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Thread: Angry toddler

  1. Waiting Around
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    #1

    Angry toddler

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    Anyone dealt with an angry folder that daddys gone? He won't talk to daddy on Skype. He also lashing out more and not now. Daddy hasn't even been gone a week and it's stressing me out already.
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    #2
    so someone will see.

  3. eas
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    #3
    I havnt but do you have any other strong male figures in your life that could maybe come and play with him sometimes when dad is away?
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    #4
    No I don't really. I don't really have a good support system here honestly. But I hadn't thought of that. I'll ask our family friends if I can make playdates for my son and her husband.
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  5. eas
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    #5
    Yea you can try playdates that are alot of fun and only have the playdates with the guys when your husband is gone so that he knows that he has something to look forward to even if dad isnt around because he might be lashing out because once dad leaves he doesnt really have anything to get excited about so he lashes out so if you give him something that he might look forward to when dad leaves then he might take the leaving a little easier...with kids its a trial and error situation you could also maybe try to figure out a reward program for him when dad leaves that he can earn stars or points or something that he can use towards fun activities and outings to get ice cream and such
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    #6
    He's not even two yet so those are concepts he just doesn't understand yet. And this is the first deployment In our three years of marriage. He's not in a very deployment happy career field.
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  7. Mom with Messy House and Happy Kids!!
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    #7
    I have, and it got better! I suggest sending your Dh some of your son's favorite books he can read, a thing of bubbles so he can blow them and be silly, does he have the program with his webcam that can change the background, add hats and other silly things to your Dh's picture? My Dh did all these things with our little man who was 16 months when he left for 13 months and they were really helpful! Don't be discouraged the time the little guys talk to Skype varies, some days my son would only say hi and blow daddy a kiss and other times he would talk and play with him for 15-20 min. I will be sending many your way and if I think of anything else I will let you know.
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    #8
    I agree with the PP... and in my experience the first part and last part of deployments are always the most stressful on kids (and therefore Mom!)... once you establish a new routine and new things for your son to focus on, the tantrums go more or less back to normal. Kids at that age are more resilient than we ever give them credit for.

    something to think about, though-- if you're stressed the kids will be too. like if you get upset that DS won't talk to DH on skype, DS will pick up on it and get more obstinate. I always find it very difficult, but sometimes just relaxing and ignoring the acting out (like not talking to your DH) will be the quickest way to make it go away. showing your son how much fun you have talking to dad might help. maybe you guys do something silly and show it to DH-- like paint your faces, or have your ds color a picture to show off. my kid always liked flipping the webcam upside down, or putting a mirror up to it, etc.
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    #9
    When Jason went to JRTC, my niece was living with us. She didn't talk to me for 2 weeks. We would come home, and she would search the house, ask me if Uncle Jason was home yet, and when I would say that he was still at work she would give me this face and that was that.

    She got over it after a couple weeks, but she was still pouty the entire month. She was 2 1/2 at this point, so I don't know if that made a difference or not.

  10. Fresh Newbie
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    #10
    In my experience with angry toddlers, I've found that giving them permission and a way to be angry often helps tremendously. Talk about your own anger and show how you cope: "I'm angry because I miss Daddy. I'm going to stomp my feet because I'm angry" and invite him to join you. Talk about their anger: "You're so angry at Daddy so you are hitting this pillow" Or draw pictures while narrating: "I'm an angry red scribble all over this paper because I didn't get what I want" and also invite him to show just how he is feeling. Allow destruction of cheap replaceable things, but let him know that they will either be gone forever or need to be replaced (time taken out of his fun, perhaps). Never shame a child for being angry even when he's angry at the person you love the most.

    Finally, apply all of this to yourself. Guilt and shame are silent killers, but so common in people whose lives aren't quite fair.

    Blessings to your little one.

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