Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Do you think she'll remember him?

  1. Regular Member
    stephnicoleex3's Avatar
    stephnicoleex3 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    163
    #1

    Do you think she'll remember him?

    Advertisements
    I'm not sure if this is a "duh", 'no brainer', kind of question. Most people would think it's silly to even remotely think or question that our daughter won't remember her daddy when he returns. She's young, really young, so I'm not sure how that works. My husband left a day before her first birthday (which was this month) & he is deployed for about 5-6 months (not so long, not so bad...I know!). I'm just nervous that he will come home, and she won't recognize him, that she won't want to be held by him. Any input? If this does happen, how do we help her adjust? Or, how do I even help HIM adjust? He loves her so much, and I know he is missing her immensely right now....I don't want him to be hurt, and want him to understand that it's normal, if she is a little stand-offish at first. Help?
  2. Pour a little salt, we were never here
    [his] lobster's Avatar
    [his] lobster is offline
    Pour a little salt, we were never here
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    8,737

    #2
    I don't have behbehs but I would guess for remembering, especially if you have skype/phone time. My dog remembered DH after seven months. But also, all the 18 month olds I know are pretty exploratory. I know kids go through different stages with people, but I would think at 18 months, it would be a pretty good time to reintroduce your dh.
  3. Senior Member
    MATom's Avatar
    MATom is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Ft. Bragg
    Posts
    3,558
    #3
    DH deployed when DS2 was 14 months old and was gone for 7 months... DS2 had no problem remembering him, and when DH got home it was like he'd never left. He had a Daddy Doll that really helped, we looked at pics a lot, and we were able to Skype a few times.
  4. I was the perfect mom, until I had kids.
    *IGrow'EmXL*'s Avatar
    *IGrow'EmXL* is offline
    I was the perfect mom, until I had kids.
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Near Knoxville, TN
    Posts
    36,179
    #4
    She won't forget him, but she might be hesitant about him when he first sees her again. DH wasn't around when DS was between 7-10 Months old (don't know if it will be a bit different since your DD is older), but we skyped regularly. He knew who he was, but he was definitely timid/shy when he saw him again for the first time. Within a day or two though he was back to snuggling up to him, asking for "Dada," etc etc. Just remind yourselves to be patient and that babies don't always process things like us, if she happens to go the shy route. So even though she may recognize him and know that it's her daddy, she's still going to be more comfortable with you since you've been there every day when he hasn't, kwim?



  5. Senior Member
    define's Avatar
    define is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    On a rock, in the middle of the Pacific
    Posts
    12,613
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by *YDoIGrowPeople* View Post
    She won't forget him, but she might be hesitant about him when he first sees her again. DH wasn't around when DS was between 7-10 Months old (don't know if it will be a bit different since your DD is older), but we skyped regularly. He knew who he was, but he was definitely timid/shy when he saw him again for the first time. Within a day or two though he was back to snuggling up to him, asking for "Dada," etc etc. Just remind yourselves to be patient and that babies don't always process things like us, if she happens to go the shy route. So even though she may recognize him and know that it's her daddy, she's still going to be more comfortable with you since you've been there every day when he hasn't, kwim?

    I agree with the bolded. My daughter was still an infant when my husband deployed and was 10 months when he had R&R, and she was very hesitant during the beginning. She eventually warmed up to him but she had her moments where she would freak out if I left the room.
  6. Regular Member
    stephnicoleex3's Avatar
    stephnicoleex3 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    163
    #6
    Thank you all for the answers! I guess we will just take it as it comes. Hopefully soon he will have wifi, or at least be able to call (he hasn't or wont for this month) so she can hear his voice and/or sees his face. I'm sure even if it takes a day or two, she will remember her "da-da"!
  7. Senior Member
    RhodyMama's Avatar
    RhodyMama is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Ashaway, RI
    Posts
    12,565
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by stephnicoleex3 View Post
    Thank you all for the answers! I guess we will just take it as it comes. Hopefully soon he will have wifi, or at least be able to call (he hasn't or wont for this month) so she can hear his voice and/or sees his face. I'm sure even if it takes a day or two, she will remember her "da-da"!
    I'm worrying about the same thing. Our son is almost 18 months. DH leaves soon, and I have no idea what to expect. I know that he'll have Internet, and we'll be able to Skype, so that's a plus. But I know there will be some kind of adjustment. . Keep your head up. We've got this!
  8. verabot89
    FruitPunch.'s Avatar
    FruitPunch. is offline
    verabot89
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    16,644
    #8
    Okay this is kind of weird but I think she will definitely remember him. My dad and I stopped being in contact when I was about a year old, and I remember remembering him and being aware of him until I was about three or four when it all kind of faded away. So if there is skype and you are talking about him, and showing pictures, etc. she will most definitely remember.
    MrsJennyyy is mah wife



  9. Senior Member
    BLBnJVB3's Avatar
    BLBnJVB3 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    9,331
    Blog Entries
    1
    #9
    ODD was just shy of 11 months when DH deployed. He came home when she was around 17 months and she wanted nothing to do with him. Not sure if she remembered him but she absolutely didn't want him near her, to get her a drink, food, put her to bed, nothing. It lasted a few days and then DH couldn't take it anymore. He started making me back off and letting him do things. She wasn't too thrilled at first, but after that she warmed right up to him. She even got to be daddy's little girl who wanted him over me.

    It may take a little time but it will be just fine. Their bond will not be lost.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •