I'm done..... completely used up and done...

[Berkley]

Sorry if you're sick of reading about it..
But I talked to Matt last night and I'm just done. I can't keep fighting for what he obviously doesn't want to work. I've tried and tried and I simply cannot do it anymroe. I'm used up. I'm emotionally exhausted. Every time I got a glimmer of hope it wasn't what I thought it was. I'm looking for a job today and hopefully soon I can move out.
As far as I'm concerned right now he's an *******. I love him dearly but right now I'm just plain mad. I've put 110% of me into this and it just sucks to finally see that he is not doing the same nor has he been. Maybe things will change when he gets home but I very much doubt it.
I told him I won't fight him on the divorce if he wants it he can have it.
I will fight him on the kids tho but to be honest I doubt that will be much of a fight. He hasn't been around them in over 4 years Plus we always said we'd never put the kids in the middle.
I'm back and forth with and

[jlbecker]

i'm sorry

[CoffeeGirl]

I'm really sorry to hear that sweety

[heather679]

I'm so very sorry to hear that.

[mrskmw]

I'm so sorry Berk! I hope that once he gets home he will change his mind and see what he would be missing!

[missybee77]

every situation is so different, so i wish i knew what to say. dh and i went back and forth from november of 07 up until he left for basic in july. i have told you some of what went on, so you know how bad it was. i got to the point where you are several times, and i know how you are feeling. it is one of the oddest sensations ever. a part of you feels dead and broken, and the part that isnt is just angry as hell and wants to kill something. when you are not crying you are probably telling yourself "it's ok, i can do this, i will be ok without him" and then you go back to feeling hopeless and lost. this goes on for quite a while. there are days when i still feel both of those things, and it's ok. who knows how long it will last.
as for the fighting for him stuff.....stop. he needs to come to his sense all on his own. i think one of the turning points for us was when he saw that i really would be ok without him, when i stopped pleading and crying for him to stay, when i told him "ok, let's just get it over with then" he sort of lost his steam. i know it has got to be harder than anything with his being so far away. just hang in there. it sounds like you two have already been through so much together already, maybe this is something else that will come to pass and you will both be stronger for it. i wish you all the best, i really do. just try to hang in there and do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your kiddos. if you ever need anything, and i mean anything, please pm me, call me, email me, whatever.

[KatReborn]

I'm so sorry

[goldilockz]

[SnowCrystal]

[footstepswife]

Sorry honey