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Thread: I can't see past it. (language Warning) long.

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    Cheeky Monkey's Avatar
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    #1

    I can't see past it. (language Warning) long.

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    I am having a really tough time today, i just can't see past the pain that i'm feeling right now. i feel like everything that i've been through with his deployment all the things he's told me... that everything was just a lie. i feel like a fool, and i'm having a really hard time to find the strength to do the things that i need to do. i just feel like everything is crashing around me. and on top of it all i have fucking pnemonia (only mildly) with this and being sick i just feel so fucking weak and i hate it.

    i have so many emotions that i'm going through right now, i'm fucking pissed b/c i've been lied to. i feel guilty b/c i'm hoping that thie guilt he is feeling is killing him as much as this pain is killing me. i just feel like my future is being covered by a black curtain and all i can see is pain. i just want to walk away from everything i have been working for and get in my car and just leave everything behind. i cant eat, sleep or even focus on my classes.i'm so lost and feel so alone and i don't want to be alone.

    everywhere i go there a reminders that just stab me in my soul, every love song that used to make me smile, every sad song that i used to think to my self thank God that's not me. every inch of my apartment, my car that he paid to have tinted. every wonderful thing that he said or did or wrote... i just feel like i'll never get past this pain. i feel like something dies inside of me and what died was all my hopes and dreams for my future, my life that was suposed to be with him, and i feel like i have nothing left. i don't know what i am working so hard for anymore, because my future died when he told me that we were over and that he slept with another girl.
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    #2
    I'm so sorry. I know that nothing I can say will make everything melt away and be different but I just wanted to let you know you are on my mind. I know what it is like to have someone you believe in let you down. It took me almost 3 years to get over my ex after we had been together for 7. It's hard. You are strong though...never forget that. I guarantee you a year from now you will look back at this and smile....it will make you a better, stronger and most importantly wiser person.

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    #3
    Thank you.
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    #4
    I have been there before. You feel completely betrayed for the years you have spent with that person and when the things they promised don't come tru, it feels like a knife in the heart. I dated someone for 4 years and when it didn't work out my world crumbled. On the other side of it though, I was REALLY single for 3 years after and then I found DF. The saying is true, "when someone breaks your heart you say "I will never love like that again," but when you do find someone again you say, "I have never loved like this before." You will endure and you will carry on. I promise you that!
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    #5
  6. deployment #2: 1 month down!
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    #6
    Oh my gosh Linds!!! I had no idea that he slept with another girl!!!! What a jerk! You deserve soooo much better than him! Grr I just want to beat the crap out of him.

    But you are so much better than all of that. You have been working so hard in school to get where you are. Don't throw all of that away over some pathetic loser. He's not even good enough to be in your presence let alone be with you. I'm here for you sweetie!
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    #7
    It takes time and it hurts soooo bad... but it will get better someday. You just have to keep telling yourself that.
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    #8
    Thanks ladies. i really appriciate the suport, todays been really hard on me.
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    #9
  10. ArmyWifeKelly
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    #10
    I promise you will get past the pain. You will heal and you will find a new exciting future waiting for you. It will take time, but it will be wonderful. I'm sorry you went through all that crap. You didn't deserve any of it. You're one tough cookie. I'll be thinking about you. Don't lose hope. It will be okay.
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