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Thread: How would you deal with this?

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    #1

    How would you deal with this?

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    Last edited by TexasLady; 12-13-2009 at 11:04 PM.
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    #2
    im not sure what to say but i wil say i hope you figure things out and that whatever happens i hope you end up happy
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    #3
    did he say why he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you right now? i mean, what is the purpose for him behind this break up. is there anyone else he could be interested in? just trying to get background info to maybe help you out a little more
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by ilovemyairmen View Post
    did he say why he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you right now? i mean, what is the purpose for him behind this break up. is there anyone else he could be interested in? just trying to get background info to maybe help you out a little more
    He said he felt pressured to get too serious too fast & we were arguing too much & it was stressing him out. He said he needed to concentrate on his career at this point. I really don't think there is anyone else. I just don't get that vibe from him.
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    #5
    arguing alot during a deployment can really stress out someone's who's deployed. he may just have enough to deal with over there right now and may want to take time to focus on that, then back on you when his stress level is back to normal when he leaves there. if you're willing to wait for him, and not rush him into a huge commitment he's not ready for, then you should, but if you try to rush him and he's not ready, he may push you away further. I wouldn't wait a few years on someone if I had doubts about the relationship, but maybe right now you could try to be his friend through this deployment, and that may make the relationship stronger in the end. You'll just have to look inside and decide what you truly want to do, and how worth it he is for you to wait on him, and how long you're willing to wait
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    #6
    Thank you so much. I'm going to wait it out for a while. I think the break up was the right thing for him to do for himself but I'm confused at to what the next chapter with me & him is going to be. I definitely think he pushed me away because I was pushing him too much, but that's a whole different complicated, confusing story.
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    #7
    that all sounds to familiar. ex-db told me all the same things and i used all the same "excuses," as everyone else liked to call them, for him. my best advice, whether or not you decide to wait for him or move on, is to take care of you! i hope things work out for you!! im always up for talking if you wanna shoot me a pm!

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change,
    courage to change the things I can,
    and wisdom to know the difference.
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    #8
    Just give hime some time, but dont wait around for him either. You have to move on as well.
    Who knows? Down the road it may work out again.
    Right now, he just cant be in a relationship and you have to respect that.
    But also , dont be so quick to take him back!!
    You will get through this girl!
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    #9
    I was dating a guy on and off for five years before DH. There was a reason it was on and off. He would tell me he needs a break, but I want to marry you or I see us together. I never got the COMMITMENT needed from HIM. I was always going on with my life, then he would pop up. The I would start all over with him. Anyways, I really hope you put yourself first and be careful with someone that is taking the path he is choosing to do. Guard your heart and feelings. You are worth it!! I am sorry you are going through this.
    ~JANA~
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    #10
    I'm going to be honest.

    You need to move on. You cannot wait on this guy and put your life on hold. You can't base your life on "what ifs". He is not sure about being with you right now or being together, so you CANNOT entertain the idea that you MIGHT be together later, so you should just wait.
    No. If we want to play the "what if" game, what if he comes home after the month/two years and doesn't want to be with you? What have you done? Nothing. You haven't moved on and you've just dragged it out.

    It's in your best interest to move on. What is going on right now? You are not together, you are not dating, you are single. You need to move on. He let you go, why should you wait around for him?

    And if you're thinking "well, what if he comes home and wants me but I'm dating someone else? Or hates me for moving on? Or he ends up dating and marrying someone else??"
    Well, do not regret moving on. You're making the best choice for yourself in this moment. You can not base your life over what ifs. Life will never turn out how you want it or plan it, you can only go off what you have and what is going on RIGHT NOW.

    And RIGHT NOW: you are not together and he does not want to be with you right now. Let your heart heal and start moving on. If it's meant to be it will, but you cannot wait around for him and his indecision.

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