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Thread: Over.

  1. The Champion Lurker is Flyin' Solo.
    samooontha's Avatar
    samooontha is offline
    The Champion Lurker is Flyin' Solo.
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Back home in Virginia!


    I know I hardly ever post, and that 99% of you have no idea who I am, but I'm on here daily reading and just need an outlet right now. I've yet to just give myself a minute to be sad, and I really need to.

    As of October 23rd, Mark was out of the Army, and we got back home on the 24th. By the 27th, he had said every hateful thing he could think of and told me he was done with our marriage... Through a text message, and in the same text included that the dog was being "extra cute right now."

    So basically, I'm a big mess. I've known him since I was twelve years old. Our relationship started out as the best thing I'd ever had happen to me. But then he went to Korea, cheated on me while he was there, came home and was more interested in his computer games than even having a conversation with me.

    I should've known better then, but I held on so tightly to the person he showed me in the begining. I thought it could come back. We'd been together for two years when we got married in May, and four days after we got married we left for Kentucky.

    Everything was just a constant rollercoaster. I felt incredibly neglected and isolated, because I knew only him, and he would literally come in and not speak a word to me for hours. I was so miserable with the way things were going that I had no drive to want to meet anyone there. And I was embarassed that I had gotten myself into something like that, because I ignored everyone's advice.

    I just don't know what happened to us. I tried so, so hard to talk to him about things. Towards the end he got better about doing things with me, and paying at least some attention to me, but it was all negative attention.

    I'd try to make conversation about a friend or family member, and even the most innocent thing he'd turn into some way to cut me down. It was the most disgusting emotional abuse.

    I recognized the fact that he took offense to me trying to talk about our issues, so I tried things like writing him letters that started with things like, "please tell me what you'd like me to work on." I'd ignore his comments and continue to try to be sweet and loving. Nothing, just nothing worked. I did everything I knew how to do.

    The worst part of all of this... He's out. We're back home. This is all I have wanted for our entire relationship. To be free of the stress of him having to leave soon. He's here, 15 minutes away from me, for good, and I can't stand the sight of him because of the hell he has put me through.

    I've seen him once after he told me he was done. He asked me to come over so we could have sex. I told him I would, because the thought of him sleeping with anyone else just turns my stomach. But when I went it was too much and I was just bawling. I went to lean my head on his shoulder, and he moved away from me and said, "get the fuck off, I'm not here to tend to your emotional needs, because I don't give a fuck Samantha."

    I'm just so lost. My friends are happy I am away from him, but I don't think they understand that regardless of how he treated me, I'm still losing someone I love, someone I thought I'd be having children with, spending the rest of my life with. I still need my time to hurt.

    I'm sorry this was so long. I don't fault anyone for not reading it.
  2. The Decider
    Brianna Banana's Avatar
    Brianna Banana is offline
    The Decider
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    Dec 2008
    Tempe, AZ
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    Oh my gosh. I am so, so sorry. You never deserve abuse, and his response after sex was just disgusting. You will find someone amazing; someone who deserves you.

    Please PM me if you ever need a shoulder.
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  3. Loyal to those, Loyal to me
    AFwifey86's Avatar
    AFwifey86 is offline
    Loyal to those, Loyal to me
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    Jun 2009
    I'm so sorry hun. I really dont have words to cover those wounds and hateful spite words. All I can say is, if you're not happy...please PLEASE dont stay. Or try counseling? If he even agrees to it... I mean, You cant force him to go, but if he WANTS to work on it, then try. Other than that, dont pour your life into him if he's not willing to do the same.

  4. Senior Member
    tinsygrl's Avatar
    tinsygrl is offline
    Senior Member
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    Jul 2007
    Ft. Drum
    sweetie you have every right to be happy and vent away that is what this site is for to voice the things that sometimes are hard to say to the people that are closest to you... Pm me if you need anything I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship so if you need to talk I'm here.
  5. The Champion Lurker is Flyin' Solo.
    samooontha's Avatar
    samooontha is offline
    The Champion Lurker is Flyin' Solo.
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Back home in Virginia!
    I brought up counseling several times. He was all for it for a while, but then he refused. I went to a therapist own my own a few times, hoping he'd follow suit, but that didn't happen either.

    The thing about it is, I know I don't need to stay. I know that. But what breaks my heart is that if I wanted to, I know how he is, and he is now at the point where there is no talking. His mind is made up.

    It's a god awful feeling to realize I've loved this person with all I have for two and a half years, and this is what I get in return- nothing. No effort, no concern for my well being. Just nothing.
  6. Senior Member
    MS234755's Avatar
    MS234755 is offline
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    Jan 2009
    Holy crap I'm SO sorry. I wouldn't speak that way to an animal, let alone someone who loved me. I'm glad you will be available for a kinder man who will some day come along, but I am also sorry for your loss.
  7. lucky im in love with my best friend
    pinknpretty4564's Avatar
    pinknpretty4564 is offline
    lucky im in love with my best friend
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Me: Asheville, NC Him: Iraq
    i dont really have any advice, but hang in there hun, things will get better for you, just give yourself some time. you deserve someone who will treat you right and care about you and your feelings!
    Last edited by pinknpretty4564; 11-06-2009 at 01:41 AM. Reason: rewording
  8. Banned
    Jenn026's Avatar
    Jenn026 is offline
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    Mar 2008
    Seymour Johnson AFB
    You deserve way better than the way you are being treated. I know you are heartbroken at the way he is treating you and the fact that he doesn't want to try, but NOBODY deserves to be treated this way. He is not treating you like a person who loves you, you do not deserve this. I'm so sorry you are going through this, it must be devastating you have someone you love treat you this way.
  9. I see the light at the end of the tunnel...
    CubLub63's Avatar
    CubLub63 is offline
    I see the light at the end of the tunnel...
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    To put it simply, and very kindly, this person does NOT deserve a nano-second of your time. I pray that you can get through this and move on to someone who will treat you like the amazing individual that you are.
    TTFN. Ta-ta for now MSOS.
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    lavender_jane is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
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    May 2009

    Aw that's just awful and I'm so sorry it has come to that. After all that time and love you deserve much much more
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