Goodbye my almost lover...

[OneRed911]

I asked him if he still wanted me. I said I needed to know.

He told me he loves me...but no.

So last night I cried, I sobbed and I bawled. I don't know how two people who said they love each other could go so wrong.

I told him if I had felt he wanted me to I would've waited for him for as long as it took but I can't do it alone. It takes two to be in a relationship, and two to make it work, especially a long distance relationship. I wasn't feeling it from him for a while now and I only heard "I love you" one time in the last month.

So...I love him and I'm in so much pain right now I can't see straight but it's through. It's done and I'm free.

Maybe now I can find someone who can tell me and show me he loves me and is grateful every day that I'm in his life instead of dialing into the relationship whenever he feels like it and throws around the words "I love you" when it's convenient or to show what a victim he is in all this.

Someone on here said once that love is not a feeling, it's a decision. I partly agree...it's a feeling AND a decision and you have to decide to participate in love not just sit there and expect it to happen to you.

So...I'm not leaving this forum and I'm not even going to take a break because you ladies are some of the most wonderful women I've encountered and I need you now more than ever!!

[carlyd89]

Awww hun..I'm so sorry to hear about this... It's really depressing me, hearing about how all these "men" are treating the women who stand behind them no matter what... You WILL find someone so much better that will show you how much they love you every single day. And I'm glad you're staying on here!!!!

[OneRed911]

Originally Posted by carlyd89 Awww hun..I'm so sorry to hear about this... It's really depressing me, hearing about how all these "men" are treating the women who stand behind them no matter what... You WILL find someone so much better that will show you how much they love you every single day. And I'm glad you're staying on here!!!!

I've seen it coming for a while now and fought it for a long time but no matter how much it hurts now it will hurt me less in the long run to let him go now than to fruitlessly beat my heart against a wall every day. He's a good man, he's just not ready for a real relationship and all the work it entails.

Thank you!!!

[Fidzy]

I'm glad you're staying, too. to you, I hope things work out in the long run. I think what you said is true: Love is part work and part emotion....

[carlyd89]

Originally Posted by OneRed911 I've seen it coming for a while now and fought it for a long time but no matter how much it hurts now it will hurt me less in the long run to let him go now than to fruitlessly beat my heart against a wall every day. He's a good man, he's just not ready for a real relationship and all the work it entails. Thank you!!!

Yeah some guys just can't handle all the love we give. Stay strong hun and I know you'll make it through. You seem pretty strong already
PM me if you ever need to. I'm always here

[BJo]

You seem to be handling this with a lot of maturity. It's good that you recognize you deserve someone better than what he is offering you. Break ups are such a painful thing to go through but once you come out the other end you know who you are even better then before.

[OneRed911]

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo You seem to be handling this with a lot of maturity. It's good that you recognize you deserve someone better than what he is offering you. Break ups are such a painful thing to go through but once you come out the other end you know who you are even better then before.

LOL...you didn't hear me last night in the chatroom. I wasn't handling it with so much maturity then. I really thought I was losing my mind.

I know there's someone out there who will love and appreciate me...I thought it was him but obviously not. There will be up days and down days but I'm a fighter and a survivor.

Thanks. :-)

[OneRed911]

Originally Posted by swymerfoote I'm glad you're staying, too. to you, I hope things work out in the long run. I think what you said is true: Love is part work and part emotion....

Thank you...you gals really are the best here.

[SarahElizabeth]

I'm so sorry.

[BJo]

Originally Posted by OneRed911 Thank you...you gals really are the best here.

DF and I got in an epic fight once. I mean it was royal rumble 2007 and I am amazed we made it through this experience. Anyways, I got so angry I threw all of his **** off of my balcony. His camo budweiser hat still sits on the car port roof. You can't always be mature so don't feel bad about flipping out. Allow yourself to get that out of your system and then move forward!