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Thread: Hey Guys, Long Time No Post!

  1. Senior Member
    Cedes's Avatar
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    #1

    Hey Guys, Long Time No Post!

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    Hey guys, it's been, what, 6 months since I've been on? Well, I just wanted to say hi and let you know what's going on with me. I'm actually going through a rough patch right now, so I want your guy's advice on this.

    Me and M broke up in June, close to when he deployed. It was a cordial breakup-no nasty fights, or biting, just agreement to end things.

    Backstory: we were engaged since 2008, and had a wedding planned for May of next year. My chosen profession is stage management in theatre, which is basically a producer-type position for live theatre. It's a nomadic-ish job, if I stick to the hardcore version. He knew this since we started dating in 2006, and when he asked me to marry him, but near the end of our relationship, he started to get upset about it, and told me that he was hoping I would stay home and be there for him (I have a feeling it might have been related to his recent deployment, but idk). This, along with a few relationship issues, was the cause of us breaking up.

    We've been talking on and off, and have began to discuss getting back together. He's confusing me, because he told me that he's been looking at self-help books, and trying to understand things. He told me about a month ago that he now understood how demanding my job was, and was willing to try to make it work. But, when we talked yesterday, he said that he wanted someone to be there for him, not away a lot.

    Now, I understand that a lot of Military wives/ SO's give up their dream jobs and professions to follow their man around. I know that if I did get back with him, I would be moving to Gulfport, where there is next to no theatre work at all. I wouldn't be working on a regular basis for at least another 4 years, then even longer, depending on where he gets stationed.

    I am not planning on just jumping in to this where we left off, but I am considering getting back together with him. I know it would be a huge sacrifice for me to go, because I would basically be giving up my career for an unclear amount of time. I would take some gigs, but mostly try to do them when he was gone.

    Another fear I have, that I have had, is that I won't get along with the other wives/girlfriends there. I'm very independent, and VERY unique, and don't plan on starting a family any time soon. I just would like to know there is people there that I could relate to.

    I know part of this is probably the loneliness at Christmas talking, and the deployment too, but I just would love your guy's advcie. Thanks!

    on a positive note, I just graduated college I have re-discovered myself, and I am more aware of who I am as a person, and what I really am like. The person I used to be when me and M started dating.

    Thanks guys!
  2. I am a Pielott.. Pylot... Pilote... I FLY PLANES
    Jumpin Jollyfish's Avatar
    Jumpin Jollyfish is offline
    I am a Pielott.. Pylot... Pilote... I FLY PLANES
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    #2
    First off on graduating college!! That's awesome!!

    Second off be very very careful about making the decision to give up your dreams (it may seem temporary right now but you have to consider what if it turns permanent). Just because love can get you through the initial decision to leave your work behind, doesn't mean you wont end up regretting the decision and blaming your future SO for making you give it up and you don't want to have a relationship full of resentment.
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    yes, that is the biggest thing on my mind right now. I know I might be okay with it now, but I need to know that I won't later.

    Note: He did tell me that he was willing to leave the Navy and not go career if it meant I could follow my dreams. He said "you've done a lot of waiting on me, then I could wait on you." So, idk.
  4. Hulksmash!
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    #4
    Congrats on graduating! And I am most definitely going to have to agree about the not giving up on your dreams. DF knows how much school and my career mean to me and he would never expect me to let them go. But if he said he was willing to give things up for you then maybe things have changed. You guys will have to be able to find a happy medium where you both can compromise without having to entirely give up your goals.


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