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Thread: first deployment... kids asking questions

  1. Regular Member
    sps_love's Avatar
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    #1

    first deployment... kids asking questions

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    Hey everybody!

    This is my first deployment with DB... He is getting ready to leave in June '13, but has been gone lately for training and stuff.. My kids are starting to ask so many questions and it is so hard for me to answer them all. Their father and I separated in September of '11 and I only started dating DB in November, but he has played a HUGE role in my kids' lives since then. (Yeah, he's pretty amazing like that!) Well, now that DB has been gone and is "living at the Army", my kids have started asking why and when he is going to be home. I'm struggling, especially when my son asks, because they have already been left by their father, and now I think they are thinking that DB has left them as well.. Any advice? Anybody dealing with or have dealt with something similar? I just need to and want to say the right things to my kids. They're 4 and 6 and have a hard time understanding the time length and the whole idea of this anyways. Thanks!
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    #2
    I haven't read through the other posts so forgive me if this is a repeat. Start by getting some books that are age appropriate about deployment. Allow them to maintain an open dialogue with them (via written letters, e-mails, and phone conversations). Write a calendar with the day he leaves and two weeks after he is scheduled to come home (to allow for delays) so they can see that there is a start and end day to the process.
    Quote Originally Posted by sps_love View Post
    Hey everybody!

    This is my first deployment with DB... He is getting ready to leave in June '13, but has been gone lately for training and stuff.. My kids are starting to ask so many questions and it is so hard for me to answer them all. Their father and I separated in September of '11 and I only started dating DB in November, but he has played a HUGE role in my kids' lives since then. (Yeah, he's pretty amazing like that!) Well, now that DB has been gone and is "living at the Army", my kids have started asking why and when he is going to be home. I'm struggling, especially when my son asks, because they have already been left by their father, and now I think they are thinking that DB has left them as well.. Any advice? Anybody dealing with or have dealt with something similar? I just need to and want to say the right things to my kids. They're 4 and 6 and have a hard time understanding the time length and the whole idea of this anyways. Thanks!
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    There is a lot of good info about talking to kids about deployment on www.militaryonesource.com

    Also, there are several good books written for kids about deployment.

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