, so I don't know how to make it. Sometimes I can count on my family, but...they're currently going through their own problems.

    And, I have to make it through today spending time with my family trying to pretend everything is okay...and I found out something about my mom Friday night that makes me upset with her, so it was going to be a rough day anyways.

    I just feel like my head is going to implode. Or explode. I'm not really sure which. But every day it seems like something new that is rather mind blowing happens. If the universe could just spread bad news out over the course of the year, I would really appreciate it. It just seems like whenever something bad happens...lots of bad things happen all at the same time. I would appreciate having time to swallow one thing before being faced another challenge.

    Sorry if I don't make sense, or...I don't even know what else, but I'm sorry for it now.
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    #2
    im sorry hun
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    #3
    Im so sorry hun. Will he even consider counseling first to find out why he suddenly feels this way??
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Kat1983 View Post
    Im so sorry hun. Will he even consider counseling first to find out why he suddenly feels this way??
    We already did counseling. Which is part of the reason I'm so confused. It went really well. We started communicating better and I started giving him more space and...it just seemed to be working. But. Tonight he said he just wants to be alone. Like, he wants to come home from work Monday through Friday, and just veg out until it's time for bed. And just...have no obligations of any kind to anyone else.

    IT caught me completely off guard. I mean. We've been taking dance lessons, and he seemed to enjoy it. And. I try to make sure that he gets space. And, I have even been the one to be like "hey, we don't have anything we're supposed to be doing now, do you want to have some alone time?" And. I've made a lot of changes, and I feel like it has been for naught.

    He started going to individual counseling, though he's only really had one session of that...maybe that will make some sort of difference.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Chandalier View Post
    We already did counseling. Which is part of the reason I'm so confused. It went really well. We started communicating better and I started giving him more space and...it just seemed to be working. But. Tonight he said he just wants to be alone. Like, he wants to come home from work Monday through Friday, and just veg out until it's time for bed. And just...have no obligations of any kind to anyone else.

    IT caught me completely off guard. I mean. We've been taking dance lessons, and he seemed to enjoy it. And. I try to make sure that he gets space. And, I have even been the one to be like "hey, we don't have anything we're supposed to be doing now, do you want to have some alone time?" And. I've made a lot of changes, and I feel like it has been for naught.

    He started going to individual counseling, though he's only really had one session of that...maybe that will make some sort of difference.
    I really hope that works. Ill be sending many prayers your way!
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    #6
    I really hope you guys work things out. I'm sorry about everything. Stay strong.
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    #7
    I'm so sorry girl!! I hope that whatever happens, it all works out for the best.



    I'm Baaaaaaaack
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    #8
    Wow.... Im really sorry =(... I hope this therapy helps him out some. It may just be something stuck in his mind at the moment. Your pretty much being amazing by giving him a lot of space and even offering it. Dont feel like your faking today. Just think of it that your husband feels lost. He may surprise you and find his way around.....
  9. Feelin' fly like a Cheesestick
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    #9
    I'm so sorry. It seems that this is not all that unusual (husbands deciding they simply don't want to be married anymore when things seem to be going okay) from what I've been reading on MSOS lately.

    Divorce is never "easy" but you'll get through it and you'll be okay in the end. I remember when my divorce was on the horizon... I was terrified, but in the end, it all worked out for the better.

    You'll be in my thoughts.
    Beth, Mama to Emmalee (12), Evan (9), and Ella (4 on May 7) (I really REALLY need to update my picture!)
  10. Don't stop believing <3
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    #10
    I'm so sorry hun
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