Need advice - Kids Coping with Deployment

codysmommy · 08-09-2007, 11:31 PM

My husband is currently deployed and is getting closer to being home. My 3 year old has been having a rough couple days. I went to put him to bed tonight and he started crying when I asked him what was wrong he told me "daddy needs to come home, I miss daddy" and I laid there with him comforting telling him all the things they will be doing when my husband got home and he went to sleep. He has been asking about his daddy everyday and asking he when he is going to be home, if daddy is mad at him. I tell him everyday that my husband will be home, show him picks and let him know that he loves and misses him. I also have a 10 month old so I do the same for both of them. Any other tips that I can do to get them though the last few weeks. This is my first deployment so its all new to me. Thank you for reading this.

define · 08-10-2007, 03:16 AM

I wish I had advice for you or some other tips. Just keep doing the same thing you've been doing and hopefully the next few weeks will fly by.

I'm going through the same thing with my daughter too, and it sucks. I hate seeing her happy one minute and sad the next, crying for her daddy.

kristyw94 · 08-10-2007, 05:41 AM

Put a calendar in sight and mark it for the day he comes home (or a few days later just in case...kids don't understand delays). Then let him mark off each day as it passes so he can see that it's getting closer to daddy being home.

Or you could put some hershey's kisses in a jar, and let your son know that when they are all gone, daddy will be home. You need one kiss for each day, and maybe a couple more just in case of delays.

Any kind of countdown your son can see will help him with this. He needs something more visual since he doesn't really have a concept of time.

codysmommy · 08-10-2007, 01:31 PM

I need to go get some hersery kisses or m&m's . Thank you

lilolita11 · 08-10-2007, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by kristyw94

Put a calendar in sight and mark it for the day he comes home (or a few days later just in case...kids don't understand delays). Then let him mark off each day as it passes so he can see that it's getting closer to daddy being home.

Or you could put some hershey's kisses in a jar, and let your son know that when they are all gone, daddy will be home. You need one kiss for each day, and maybe a couple more just in case of delays.

Any kind of countdown your son can see will help him with this. He needs something more visual since he doesn't really have a concept of time.

Keep the kids busy and their mind off of it as much as possible....even switch up bedtime routines until he gets home so that theyre focused on something else at bedtime
deployments are rough...your doing everything just right....keep reassuring them that their dad loves them and that he will be home soon....ull see that as soon as your DH gets home your kids will forget about what they said while he was gone and be happy to see their dad...its just temporary so reassurance is the key..n remind of some of the things their dad did with them when he was home and how theyll do them all again when he gets home....for young minds....deployment is unfathomable

ImNoOliveOyl · 08-10-2007, 01:42 PM

Make a paper chain and let him take off a link every day.. DD loved doing that.. she also loved coloring pictures for daddy.. I also told her about all the important things daddy was doing.. she loved hearing about all of that.

Did you ever get a copy of the Talk, Listen, Connect DVD from onesource?

codysmommy · 08-10-2007, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by ENCMacsWifey

Make a paper chain and let him take off a link every day.. DD loved doing that.. she also loved coloring pictures for daddy.. I also told her about all the important things daddy was doing.. she loved hearing about all of that.

Did you ever get a copy of the Talk, Listen, Connect DVD from onesource?

Yeah I do have that video but it doesnt do anything for him.

ImNoOliveOyl · 08-10-2007, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by codysmommy

Yeah I do have that video but it doesnt do anything for him.

hmm.. Cam loved it.. she loved watching Elmo's daddy. The next time he goes on deployment we're gonna have a world map so that she can mark where daddy is. She'll be 6 or 7 when that happens..

sailorspride · 08-10-2007, 02:28 PM

We usually make a huge paper chain and hang it around a room that we'll be in a whole bunch...like the dining room or living room. The kids and I make it together for the last 2 months of the deployment and then every night we take one link off. Children...especially when young, dont get the concept of time but they definately...almost instinctively know when something gets smaller!! At the end of the chain we hang a huge homemade sign that says Daddycomes home today!! It usually helps with the spirit. Another thing that may help next deployment is to video record your hubby reading and singing and talking and interacting with the children so they have a way to feel close to him while he is gone! I know that prob doesn't help now, but maybe next time!! Keep up with what you are doing your already doing a great job with them!

DJM <3 EJM · 08-11-2007, 06:23 PM

All I can say is:

And, your children are adorable!!!

08-09-2007, 11:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
codysmommy Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 328 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 67%	Need advice My husband is currently deployed and is getting closer to being home. My 3 year old has been having a rough couple days. I went to put him to bed tonight and he started crying when I asked him what was wrong he told me "daddy needs to come home, I miss daddy" and I laid there with him comforting telling him all the things they will be doing when my husband got home and he went to sleep. He has been asking about his daddy everyday and asking he when he is going to be home, if daddy is mad at him. I tell him everyday that my husband will be home, show him picks and let him know that he loves and misses him. I also have a 10 month old so I do the same for both of them. Any other tips that I can do to get them though the last few weeks. This is my first deployment so its all new to me. Thank you for reading this. __________________ [url=http://www.baby-gaga.com/][img]http://tickers.baby-

08-10-2007, 03:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
define Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: On a rock, in the middle of the Pacific Posts: 11,832 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 7% Longevity: 51%	I wish I had advice for you or some other tips. Just keep doing the same thing you've been doing and hopefully the next few weeks will fly by. I'm going through the same thing with my daughter too, and it sucks. I hate seeing her happy one minute and sad the next, crying for her daddy. __________________ I you Victoria!

08-10-2007, 01:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
codysmommy Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 328 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 67%	I need to go get some hersery kisses or m&m's . Thank you __________________ [url=http://www.baby-gaga.com/][img]http://tickers.baby-

08-10-2007, 01:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
ImNoOliveOyl He's my popeye, but I'mnoOliveOyl! Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 33,662 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 0% Longevity: 62%	Make a paper chain and let him take off a link every day.. DD loved doing that.. she also loved coloring pictures for daddy.. I also told her about all the important things daddy was doing.. she loved hearing about all of that. Did you ever get a copy of the Talk, Listen, Connect DVD from onesource? __________________ Well, I'm what I am and I'm what I'm not and I'm sure happy with what I’ve got I live to love and laugh alot and that’s all I need

08-10-2007, 02:28 PM	#9 (permalink)
sailorspride Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Fort Story Posts: 1,450 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 8% Longevity: 39%	We usually make a huge paper chain and hang it around a room that we'll be in a whole bunch...like the dining room or living room. The kids and I make it together for the last 2 months of the deployment and then every night we take one link off. Children...especially when young, dont get the concept of time but they definately...almost instinctively know when something gets smaller!! At the end of the chain we hang a huge homemade sign that says Daddycomes home today!! It usually helps with the spirit. Another thing that may help next deployment is to video record your hubby reading and singing and talking and interacting with the children so they have a way to feel close to him while he is gone! I know that prob doesn't help now, but maybe next time!! Keep up with what you are doing your already doing a great job with them! __________________ Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter [url=http://lilypie.com]

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08-10-2007, 05:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
kristyw94 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bedford, VA/Beaufort, SC Posts: 491 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 39%	Put a calendar in sight and mark it for the day he comes home (or a few days later just in case...kids don't understand delays). Then let him mark off each day as it passes so he can see that it's getting closer to daddy being home. Or you could put some hershey's kisses in a jar, and let your son know that when they are all gone, daddy will be home. You need one kiss for each day, and maybe a couple more just in case of delays. Any kind of countdown your son can see will help him with this. He needs something more visual since he doesn't really have a concept of time.

08-11-2007, 06:23 PM	#10 (permalink)
DJM <3 EJM Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: He is in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. I am still on Long Island. Posts: 575 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 41%	All I can say is: And, your children are adorable!!! __________________ My heart is in Hawaii.