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Thread: Down to 1, 3 word sentence a day & it's not ILU (LONNGG)

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    Sad Down to 1, 3 word sentence a day & it's not ILU (LONNGG)

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    Df's been gone for 3 1/2 mos or so now. We've spoken about 4 times all of which were 15-20 mins long and consisted of "Talk to me!, What are you doing?, Who's that in the background..." etc. You get the picture. The emails have gone down to about a 3 word sentence (if you consider that a sentence). When we first were together he was still here in the US and was stationed in VA. We met and for the first week all we wanted to do was email. Because he was living on the ship he only had email and no phone to call me from. So for about 3 weeks we would talk online constantly, every minute we could. I'd get up for work and stay on the computer on email all day with him while he'd run around the ship to different computers so we could keep talking.

    That was in Oct. This is now about to be June and that doesn't happen anymore. Yes, he's deployed but he is also on the ship 24/7. He goes into port and MAYBE I might get a call MAYBE an email, "My day's going... How about yours?" I'd reply and wait about 24 hrs for another, "My day sucks... How's work?" Thats our conversations...

    I try so hard to deal with it. I started to write one email a day. Long ones. Lots of information about my day and how much I love him. He replies to one question in the entire email and maybe a small statement.

    IE: "...My day went well honey, work was long but I love what I do.
    I love you and I was wondering what ya'll did while you were in "blah blah port"..."

    Reply: "Didn't do anything, drank a little, worked, slept ate and went back to sleep. Sorry work was long. ttyl."






    I ask, Please tell me whats up, why dont u EVER talk to me, theres no conversations theres just blank empty emails and short sentences.

    He says: "I'm sorry it has to be like this."

    That's bullshit to me.

    "Where there's a will, there's a way!!"



    I don't know what to do. I haven't emailed him @ all today. Maybe I'll get something good out of it. Though I doubt it. It just seems like he's given up or is just going "Sea Crazy".

    Trying to figure it all out...
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    #2
    Have you had any fights or problems... or is it all just work-related (the best of which you know)?
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    no not many fights. He's just working so much. He doesn't feel the need to tell me he loves me anymore. Emails i've gotten in the past, compared to now are complete opposite! Literally. A month after he deployed I got amazing emails, the 100 things he loves about me, the "I can't wait to be with you forever" ones, even the "our future children are going to be beautiful because you're their mother" one. AND now it's... "mornin." (That was yesterday mornings email.)

    Wtf?
    Trying to figure it all out...
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    Please don't take this the wrong way.....BUT:

    You're being an idiot. He's not on a cruise, he's working. And they shut down comms on the boat while they're in port so if he emails you in port, he's having to pay for it. Did you ever think you might not be able to afford it? He's most likely tired and exhausted and so on and so forth. Do you not read the boards and see how deployment is? He might be getting on the pc 5 mins a day if that.

    Yes he's on the ship 24/7.....WORKING.
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    How am I not supposed to take "You're an idiot" the wrong way?

    No, he's not paying for email while in port. No, they don't shut down the computers while they're in port. He has his own workstation with a computer. When email is shut down, I get a return email from the server telling me it was unable to send. He's on the ship 24/7 by CHOICE! He can leave anytime while they're in port! He's even told me. He chooses not to. His own fault. I realize he's tired & ya know what I completely understand that. But when he gets on for the alleged "5 mins a day" what the is so wrong to send me an email with MORE than ONE WORD IN IT!!
    Trying to figure it all out...
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    No, they do not shut down communications when in port, UNLESS it's somewhere very secured.

    However.. My husband was just like his. The 1st 3-4 weeks I got awesome emails, phone calls every other day (he is an IT so he works in radio w/ a phone he has very easy access to), ect. Then shit got hard for him. And he shut down. Got real brief with me, like your DF is doing to you. Nothing is wrong with you two, I promise. He is tired, stressed, and probably miserable and depressed. They work more then they sleep. Like I said before, my husband is an IT. His job is working with computers, but he still didn't always have time to e-mail me. And when he did, they were real short. Port visits keep them going, so they go out as much as they can and enjoy themselves. Just relax and keep telling him how much you love him, ect.. He's just distancing himself because it's getting really, really hard for him right now I am sure. Being away from you, friends and family and being stuck on a tin can with a bunch of people who only care about themselves (most of them). And getting bitched at from the left and right.
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    Anyone else wanna go round n round? Or does anyone want to actually give me some GOOD advice?
    Trying to figure it all out...
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    Quote Originally Posted by usn47gf View Post
    How am I not supposed to take "You're an idiot" the wrong way?

    No, he's not paying for email while in port. No, they don't shut down the computers while they're in port. He has his own workstation with a computer. When email is shut down, I get a return email from the server telling me it was unable to send. He's on the ship 24/7 by CHOICE! He can leave anytime while they're in port! He's even told me. He chooses not to. His own fault. I realize he's tired & ya know what I completely understand that. But when he gets on for the alleged "5 mins a day" what the is so wrong to send me an email with MORE than ONE WORD IN IT!!
    5 minutes is NOT a long time. And the computers there SUCK and are slow. I am sure you're not the only one he's keeping in contact with. So that's probably all he has time for.
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    Quote Originally Posted by usn47gf View Post
    Anyone else wanna go round n round? Or does anyone want to actually give me some GOOD advice?
    WTF is that suppose to mean? I am giving you advice that came from what my husband told me. You need to chill. There's NOTHING you can do but deal with it. He's got a job he has to do. Let him do it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllyssaM View Post
    No, they do not shut down communications when in port, UNLESS it's somewhere very secured.

    However.. My husband was just like his. The 1st 3-4 weeks I got awesome emails, phone calls every other day (he is an IT so he works in radio w/ a phone he has very easy access to), ect. Then shit got hard for him. And he shut down. Got real brief with me, like your DF is doing to you. Nothing is wrong with you two, I promise. He is tired, stressed, and probably miserable and depressed. They work more then they sleep. Like I said before, my husband is an IT. His job is working with computers, but he still didn't always have time to e-mail me. And when he did, they were real short. Port visits keep them going, so they go out as much as they can and enjoy themselves. Just relax and keep telling him how much you love him, ect.. He's just distancing himself because it's getting really, really hard for him right now I am sure. Being away from you, friends and family and being stuck on a tin can with a bunch of people who only care about themselves (most of them). And getting bitched at from the left and right.




    Thank you.
    Thank you very much.

    I don't need a shitty "wakeup call" from SOME PEOPLE. I simply needed that.
    Trying to figure it all out...
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