Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: seperation/ divorce help

  1. Old Newbie
    marinewife0311's Avatar
    marinewife0311 is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Camp Lejeune
    Posts
    27
    #1

    seperation/ divorce help

    Advertisements
    Im trying to help my friend, her husband just left one night he was drunk after they had a fight over nothing and only came back to the house when she was at work to get gear he needed or a few outfits. Also he left his wedding band on the table. He wouldnt return her calls or have any contact with her for 3 weeks except a text that said leave me alone im not happy and havent been for a long time all you need to worry about is having your shit outa the apartment by wed cuz im breaking the lease and your phone will be shut off on the 3rd youll be receiving papers in the mail. She called left messages begging to do councling anything to try to work on their marraige, but he wouldnt call her back. They' ve been married for a little over 2 years. He wouldnt talk to her so she called the FRO and asked her what she should do and told her he hasnt been home and she doesnt know where he is or if hes ok. So then he finally called her and yelled at her for doing that because his command talked to him about it. She paid the rent out of his account like every month and he called and yelled at her for that. He finally brought her separation papers and wanted her to sign them without her having someone look at them and she said no. she begged him to try to work things out or atleast tell her why and his friend kept saying just tell her the truth just tell her the truth which makes us think he has a girlfriend, but theres no way of knowing or finding out. She doesnt want to tell them that he has been physical with her and she thinks he has a girlfriend because she loves him and wants him not to hate her. She wants more than anything to work things out but he wont even tell her why hes doing this. She has no money to get a lawyer and she doesnt want to sign the papers without having someone look at them so she called the legal office at base but they said they cant help her because they are representing him and to call the other base near by. Shes been calling but keeps getting the run around and a number that no one answers and you cant even leave a message. If theres any information or advice that you have it would help. thanks
  2. Waiting Around
    Mac N Cheese's Avatar
    Mac N Cheese is offline
    Waiting Around
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    26,420
    Blog Entries
    1
    #2
    First off for her.
    Second bases don't represent anyone in divorces. So she needs to call a real lawyer.
    Also He has to provide her a place to live and can't kick her out till they are married. Military does not reconize seperations at all.
    Raelly she just needs to find a lawyer. She needs to call up ones and ask about payment plans and what she can do since he doesn't want to be civil and just do an online divorce. (which yes you can do)
    ❤️❤️❤️
    Follow Rylee's progress

  3. I'm an enlisted 6-star General, Air Coast Force Guard
    Sally's Avatar
    Sally is offline
    I'm an enlisted 6-star General, Air Coast Force Guard
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    South Korea, Osan AB
    Posts
    19,380
    Blog Entries
    17
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by marinewife0311 View Post
    Im trying to help my friend.

    Her husband just left one night; he was drunk after they had a fight over nothing, and only came back to the house when she was at work - to get gear he needed or a few outfits. Also he left his wedding band on the table.

    He wouldnt return her calls or have any contact with her for 3 weeks except a text that said "leave me alone. I'm not happy and haven't been for a long time. All you need to worry about is having your shit outa the apartment by wed cuz im breaking the lease and your phone will be shut off on the 3rd. You'll be receiving papers in the mail."

    She called, left messages begging to do councling, anything to try to work on their marraige, but he wouldnt call her back.

    They've been married for a little over 2 years. He wouldn't talk to her so she called the FRO and asked her what she should do and told her (the FRO) he hasn't been home and she doesn't know where he is or if he's ok.

    So then he finally called her and yelled at her for doing that because his command talked to him about it.

    She paid the rent out of his account like every month and he called and yelled at her for that.

    He finally brought her separation papers and wanted her to sign them without her having someone look at them and she said no.

    She begged him to try to work things out or at least tell her why, and his friend kept saying "just tell her the truth, just tell her the truth" which makes us think he has a girlfriend, but there's no way of knowing or finding out.

    She doesn't want to tell them that he has been physical with her and she thinks he has a girlfriend because she loves him and wants him not to hate her.

    She wants more than anything to work things out but he wont even tell her why hes doing this.

    She has no money to get a lawyer and she doesn't want to sign the papers without having someone look at them. So, she called the legal office at base but they said they can't help her because they are representing him and to call the other base near by.

    Shes been calling but keeps getting the run around and a number that no one answers and you cant even leave a message. If theres any information or advice that you have it would help. thanks
    I had to clear up the wall of text a bit so that I could understand it; I hope that's okay.

    So, the guy has been physically violent to her (how severe?), it appears he has a girlfriend, and he's being verbally abusive now. He won't talk to her, won't agree to work on the marriage, and wants nothing to do with her.

    Your friend needs to get a lawyer - I know you said no money, but she can contact Legal Aid in her town. She must not sign anything without having an attorney look over it.

    She can't force this idiot to love her and it's obvious he has no interest. She also needs to have enough love and respect for herself - no one needs to be with a man who is physically and verbally abusive.
  4. Senior Member
    Judi89's Avatar
    Judi89 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    30,839
    #4
    to her. Sally's advice is spot on. I think there must be more to the story, but that's okay, the steps she needs to take are the same. Legal aid and get the ball rolling.



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
  5. Senior Member
    Reeses*Pieces's Avatar
    Reeses*Pieces is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,984
    #5
    Sallys right. (And thanks for clearing it up a little there Sal!) Good luck to your friend! I'm just curious... how was their marriage before all this went down anyway?
  6. Old Newbie
    marinewife0311's Avatar
    marinewife0311 is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Camp Lejeune
    Posts
    27
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by mmc View Post
    Sallys right. (And thanks for clearing it up a little there Sal!) Good luck to your friend! I'm just curious... how was their marriage before all this went down anyway?
    It was great at christmas when they went home they started looking around and deciding where they want to live because hes getting out in a little over a year. They were planning to have a baby. I went out to eat with them right before all this happened and he was talking about having a baby. He was so excited. Thats why she doesnt understand why he did this and wont even tell her why he wants a divorce.
  7. You are here.
    Frybread's Avatar
    Frybread is offline
    You are here.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    23,977
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Songtan Sally View Post
    I had to clear up the wall of text a bit so that I could understand it; I hope that's okay.

    So, the guy has been physically violent to her (how severe?), it appears he has a girlfriend, and he's being verbally abusive now. He won't talk to her, won't agree to work on the marriage, and wants nothing to do with her.

    Your friend needs to get a lawyer - I know you said no money, but she can contact Legal Aid in her town. She must not sign anything without having an attorney look over it.

    She can't force this idiot to love her and it's obvious he has no interest. She also needs to have enough love and respect for herself - no one needs to be with a man who is physically and verbally abusive.
    I agree with Sally. She needs to get to legal aid or a lawyer somehow. But yeah, sounds like he has totally moved on, and this is the step where she has no choice but to respect his choice and move on with her life, and file for divorce. I bet after this month, he'll totally remove off the joint account and she won't have any way of touching his income after this.

    As to why he changed so much, he may have been putting on a show. I know some guys who are great at acting like the model husband around friends and family, but were absolute terrors at home alone with their wives.
  8. Gained a child but lost my sanity!
    princessgwynn's Avatar
    princessgwynn is offline
    Gained a child but lost my sanity!
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Somewhere I would rather not be :(
    Posts
    11,424
    #8
    Please tell her to get a lawyer and, not to sound mean but, get a grip. This sounds so much like how my first marriage ended that I had to reread what you said three times. I didn't have a lawyer because I 'still loved him & didn't want him to be mad at me' and I got totally screwed. If he is acting in this manner I would bet more money than I have that there is another woman in his life and she needs to get out with everything she can.
  9. Old Newbie
    muddyboots's Avatar
    muddyboots is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    23
    #9
    Try having that happen after 19 years and three kids. At least she is getting out early enough that she can have some life left after.
  10. Senior Member
    lacy+chk's Avatar
    lacy+chk is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Tree Frog: WI/Moo Cow: MCB Quantico
    Posts
    9,749
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    I had to clear up the wall of text a bit so that I could understand it; I hope that's okay.

    So, the guy has been physically violent to her (how severe?), it appears he has a girlfriend, and he's being verbally abusive now. He won't talk to her, won't agree to work on the marriage, and wants nothing to do with her.

    Your friend needs to get a lawyer - I know you said no money, but she can contact Legal Aid in her town. She must not sign anything without having an attorney look over it.

    She can't force this idiot to love her and it's obvious he has no interest. She also needs to have enough love and respect for herself - no one needs to be with a man who is physically and verbally abusive.
    to your friend.... with the above.

    "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" ~ Psalm 27:1
    Quote Originally Posted by MamaStrong View Post
    at first I was like , then I was like when I saw how messed up the page it looked so then I was like *click*, *enter*, *click*, *enter*,
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •