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Thread: Father's Day

  1. Regular Member
    hjane's Avatar
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    #1

    Father's Day

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    Was especially hard on my son. He 9 and plays travel baseball. His team won an end-of-season tournament that happened to be on Father's Day. Anyways, the team gets the trophy, not the individual kids. But there is always time after the team pictures to have individuals get a picture with the trophy. My son was just over the moon about winning. Then the coach says, "If any dads want to get a picture with their son and the trophy, to please feel free." My son's face dropped and his whole mood changed. I asked him if he wanted to get a solo picture with the trophy and he refused.

    It just so happened that DH called me through Skype on my phone right after the game ended. He was talking to my son and asked why he didn't want to get a picture with the trophy. My son said he was embarrassed because everyone else had their dads there and he didn't, then he grabbed at the bridge of his nose to hide his tears. Aww, it just broke my heart. After talking with his dad he said he did want a picture, but not alone and wanted me to be with him. I called the coach and he pulled over and let my son get a picture with me and the trophy. Just was a sucky situation.

    I know he's becoming a stronger person because of all of this, but it just doesn't make it easier when you have to see your kids struggle through days like these. I was a little surprised that the coach used the dad wording since the team is mainly military or ex-military parents and he knows DH is deployed, but I guess that's real life. It was Father's Day and he probably didn't think how much his wording would hurt the one kid without a dad there. I was happy he was so willing to pull over and take the picture for us though.
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    #2
    I'm so sorry. I'm glad he ended up getting a photo in the end!
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by hjane View Post
    Was especially hard on my son. He 9 and plays travel baseball. His team won an end-of-season tournament that happened to be on Father's Day. Anyways, the team gets the trophy, not the individual kids. But there is always time after the team pictures to have individuals get a picture with the trophy. My son was just over the moon about winning. Then the coach says, "If any dads want to get a picture with their son and the trophy, to please feel free." My son's face dropped and his whole mood changed. I asked him if he wanted to get a solo picture with the trophy and he refused.

    It just so happened that DH called me through Skype on my phone right after the game ended. He was talking to my son and asked why he didn't want to get a picture with the trophy. My son said he was embarrassed because everyone else had their dads there and he didn't, then he grabbed at the bridge of his nose to hide his tears. Aww, it just broke my heart. After talking with his dad he said he did want a picture, but not alone and wanted me to be with him. I called the coach and he pulled over and let my son get a picture with me and the trophy. Just was a sucky situation.

    I know he's becoming a stronger person because of all of this, but it just doesn't make it easier when you have to see your kids struggle through days like these. I was a little surprised that the coach used the dad wording since the team is mainly military or ex-military parents and he knows DH is deployed, but I guess that's real life. It was Father's Day and he probably didn't think how much his wording would hurt the one kid without a dad there. I was happy he was so willing to pull over and take the picture for us though.
    to your son
    As to the bolded, it is life - unfortunately it isn't just about the one kid who's dad isn't there, it was also about all the other kids and their dads. It can be really hard not to take everything personally, especially when it comes to our kiddos, but look at it as an opportunity to help your son grow rather than a slight against him.
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    #4
    Yeah I am glad I did push for it because he came up tonight and thanked me for standing with him. I do try to keep it in perspective that is was Father's Day. It's just been a hard season since he dad was the coach of our last team so my son was really feeling that loss yesterday. Kids are resilient though. I'm sure he'll feel better by next weekend.
  5. cuz i'm wonderful
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    #5
    This is a story from my childhood when I was real little, but maaaaybe it will help. When I was little, my dad went on a lot of business trips. It was hard on me, so my mom had a pretty brilliant idea of making a "daddy's box." When my dad would leave (sometimes over holidays) I'd put whatever I'd want to show him in the box. When he got home, we'd go through it together. It helped a lot because it felt like I was still sharing with him, just later. Maybe if you made one, he could print out a picture of that day and put it in there? And whatever he would have wanted to give to his dad. Not sure if that helps, my dad was gone way shorter periods of time. But it was good for me.
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    #6
    I mean, I know his dad has seen them, but having something to put somewhere might help.
  7. Regular Member
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    #7
    Actually that's really helpful. They only get to Skype once a week because of time zones and all that, but maybe he could take stuff out of the box and show it over Skype. Then he could still give it to his dad when he got home. Thanks!
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    #8
    Linzerfufu- I think that the idea of a "daddy box", is a great idea and resource for many parents! I plan on making something similar to this with a small group I am working with this semester, who all currently have deployed parents. I saw a similar idea, that was simply for the kids to look at whenever they were sad/ upset, however I like how you suggest actually sharing the box with the parent upon their return. I think this is an excellent way to help children feel like they are able to keep their absent parent caught up with what has occurred while they were away. Are there any particular things that any of you all think, that I could suggest to the kids I work with? Or does anyone have a suggestion for something similar. Thank you for your ideas!

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