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Thread: How do I get him 'ready'

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    #1

    Help How do I get him 'ready'

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    Aidan will be around 18 months when DH leaves...how do I prepare an 18 month old for daddy to leave? He is so much daddy's boy. I'm also hoping to be a couple months preggo when he leaves. I'm trying to put on a brave face for everyone, but inside I'm crumbling. I'm scared Aidan is going to act out or regress or....I don't even know. Is there even a way to prepar him at this stage?
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    #2
    I have no clue, sweetie. Talk to him, read to him...I remember Christian had this book that was for young children who's parents were being deployed, have reminders of him around,...I know children his age understand more than they let on.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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    Shoukd I start now? Or wait till its closer? I downloaded the Sesame Street app thing for my phone, but I'm not sure that he's old enough for that. I was thinking of having N take Aidan to get a special lovey or something that he can always have with him while daddy is gone. I'm just so lost. And I can't let on to N because he's scared to leave and have Aidan not remember him when he comes back, so he has his own demons with this. It was so much easier when it was just us. And thanks for the . I miss you like crazy! I hope everyone is doing well.
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    I don't have any advice, but because I love you and Aidan both very very much


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    Quote Originally Posted by bajingo View Post
    I don't have any advice, but because I love you and Aidan both very very much
    Thanks honey! We love you very very much, and we miss you. I just replied to your other thread. Call me anytime, ok?
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    I'm really kinda starting to freak out. Aidan is such a daddy's boy. He lights up when he sees him. I know that at that age, he won't really understand the time. As in, it won't seem like a super long time to Aidan, more like daddy being at work (he works 24 hour shifts as it is). But we're planning on being pregnant before DH leaves too, so it will be a lot of changes all at once for a little guy. Maybe I'm just over analyzing, since, I'm starting to get anxious about the deployment myself.
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    I messaged you on facebook honey
    Rissa*Rawr is my Wifey as of 1/24/2012
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by RhodyMama View Post
    Shoukd I start now? Or wait till its closer? I downloaded the Sesame Street app thing for my phone, but I'm not sure that he's old enough for that. I was thinking of having N take Aidan to get a special lovey or something that he can always have with him while daddy is gone. I'm just so lost. And I can't let on to N because he's scared to leave and have Aidan not remember him when he comes back, so he has his own demons with this. It was so much easier when it was just us. And thanks for the . I miss you like crazy! I hope everyone is doing well.
    My daughter just turned two. We talked to her about it a little bit beforehand...I'm not sure she entirely understood at the time. I think it was a bit abstract at that point. I just didn't want it to come as a shock. We got the "Talk, Listen, Connect" video from OneSource and a book from the library called "Daddy Will You Miss Me?" We've got a lot of things to remind her that he's coming back, he loves her, he misses her. Lots of pics of him around too. I made a paper chain to show her when he will be home. She thinks its beautiful (lots of colors ). We take one off every night at bedtime and write her favorite part of the day. We're going to put them in an album with pics from each day. She likes to do this and talk about the things that made her happy. I think it's a great affirmation for both of us. She actually looks forward to it. Do as much communication as you can. We got a smaller version of one of her "lovies" for DH to take with him and take pictures in his various stages of travel and work. SHe also ADORES that. We also bought maps to show her where he is with stickers (oddly monkey stickers like their monkey lovies ). We have one at home and one at training, etc. She likes to explain all of it to everyone! These things give her a sense of what is happening and reminders of him.

    Quote Originally Posted by RhodyMama View Post
    I'm really kinda starting to freak out. Aidan is such a daddy's boy. He lights up when he sees him. I know that at that age, he won't really understand the time. As in, it won't seem like a super long time to Aidan, more like daddy being at work (he works 24 hour shifts as it is). But we're planning on being pregnant before DH leaves too, so it will be a lot of changes all at once for a little guy. Maybe I'm just over analyzing, since, I'm starting to get anxious about the deployment myself.
    DH works the same hours (and gets 3 days of in between). DD had REALLY figured this schedule out...She would know when he had to go to work and that he would be home when she woke up. The first day was ok because he would've been gone anyway...The second morning and third were rough, but we have a good routine on our own (like for days when he works). I assume you do too. Just keep with that. Don't let too much craziness happen. Just do what you do. As far as the pregnancy, I don't think that will have a whole lot of negative effect on it right now. He may be SUPER excited to have a little brother/sister. Let him be a part of it. Let him pick stuff out, etc. If he feels like he is in control of his world, he will be less stressed. He may have a hard time when daddy comes home. Just keep the same stuff up and he'll adjust fine.
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    #9
    Can your husband make movies for him to watch? Whether it's reading a book or just talking?

    I think Huladangelo's DH did something like that?
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by OneIllWife View Post
    My daughter just turned two. We talked to her about it a little bit beforehand...I'm not sure she entirely understood at the time. I think it was a bit abstract at that point. I just didn't want it to come as a shock. We got the "Talk, Listen, Connect" video from OneSource and a book from the library called "Daddy Will You Miss Me?" We've got a lot of things to remind her that he's coming back, he loves her, he misses her. Lots of pics of him around too. I made a paper chain to show her when he will be home. She thinks its beautiful (lots of colors ). We take one off every night at bedtime and write her favorite part of the day. We're going to put them in an album with pics from each day. She likes to do this and talk about the things that made her happy. I think it's a great affirmation for both of us. She actually looks forward to it. Do as much communication as you can. We got a smaller version of one of her "lovies" for DH to take with him and take pictures in his various stages of travel and work. SHe also ADORES that. We also bought maps to show her where he is with stickers (oddly monkey stickers like their monkey lovies ). We have one at home and one at training, etc. She likes to explain all of it to everyone! These things give her a sense of what is happening and reminders of him.



    DH works the same hours (and gets 3 days of in between). DD had REALLY figured this schedule out...She would know when he had to go to work and that he would be home when she woke up. The first day was ok because he would've been gone anyway...The second morning and third were rough, but we have a good routine on our own (like for days when he works). I assume you do too. Just keep with that. Don't let too much craziness happen. Just do what you do. As far as the pregnancy, I don't think that will have a whole lot of negative effect on it right now. He may be SUPER excited to have a little brother/sister. Let him be a part of it. Let him pick stuff out, etc. If he feels like he is in control of his world, he will be less stressed. He may have a hard time when daddy comes home. Just keep the same stuff up and he'll adjust fine.
    Thank you. This is so helpful. I was thinking the paper chain, but love the added idea of keeping them and writing on them and taking pictures. Aidan is the same with daddy's shedule. DH works 24 on 24 off (he's a civilian fire fighter on a sub base and in the Air national Guard as well). Aidan knows that if I put him to bed, daddy will get him up in the morning. If daddy puts him to bed, I will get him up. It throws him off even now if DH gets over time or has a drill weekend and is t home one morning. So I know that at least the beginning will be rough. We have a good schedule, and activities that we do, such as swim lessons. And he will be old enough for more things at the Y by the. So we plan to keep busy. I'm more worried about having a hard pregnancy again, and that aspect affecting him moreso that anything else.

    Anyway, thank you for your suggestions and sharing with me. It makes me feel more at ease
    Quote Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
    Can your husband make movies for him to watch? Whether it's reading a book or just talking?

    I think Huladangelo's DH did something like that?
    Yes, we plan on that. And we should have access to Skype as well. And Aidan has a recorded book, and we plan to get him another before daddy leaves. Thank you for the suggestions
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