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Thread: A bad break up before deployment sucks.

  1. Old Newbie
    SoftMoments's Avatar
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    #1

    A bad break up before deployment sucks.

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    My ex and I had a pretty bad break up a few months ago. Here are my questions, has anyone ever been this situation where you want to at least let your ex know that you don't hate them at all but hope that they stay safe over there? That's pretty much the msg. I want to send to my ex. Not I miss you or I still love you... all I want to say is something along the lines of "I pray that you'll be safe over there and I don't hate you." But is that such a smart idea? I'm so scared b/c we ended on such bad terms. I feel like I would be a fool to send him that msg. b/c of how he treated me through the break up. Would I be? Have you been through this before or know anyone who has? Saying something to him regarding his upcoming deployment has been weighing on my heart. Should I just keep it all to myself and leave things as is?

    Advice please. Thanks.
    Last edited by SoftMoments; 11-30-2009 at 07:27 PM.
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    Some things are better left as is. It sounds like you did the right thing for yourself by disconnecting from him. The way he was treating you didn't deserve any explanation from you, IMO. I say you stick with it. I know you are worried about him and want him to be okay. He probably knows that, too. There's no reason for you to contact him, though. If you absolutely aren't going to feel at peace until you say something, then I guess you should. I would just leave it alone, though.
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    #3
    Honestly I wouldnt do it. I mean hes flip flopped moods on you a lot already why chance it all over again.
    Survived deployment #1
  4. Regular Member
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    #4
    I understand your reasoning for wanting to contact him in case something were to happen while he's gone. But you also have to realize that you initiating contact with him also has the potential to open up a can of worms. He could respond, he could not. His response could be something like thanks, or it could be something very hurtful like the things he has said in the past.

    IMO, it's much easier to move on when you don't have contact with the person and there's nothing holding you to them. But if it's one of those things you constantly think about, it may make you feel better to at least send the message.
  5. Old Newbie
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    #5
    Thanks everyone. Everyone's opinion helps a ton. Finally getting out how I've been feeling about this also helped some.
  6. Surviving deployment #2
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    #6
    I think the way you handled the situation perfectly. I would just let it rest...he is a jerk and doesnt deserve any explanation from your side.
    ZOE
  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    Just leave him alone. I worry a lot about my ex. I would never want anything bad to happen to him. But I know it's best to just leave him alone. He doesn't need me checking up on him to be okay.
  8. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
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    #8
    He doesn't deserve your kindness.
  9. I thought I told ya, Imma star!
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    #9
    He doesn't deserve that.

    Pray for him and wish him well. Thats what I did with my exDBag even though he didn't deserve an ounce of it.

    I think I didn't want to give him the pleasure that I still think/thought about him before he was supposed to deploy. I don't think he ever did.
    LET'S GO PENS
  10. Old Newbie
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    #10
    Thanks again. I think it is probably best to not contact him like everyone has suggested. If he ever initiates contact, I will take it from there. Until then, I'll just pray for his safety from afar and leave it at that. Happy Thanksgiving all!
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