Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: After a while...

  1. Learning to take things one day at a time...
    army_girlfriend's Avatar
    army_girlfriend is offline
    Learning to take things one day at a time...
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Los Angeles (DB is in Afghanistan)
    Posts
    61
    #1

    After a while...

    Advertisements
    ....my DB and I are now broken up....he says that he doesn't want to talk to anyone and that he doesn't want to ask anyone to wait for him while he's gone. I'm at a loss for words.

    ...a friend of mine left this for me today, and it speaks volumes. For all those, like me, who are going through this...maybe this will help.

    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
    And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
    And company doesn't mean security,
    And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
    And that presents aren't promises;
    And you begin to accept your defeats
    With your head up and your eyes open
    With the grace of a woman, and not the grief of a child,
    And you learn to build all your roads on today
    Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
    And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
    After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
    So you plant your garden and decorate your soul,
    Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
    And you learn that you really can endure...
    That you really are strong,
    And you really do have worth.
    -Unknown




    Women who make this life work deserve medals themselves....I have no fucking idea how anyone can put up with this shit sometimes. If you have a good man, I am SO happy for you...hold on to him.
  2. Senior Member
    CristinaFaye's Avatar
    CristinaFaye is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    3,250
    #2
    I love that poem. I read it years ago and I have it written down somewhere. I know you're hurting right now but try and stay positive. I went through a similar situation. Justin broke up with me right before he deployed saying he wanted to focus on the Army and couldn't do the long distance thing. It was so out of the blue and felt so wrong. I never gave up on him. I send him cards, emails, and care packages. It took three months but he finally wrote me back.
    If you are hopeful and love him don't give up. Don't put your life on hold but don't force yourself to move on either. Good luck to you and PM me anytime!
  3. JadedPrincess
    Guest
    JadedPrincess's Avatar
    Guest
    #3
    This is his first deployment. All sorts of crazy things are going through his head right now. Give him this space, but don't necessarily give up on him either.
  4. Learning to take things one day at a time...
    army_girlfriend's Avatar
    army_girlfriend is offline
    Learning to take things one day at a time...
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Los Angeles (DB is in Afghanistan)
    Posts
    61
    #4
    I was prepared for the emotional withdrawal and I think I have been really patient...and unfortunately, this is his third deployment (first with me)...so I guess I had different expectations.




    Women who make this life work deserve medals themselves....I have no fucking idea how anyone can put up with this shit sometimes. If you have a good man, I am SO happy for you...hold on to him.
  5. Senior Member
    Berkley's Avatar
    Berkley is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Pope AFB, NC
    Posts
    30,026
    Blog Entries
    2
    #5
  6. JadedPrincess
    Guest
    JadedPrincess's Avatar
    Guest
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by army_girlfriend View Post
    I was prepared for the emotional withdrawal and I think I have been really patient...and unfortunately, this is his third deployment (first with me)...so I guess I had different expectations.
    One of my coworkers, her bf wouldn't seriously commit to her until after he did a work up and she handled it ok because his wife left him while he was out one time.

    The horror stories are out there.
  7. Senior Member
    JustBreathe's Avatar
    JustBreathe is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    6,655
    #7
    I absolutely LOVE that poem. I have had a copy since I was like 10, lol. The original is just like that except at the bottom it says
    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
    And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
    And company doesn't mean security,
    And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
    And that presents aren't promises;
    And you begin to accept your defeats
    With your head up and your eyes open
    With the grace of a woman, and not the grief of a child,
    And you learn to build all your roads on today
    Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
    And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
    After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
    So you plant your garden and decorate your soul,
    Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
    And you learn that you really can endure...
    That you really are strong,
    And you really do have worth.
    And you learn
    And you learn
    With every good-bye
    You learn...


    it!!

  8. BJo
    Banned
    BJo's Avatar
    BJo is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Your mom
    Posts
    25,315
    #8
    Sweetie, I am so sorry. You know I am always here for you!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •