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Thread: Divorce question?

  1. The Champion Lurker is Flyin' Solo.
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    #1

    Divorce question?

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    So I've signed the papers but they can't be filed yet because it hasn't been long enough.

    My question is now, after finding out some pretty intense information, is there anything I can do as far as making him do something to help me?

    I whole heartedly believe he married me solely so he could live off base, and not be alone in KY... He left me literally 3 days after he was discharged.

    So now, I'm going to have 12k in student loans, considering I didn't qualify for aid because I was married.

    I just have no idea... Does anyone know anything I could do? I don't feel like he should be able to just get by with no consequences.. Unfortunately I believed his bullshit once again long enough to just sign the papers.
    Last edited by samooontha; 01-24-2010 at 10:22 PM. Reason: typo
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    #2
    Wow Im sorry.

    I don't have any advice. I hope someone on here does. My only thing would to consult a lawyer. Most of them at least offer a free consultation. But other than that I don't know. good luck
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    #3
    Get a lawyer...end of story. You don't need to be taken advantage of and hiring a lawyer will put him in his place.
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    #4
    Alright, I know that's pretty obvious I just was wondering if it would even be an option considering I already signed. Ugh.
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    Only a lawyer can tell you if you have any options since you already signed. I know I have heard of others who signed for an uncontested divorce, changed their minds and were able to have a contested divoce instead.

    I would try to get a good lawyer and see what they can do to help you.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by samooontha View Post
    Alright, I know that's pretty obvious I just was wondering if it would even be an option considering I already signed. Ugh.
    Consulting a lawyer is ALWAYS an option. At least they can give you a definite yes or no answer and what your options are. But you have NOTHING to lose by talking to one.
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    #7
    there are different parts to a divorce.
    The first is the legal divorce. That can be with no contest/agreement needed.
    The rest have to do with division of debts and assets, and maintainance (alimony)
    Children are seperate issue.
    Even with the papers signed and filed, there is always a way to go after assets.
    Talk to a lawyer.
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    #8
    Thanks everyone.
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    #9
    1. Finalizing a divorce is just that...better make sure you've figured out the asset division and everything PRIOR to paperwork being filed (honestly, I've never heard of a "different parts" of a divorce-and I was a family law attorney lol). A judge will almost *always* require a stipulated statement concerning division of assets, or make the division himself if contested, in his order. The stipulated statement can consist of something as simple as "parties have agreed to keep all respective premarital property, and there is no marital property subject to division." That basically means, you're SOL if he said you could have the car, but it's in his possession when that paper is signed (which is why 9 times out of 10 people file a statement regarding division of assets with a stipulated agreement).

    2. You can actually waive the waiting period in almost all states; I'm assuming an attorney didn't help you, or JAG didn't provide you with the waiver? Let's just call that a happy twist of fate, because otherwise it would be VERY difficult to "open" the divorce back up (i.e. ask the court to take another look at division of assets/money/spousal support issues). It's *much* easier to get the court to look at child support and child custody issues post divorce (actually, it doesn't take much to get them to look at it again, compared to asset and spousal support issues).

    SO, what does this mean for you? If you have the papers that aren't filed yet, that is a good thing. Don't file them. If he has the papers, make sure you're paying attention to *when* he can file them (i.e. when the waiting period is up...usually between 30 and 90 days from separation). I'm a bit confused, because in the states where I've practiced, you can *file* papers, but the divorce cannot be finalized/judge won't issue an order for the waiting period. Are you sure the papers haven't been filed and just not finalized?

    Either way, I would immediately seek the assistance of counsel (an attorney) in your state. If your SO has not enlisted the help of JAG then you can; it's such a ridiculous system, it's a race to the JAG office oftentimes between the soldier and the spouse. (please, no flaming here but...) I have oftentimes found the JAG office worthless. JAG officers oftentimes are not the most competent attorneys in the world, and I don't think most of them could give a damn about their clients...JAG officers get no discretion over what "clients" they take, so they end up not being much different that a checker at walmart (no offense to either JAGs who take their job seriously, or anyone who is employed by walmart...lol).

    A lot of people think, omg, there's no way I can afford an attorney! He/She has all the money, all the access to the bank accounts! Well, guess what, a good attorney, yes, will probably require you to come up with a retainer (beg, borrow from fam, etc...) Or, here's a hint, after papers are filed, the parties aren't allowed to spend money from the accounts on anything besides bills AND LEGAL FEES....what does this mean? If you live in a community property state-his paycheck IS your paycheck, or you deposited money into the account at some point in time, you are just as entitled to withdraw money from that account to pay an attorney's retainer. Alternatively, attorneys can often get the court to issue temporary orders (orders in effect while the case is pending) for one spouse to pay the other spouse's legal fees and/or the majority of the bills (especially if there is a big discrepancy in wages, or one spouse can't work or is going to school).

    Where are you located? You may have said, but I can't remember. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions about hiring counsel.

    **Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is intended as legal advice; you should not rely on statements made. This post DOES NOT create an attorney client relationship. Each state has different laws, and I am likely not licensed to practice law in your state. My advice is always to go consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction. A good place to start is to contact your state's bar association; oftentimes there are attorneys who offer a discounted fee schedule for military.**

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