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Thread: Hurts so much. Kinda long but if anyone has the heart to read-- appreciate it.

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    Sad Hurts so much. Kinda long but if anyone has the heart to read-- appreciate it.

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    Guess I belong here now. I was with him before he left for basic. Wrote religiously... daily. Got out and went to AIT... I flew to visit him and spend time there. Things were amazing. He comes home for Thanksgiving and he's only home 48 hrs... the day we were supposed to hang out he has family drama and blows me off with no explanation. Later apologizes saying he was acting out of character being inconsiderate and promised the next visit home in 2 weeks (Christmas) would be different. I don't give second chances but I said.. it's 2 weeks of my life... give that chance to see if you are proven wrong.

    The weeks between the trips, he had been stepping up. Reaching out to me first more often... really seeming to make effort. He came home for Christmas and reached out to me to make plans. I was mildly optimistic that maybe I had been proven wrong. The first part of the trip went well. We only had a couple days last week we were both available due to the holidays, so we hung out BOTH those days. I hung out with his family, met a good friend of his.. spent both whole days together. We kept in full communication the rest of that week, then Saturday we talked off and on all day. At night, he texted me saying maybe he could drive down to me and stay til monday. I said thatd totally be awesome and wed work out details the next day. He said his sweet goodnights to me.. all is well.

    Then sunday.. I reach out to confirm plans. No response. I end up calling ... no answer. I leave a solid 1-2 hrs between calls because I want to give him time to respond. NOTHING. I got worried that something happened.. gave benefit of the doubt. My voicemails didnt say "WHY ARE U IGNORING ME?" or "WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT!" nothing selfish. Solely... "Hey its really unusual not to have heard back. Im worried about you. Hope all is okay... please call me back when u get this."

    He's notorious for 1) not keeping his phone on him and 2) randomly disappearing. He's self proclaimed UNRELIABLE and when he gets in weird moods he disappears. He always comes around though.

    Monday morning i hadnt heard anything. I called his house only to have his dad tell me he just left to go hang out at his brothers house. No family emergency. No nothing. He was home to get my messages and blatantly ignored me. Knowing I only had Sun, Mon, and Tues to hang out before he went back to AIT. I tried calling his cell again.. no answer. No call back. So as much as I hated to do it via that medium, I emailed him telling him I couldn't do it anymore and why. I'd love to have done it in person or on the phone... but he didn't give me that option. I left one last voicemail telling him I couldn't do it anymore and wished him the best and told him the email would explain it. I could have continued to call and try to reach him and look like a complete psycho.. but what would I have accomplished? Him thinking.. "wow i dodged a bullet." At least I have some dignity.

    That was yesterday at 5pm and I've heard nothing. It hurts so badly that I could put my heart and soul into this... the 48 hours ago things would seem just fine and he would be making initiative to hang out with me... then blatantly ignore me and not even acknowledge my email/phone calls.

    I want to believe there's someone out there that will value what I have to offer. I want to believe I shouldn't feel BAD for wanting to hear from and see my boyfriend. I shouldn't feel bad that I don't think I deserve to be ignored and I should be a priority. But all I feel is awful and hurt. I ended it but I have no closure and he's just fine.

    Sorry.. had to get that out.
    "Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."


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    #2
    I am so sorry sweetie. I really feel for you. I know how much it hurts when you try to give someone a chance and they let you down like that and then don't even have the decency to be a man about it. Trust me there are a lot of great men out there. I used to have the worst luck with men and I was pretty much ready to give up, but now i have an awesome man who treats me with love and respect and is always there for me. I'm sure there is someone like that out there for you as well. Everything happens for a reason so just hang in there and know that you have made room for the right man to come into your life. I really hope that you feel better.
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    #3
    im sorry hun. it sounds like he just isn't ready to be as fully dedicated and committed as you. It's also a lot harder for some people to be in a long distance relationship. You followed your heart and instincts. You're strong!
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  4. Rei
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    #4
    I'm actually really amazed at your strength to let go of something that wasn't good for you. A lot of people say they don't give second chances, then give about fifty-three chances. Everything will get better, I promise.




  5. Hulksmash!
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    #5
    Well a total jerk! I am so sorry he has been blowing you off. You definitely don't need that. Keep your head up. The right man just hasn't walked into your life yet.


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    #6
    im so sorry!
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    #7
    Wow this sounds so familiar. I dated someone who was exactly the same way.

    "He's notorious for 1) not keeping his phone on him and 2) randomly disappearing. He's self proclaimed UNRELIABLE and when he gets in weird moods he disappears. He always comes around though."

    THIS was exactly like my ex. If he's anything like mine, he'll crawl back eventually wanting to forget all the wrong he did.

    You are strong to cut him loose, I know how hard it is. It sucks to be putting everything you have out there and not get anything back.
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    #8
    ~JANA~
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    #9
    I'm really sorry hun! PM me if you need to talk.
  10. Where there is courage, there is humility
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    #10
    I am so sorry, hon! You are one strong woman and you will get even stronger as each day passes! You are right to walk away when someone can't give you their all. You deserve more than that and you will get it.

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