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Thread: Heading for divorce...

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    #1

    Confused Heading for divorce...

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    Hi everyone. I have been reading posts and thought I could ask for advice on my situation.

    Two weeks ago, DH called me and said he wanted a divorce. It wasn't completely out of left field, he has threatened me with it 3 times in the past few months. Trust me on this one, it is a very good thing for me to go through with it. He is controlling, a cheater, and mentally abusive. I have been in therapy since he left for Korea in May for severe depression (almost ended it). Therapy has helped me to become stronger and realize just how bad he is for me, not to mention what a bad influence he is on our son.

    So when he called me and said he wanted a divorce, he said I have to do it cause he cant file over there. I think this is true, but someone correct me if I'm wrong. I guess what I really need to know is exactly how can I go about starting divorce proceedings? I'm in South Carolina where we have to be separated for a year before the actual divorce hearing. I sent DH an email telling him we needed to work out a separation agreement before I file, but no response. I haven't talked to him since he told me he wanted a divorce (he said he didn't want to speak to me anymore and will not return calls, messages, or emails).

    I guess I felt compelled to write this and ask for any help cause I really don't have anyone left to turn to. DH ran off all my friends. It is our 2 year anniversary today, and I'm ready to get on with my life, with my child, and without DH.

    Thanks for listening!
  2. A Pretty Poison Flower...bringing you the sweetest juice.
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    #2
    I say just let your lawyer get in touch with your DH and work out the separation agreement that way. If he ignores the lawyer then have the lawyer go to his command and reach him that way.

    I'm so glad you are getting out of a bad situation. So many refuse to see when things are bad to the point of needing to get out for your own mental and physical health and safety.
    Wifey to nstarsweetie and missmaaaine, pog to miraluu, and TayreehBaykur is my Mistress! Mrow! !
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by bri0221 View Post
    Hi everyone. I have been reading posts and thought I could ask for advice on my situation.

    Two weeks ago, DH called me and said he wanted a divorce. It wasn't completely out of left field, he has threatened me with it 3 times in the past few months. Trust me on this one, it is a very good thing for me to go through with it. He is controlling, a cheater, and mentally abusive. I have been in therapy since he left for Korea in May for severe depression (almost ended it). Therapy has helped me to become stronger and realize just how bad he is for me, not to mention what a bad influence he is on our son.

    So when he called me and said he wanted a divorce, he said I have to do it cause he cant file over there. I think this is true, but someone correct me if I'm wrong. I guess what I really need to know is exactly how can I go about starting divorce proceedings? I'm in South Carolina where we have to be separated for a year before the actual divorce hearing. I sent DH an email telling him we needed to work out a separation agreement before I file, but no response. I haven't talked to him since he told me he wanted a divorce (he said he didn't want to speak to me anymore and will not return calls, messages, or emails).

    I guess I felt compelled to write this and ask for any help cause I really don't have anyone left to turn to. DH ran off all my friends. It is our 2 year anniversary today, and I'm ready to get on with my life, with my child, and without DH.

    Thanks for listening!
    Looking at your siggies I thought you would be devastated, what you donīt know sometimes about people. I am glad you are getting out, could you contact your family? What is your plan?
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    #4
    I am really glad you are such a strong person and know that this is a good thing. I hope you get through this without many problems and enjoy your son and the rest of your life. Good for you
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Corinne1 View Post
    I am really glad you are such a strong person and know that this is a good thing. I hope you get through this without many problems and enjoy your son and the rest of your life. Good for you
    I agree.. I am very proud of you. I'd start talking to a lawyer.. or legal on base and see what can be done.


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    #6
    I'd talk to a lawyer, maybe go to JAG if needed, in most states you can still file with one person absent, just not sure how to go about it. Congrats on getting out.
    [CENTER]"Be curious, not judgemental." -- Walt Whitman
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    #7
    Find a lawyer and have him/her advise you on the best, next course of action. You want to make sure it's in your best interest to file (he could say YOU abandoned him/the marriage if you file..I think) and which state it is best to file in. (your home state or where you currently reside). This would be regarding child support and custody.
    You need to make sure you continue to recieve the BAH he receives to support you and insurance for you until you are divorced and insurance for your child until the age of 21-23.

    Jag can't help you other than to say "hire a lawyer". They are really there for the servicemember. Don't waste your time. Hire a lawyer and have him/her proceed for you.
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    #8
    Go to base legal. It's free. :




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    #9
    What state were you married in?
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    #10
    I did my whole divorce in Florida without a lawyer and it is much cheaper (only like 600 dollars) vs. paying a lawyer. If you can both agree on how to divide your assets, it is really not that complicated and the family law court will help you. If you think that there will be a battle over anything, then, I would definitely hire a lawyer. Trust me on this one, the sooner you start the better. This is not a short process even if you agree on everything. Once it is official, you will feel 100 times better.
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