confused - Life After Love

Armychik120 · 01-31-2008, 01:37 PM

my boyfriend dan is in the 10th mountain division of the army. we dont see each other hardly at all because he is at ft drum in upstate ny while i remain in ct to finish high school. the last time i really talked to him was before christmas. we messeged a few times on myspace before christmas and he said that once he got back to the base from vacation he would come see me and that he would put more effort into the relationship. needless to say i havent herd from him since then and he wont answer my calls or ne messages. so im not sure if this is just him being him and being busy or if maybe i did something wrong or what is going on.

BJo · 01-31-2008, 01:55 PM

It sounds to me like he isn't putting ANY effort into your relationship. He hasn't had contact with you since before Christmas? These are huge red flags sweetie. Maybe it is time to throw in the towel. Then again I don't know exact details of your situation. Maybe you could elaborate more.

~~ijustdidit2012~~ · 01-31-2008, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo

It sounds to me like he isn't putting ANY effort into your relationship. He hasn't had contact with you since before Christmas? These are huge red flags sweetie. Maybe it is time to throw in the towel. Then again I don't know exact details of your situation. Maybe you could elaborate more.

i agree they are busy that is for sure but answer your messges slip in a quick call seems like he isnt trying at all. next time you do talk to him you should let him know how much this hurts and if he doesnt want to put in the time maybe it is time to end it.

*MarineBug* · 01-31-2008, 02:24 PM

I am with the other ladies. From an outside point of view there is something seriously wrong here

*MarineBug* · 01-31-2008, 02:25 PM

And since this is your first post I might at also add

to SOS! I am Kyley Proud wife to KC (USMC) currently deployed to Iraq. You have found a wonderful place for support and fun! I would like to pass on our OPSEC link to you so you can become familiar with our guidelines so you and your service member can remain safe

http://militarysos.com/index.php?page=opsec

Armychik120 · 01-31-2008, 06:09 PM

thanks for welcoming me. its nice to know that i have found people who understand what its like to love someone who is in the military.

i just wish i knew what to say to him in a message. like what is something i can do or say to show him how much love i have for him in my heart and how badly this is hurting me without sounding all mushy and an emotional mess.

Armychik120 · 02-01-2008, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo

It sounds to me like he isn't putting ANY effort into your relationship. He hasn't had contact with you since before Christmas? These are huge red flags sweetie. Maybe it is time to throw in the towel. Then again I don't know exact details of your situation. Maybe you could elaborate more.

since you wanted me to elaborate more about my relationship. we met through a military dating site. he is originally from ct like i am and comes home to ct every weekend from ft drum. we only hung out a handfull of times since weve been together because things kept comming up like deployements outside the country to keep peace and what not. and other family issues with him.

today is the 4th month that we have been together. post more when im home

Devinn · 02-01-2008, 01:07 PM

Since before Christmas???? Yeah, I think it would be safe to say that he's done. I think I would let sleeping dogs lie and move on.

By the way, just a fair warning....you mentioned you have not finished high school....this site is 18+ and him dating someone under the age of 18 is illegal. The military doesn't like that.

Either way, welcome.

cvlrygrl · 02-01-2008, 01:18 PM

I know you are confused but you need to focus on you a bit. You are young and have alot in life that is unknown still. He obviously isnt wanting to put in enough effort or his life right now doesnt allow him to put in the effort to make a relationship work. You should do your own thing and if it is meant to be it will be. You cant force something to happen as hard as that is to accept and as much as I can tell you want it to, relationships are a two way street and unfortunately it sounds like you are the only one traveling here. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Please be safe and think about how much life and time you are wasting on someone who cant even call you back. You deserve better. Good luck
K

mrskmw · 02-01-2008, 01:20 PM

Ya doesn't sound like he's to interested in a relationship, if he was I would think he'd at least put forth SOME effort. BTW Welcome to SOS!

01-31-2008, 01:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
Armychik120 Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: ft riley Posts: 74 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 30%	confused my boyfriend dan is in the 10th mountain division of the army. we dont see each other hardly at all because he is at ft drum in upstate ny while i remain in ct to finish high school. the last time i really talked to him was before christmas. we messeged a few times on myspace before christmas and he said that once he got back to the base from vacation he would come see me and that he would put more effort into the relationship. needless to say i havent herd from him since then and he wont answer my calls or ne messages. so im not sure if this is just him being him and being busy or if maybe i did something wrong or what is going on.

01-31-2008, 02:24 PM	#4 (permalink)
MarineBug KYLEY Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Me:SoCal DH:Afghanistan Stationed:Camp Pendleton Posts: 16,106 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (12) Activity: 50% Longevity: 34%	I am with the other ladies. From an outside point of view there is something seriously wrong here __________________ 7 MONTHS 8 DAYS Since Bubba Went to Afghanistan If you are looking for Custom Bows to match your little ones outfit for any holiday please PM me! Order custom holiday bows now and receive FREE SHIPPING!

01-31-2008, 02:25 PM	#5 (permalink)
MarineBug KYLEY Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Me:SoCal DH:Afghanistan Stationed:Camp Pendleton Posts: 16,106 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (12) Activity: 50% Longevity: 34%	And since this is your first post I might at also add to SOS! I am Kyley Proud wife to KC (USMC) currently deployed to Iraq. You have found a wonderful place for support and fun! I would like to pass on our OPSEC link to you so you can become familiar with our guidelines so you and your service member can remain safe http://militarysos.com/index.php?page=opsec __________________ 7 MONTHS 8 DAYS Since Bubba Went to Afghanistan If you are looking for Custom Bows to match your little ones outfit for any holiday please PM me! Order custom holiday bows now and receive FREE SHIPPING!

02-01-2008, 01:20 PM	#10 (permalink)
mrskmw I'm Only A Little Crazy Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia Posts: 17,821 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 12% Longevity: 51%	Ya doesn't sound like he's to interested in a relationship, if he was I would think he'd at least put forth SOME effort. BTW Welcome to SOS! __________________ http://karamelow.mybrute.com fight my brute!! http://www.youravon.com/kwild

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01-31-2008, 01:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
BJo Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,363 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 39%	It sounds to me like he isn't putting ANY effort into your relationship. He hasn't had contact with you since before Christmas? These are huge red flags sweetie. Maybe it is time to throw in the towel. Then again I don't know exact details of your situation. Maybe you could elaborate more.

01-31-2008, 06:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
Armychik120 Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: ft riley Posts: 74 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 30%	thanks for welcoming me. its nice to know that i have found people who understand what its like to love someone who is in the military. i just wish i knew what to say to him in a message. like what is something i can do or say to show him how much love i have for him in my heart and how badly this is hurting me without sounding all mushy and an emotional mess.

02-01-2008, 01:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
cvlrygrl Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 416 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 40%	I know you are confused but you need to focus on you a bit. You are young and have alot in life that is unknown still. He obviously isnt wanting to put in enough effort or his life right now doesnt allow him to put in the effort to make a relationship work. You should do your own thing and if it is meant to be it will be. You cant force something to happen as hard as that is to accept and as much as I can tell you want it to, relationships are a two way street and unfortunately it sounds like you are the only one traveling here. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Please be safe and think about how much life and time you are wasting on someone who cant even call you back. You deserve better. Good luck K