I asked him if he still wanted me. I said I needed to know.
He told me he loves me...but no.
So last night I cried, I sobbed and I bawled. I don't know how two people who said they love each other could go so wrong.
I told him if I had felt he wanted me to I would've waited for him for as long as it took but I can't do it alone. It takes two to be in a relationship, and two to make it work, especially a long distance relationship. I wasn't feeling it from him for a while now and I only heard "I love you" one time in the last month.
So...I love him and I'm in so much pain right now I can't see straight but it's through. It's done and I'm free.
Maybe now I can find someone who can tell me and show me he loves me and is grateful every day that I'm in his life instead of dialing into the relationship whenever he feels like it and throws around the words "I love you" when it's convenient or to show what a victim he is in all this.
Someone on here said once that love is not a feeling, it's a decision. I partly agree...it's a feeling AND a decision and you have to decide to participate in love not just sit there and expect it to happen to you.
So...I'm not leaving this forum and I'm not even going to take a break because you ladies are some of the most wonderful women I've encountered and I need you now more than ever!!
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