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Thread: advice please?

  1. gypsy with a stethoscope
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    #1

    Help advice please?

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    advice please... I don't live close to base infact I live almost 2 hrs away. My daughter's classmates don't really understand military life... my daughter is normally very outgoing today she was very withdrawn and quiet... she said her and some kids were talking about the Army and she said her dad was in Iraq (my daugther considers my fiance as her dad and they are close) one little girl told her that is not your dad...my daughter said yes he is, he will be when he gets back from war... the little girl huffed and said he's not coming back! Like I said my daughter has been quiet all evening, we even went to the fair and she had fun but just wasn't herself, she didn't even eat dinner....I as an adult know to just let it roll off but she is nine (and this is her first deployment)... any advice on damage control here? Thanks
  2. i will NOT limbo in Idaho
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    #2
    I would contact her teacher, the principal, and that other little girls parents!

    That is a horrible thing to say and that little girl needs to know that it is not ok!

    Tell your daughter that the other little girl doesn't understand what is going on and that she was not being nice. Hopefully she can talk to your DF soon and he can give her confidence that he is coming home.

    I'm LeAndra

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  3. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    #3
    That girl is a reflection of her parents, its obvious (to me) that her parents don't understand the war, or the military and are reflecting that upon their daughter.

    I'm not sure what your daughter has or hasn't been told, but she isn't too young to be told what war means. That there is always a possibility of him not coming home, but its a very low probability. Reassure her that he is being as safe as possible. Let her know that not everyone understands the military or the war and people say things they don't mean or things they don't understand.

    Guide her to finding new friends that aren't so hateful. I also agree that the principal and the teacher should be called, just to inform them in case they don't know. Maybe they can have a school assembly or something that directs all students and educating them about military, war and deployments (after all never know when a child might come across such things). As far as that child's parents... I wouldn't even bother. They are misinformed people who seem to not care how their actions and words affect people (I'm assuming so of course).
  4. gypsy with a stethoscope
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    #4
    thanks I did talk to my daughter and I told her that DF (dad) is doing his best to come home to us, he has an important job that we are grateful for, that he loves us very dearly. I also told her as long as he is daddy in your heart that is all that matters. I think I will take your guys advice about talking to the principle. I know kids can be cruel and they are young and like you said impressionable, I also know unless you go through something it is hard to know how it can hurt or what it is like. It just hurts me to see her go through more crap on top of the stress already. I also DF and her talked about it when he called last. It broke my heart the statement that she made....."she has her daddy with her and you are over there, do you love me?" I know that interaction with the other child was painful but I didnt realize until that moment what kind of impact it had on her. So I have also tried to do a few "extra speacial" outings with her.
  5. i will NOT limbo in Idaho
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    #5
    ZERO TO THREE: "Over There" Activity Book

    www.daddydolls.com

    Zero to three has some really good stuff for military children <3
    I'm LeAndra

    Married to James since October 2008
    Lorelai Feb 2010
    Beckham July 2012
    I am a Christian & SAHM/W

    If you have any questions about massage therapy, breastfeeding, natural birth, Your Baby Can Read, teaching kids sign language or whatever...feel free to ask!
    PS~ Please excuse any typos for the time being...I've almost always got an arm full of baby

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