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Thread: should i leave or should i go

  1. tiffany2727
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    should i leave or should i go

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    ladies i need some advice about my relationship i have with my boyfriend me and him have being together 4 1/2 yrs and i am so in love with him it a shame but we have had our up and down. He cheated on me and we trying to work it out. we talked everyday when he in a iraq and now he home for R&R and when he was walking to the car we got into it. I just cant forget about what he did to me cause i was so hurt when i found out about the other woman. I told him i forgive him but i will never forget it. Now he trying to show the jealousy side of him now like when i go out with my friends he think i going to look for another man. I need some advice on what should i do we from the same state but when he back from iraq he will be station at ft Sill OK. He was telling me the other day that he want to do another overseas tour. Dont get me wrong i really do love him and care about him. i still think he talk to the other woman what should i do cause everytime i ask him he dont tell me the truth.
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    #2
    i suggest either y'all go together to counseling or you go by yourself.
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    #3
    I think counseling would help you two a lot and maybe a counselor can tell you more about what would be better for you. Sometimes you just cant recover from cheating its a huge betrayale in my eyes. I would never be able to get around that. Also if he is still talking to her and he knows it bothers you then that cant work. it will only creat repeated problems. Also if you feel like he is not telling you the truth a lot of the time then you two need to resolve that or it will only get worse as time goes on and you already have trust issues with the cheating. I hope you can figure it out.
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    #4
    If your going to forgive...then you need to completely forgive...its hard to get over something like that...but for the relationship to work you are going to have to find a way to completely forgive him and move on...and TRUST him...I suggest if you can't do that...then end the relationship..

    I think counseling would be a great way for you two to talk about things and hopefully help you to get over what happened and build that trust back...and he also needs to realize that he has to WORK to earn that trust back as well!!

    Good luck with whatever you decide sweetie!! We are all here for you if you need to talk or whatever!!!
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    #5
    you have to make the decision to trust him or not, and go from there. i made the choice to trust and move forward. it took a lot of time, and a lot of work, on my part, to not bring it up all the time. i can say i'm finally past it, and i can think about it without getting bothered. he's with me when he could have been with her.

    make the choice, and then really focus on it. if you can't let it go, then you need to move on. hanging onto it won't make your relationship improve.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherNichole View Post
    If your going to forgive...then you need to completely forgive...its hard to get over something like that...but for the relationship to work you are going to have to find a way to completely forgive him and move on...and TRUST him...I suggest if you can't do that...then end the relationship..

    I think counseling would be a great way for you two to talk about things and hopefully help you to get over what happened and build that trust back...and he also needs to realize that he has to WORK to earn that trust back as well!!

    Good luck with whatever you decide sweetie!! We are all here for you if you need to talk or whatever!!!
    and couldn't have said it better...

    Everyday you spend worrying about tomorrow...you miss living for today...
  7. BJo
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    #7
    He has to stop talking to her!
  8. Super Grammar Girl to the rescue!
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by BrittanyJo View Post
    He has to stop talking to her!


    If he really loves you he should be bending over backward to prove that he is worthy of your trust and love. It takes time to rebuild trust, it doesn't just happen overnight because you forgive them.

    Also, I think the title of your post kinda says it all. It sounds like you're on the verge of leaving and wondering if it is the right desicion.
    PLAN: The only four letter word the Army doesn't use. -Me
    "If we were a CD, I'd put us on shuffle and repeat." - DH

    Quote Originally Posted by eelo View Post
    Being part of "the military family" will really teach you to reduce your expectations of being kissed while you're getting f****d.

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