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Thread: School performance while on deployment

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    #1

    Suspicious School performance while on deployment

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    In the short amount of time that his father has been gone, my honor roll student has dropped to barely passing.

    What. the. hell.

    I've got a conference scheduled, but wondering if anyone else has dealt with this?
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    #2
    It might be hard for him to juggle his emotions and school work. I was always a straight A student and the one time my grades slipped up my parents freaked out and made me feel even worse. I was struggling with a lot emotionally and it was distracting me from class, I was depressed and constantly felt drained so I was sleeping instead of studying. Has he been eating normally? Maybe take him to see a therapist or have him write every afternoon. For me, getting it out on paper is extremely cathartic. I would talk to him calmly, you don't want him to feel like he is being attacked or he will bury these emotions deeper. I hope you get an answer soon!
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    #3
    it's pretty normal for kid's school performance to change or get worse when there's a big event or change in their life. Talk to the teacher, and maybe a school counselor
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    Both of mine experienced the same thing during DH's last deployment. Speak with the teacher and/or school counselor right away and make sure they are aware of the situation. They may not be exhibiting the stress they are feeling to you but this is a clear sign they are under stress. If need be get some outside counseling. From my experience these things don't get better on their own.
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    I had already set up an appointment for counseling just to have that option available during deployment. I'm glad I did, now.

    He has been eating normally. I have been reminding him calmly to turn things in and to ask his teachers what he can do to bring his grades up - but it seems like any time I mention this, he immediately jumps to "why is my best not good enough for anyone?" no matter how neutral and calm I am speaking (the "what the hell" sentiment was/is my internal expression and not something I would say or convey to my child). He's definitely stressed, though he refuses to admit it. He dug an old paracord bracelet that my husband made in Iraq years ago out of my jewelry box and has been wearing it but will hardly mention his dad.

    We'll see how the school conference and counseling appointments go. Glad to see it is not just him - this is the first time his dad has deployed since he was in kindergarten and of course we didn't have this issue then.
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    #6
    My step son experienced much of the same while his dad was deployed. He also found some of his dad's old uniforms and I'd come home from work and find him all dressed up. When his dad came home he was thrilled, but then he was almost angry at him and there was a period of resentment he went through.

    Make sure to keep his teachers in the loop as well as school counselor. We did seek some outside therapy which seemed to help.

    Good luck!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by kw1214 View Post
    found some of his dad's old uniforms and I'd come home from work and find him all dressed up
    This is incredibly sweet and sad all at the same time.

    The conference with his teachers went well...it's definitely not any sort of issue with course content or comprehension. They all agreed that he seems to be far away during class and having trouble focusing. But he was given the opportunity to make up all of the classwork and homework he has not been turning in, and (at least last night and today) he seems to be wanting to get back to his usual levels. I think the fact that his entire team of teachers got together to discuss him made him realize there really is a problem with how he's been acting at school. He said he was going to apologize to each of them before he left this morning.

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