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Thread: 6 month old meeting daddy!

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    #1

    Confused 6 month old meeting daddy!

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    My DH wont meet our son until he is almost 6 months old. Has anyone experience this, was it a smooth transition for them both?
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    #2
    My husband deployed when our daughter was 4 months old. Before he left, the most time he spent with her was the month after she was born. From 1-4 months, he only saw her on weekends (and not always every weekend) because he was stationed in AZ and I'm in CA. When he left, Kenley was still pretty inactive and didn't react to much. She slept a lot still, and wasn't laughing and playing, etc. To me, she was still a newborn really. By the time he gets home, she will be 10+ months old. I know this is not the same situation as yours, but I have similar concerns about how she will react to him being home. She will have no recollection of him by that time, and I don't know what it will be like. She is now a completely different child. She crawls, and tries to walk.. she talks, and laughs and blows raspberries.. she knows "mommy" and "grandma" and "grandpa"... but she doesn't know "daddy."

    Is your son the first child for both of you? Does your husband have prior experience with babies? I'm sure he will transition just fine, and I'm sure your son will as well...

    (I know this wasn't exactly helpful to you, as I'm not in the exact situation, I just wanted to try to assure you that things will be ok. They will adjust, in their own ways, at their own pace, but it'll be ok in the end)

    However, I also have concerns as to what will happen with US (the mothers who have been raising their children, alone, while their husbands are gone. We're used to doing everything... we have schedules and certain ways we do things... and I wonder what it will be like for us to have another person thrown in the mix, trying to help, doing things differently than we might, not knowing what to do...

    I'm sorry... this probably wasn't very helpful, I more or less was trying to creep on this thread because I wanted to see what people had to say, seeing as I'm in a sort of similar situation. I hope someone with experience in this can give you some good insight and advice
    *miles mean NOTHING when you are in love, and love means EVERYTHING when you are miles apart*



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    Thank you... It helps to know I am not the only one going through this. Yes, this is our first baby. No, he hasnt had any baby experience. It just worries me more I guess that since he will miss everything from birth until 6 months that he wont have a connection with his son when he gets home or something. That breaks my heart that your husband has missed so much already. I def. think it is probably harder the older they get when their dads are gone because the older they get the more that a baby/child realizes. And yes, I worry about us having our routines and all that set when they get home, will everything just fall into place? How old will your daughter be when your husband returns?
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    Nope, but I am going to next year. This is my third and his first.

    BiggyBiggs...the Wifey that makes me go "WoW"
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    My hubby didn't meet our son until he was a month old. The baby recognized his voice because DH talked to my belly throughout the pregnancy. I do think the transition was difficult for my husband because by the time we got to him we already had a pretty solid routine, but he pulled it off like a champ. There is definitely no lack of bond between DH and DS- they are total partners in crime and they drive me bonkers together. (In a good way, most of the time ) I'm sure it will be different with a 6-month-old, but it can be done.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loving View Post
    My hubby didn't meet our son until he was a month old. The baby recognized his voice because DH talked to my belly throughout the pregnancy. I do think the transition was difficult for my husband because by the time we got to him we already had a pretty solid routine, but he pulled it off like a champ. There is definitely no lack of bond between DH and DS- they are total partners in crime and they drive me bonkers together. (In a good way, most of the time ) I'm sure it will be different with a 6-month-old, but it can be done.
    Yeah DH has talked to my belly the 2 times we have been together since we found out I was pregnant. We didnt find out until I was 4 months so the first 4 I was around him all the time, we just didnt know...but baby was too young to hear voices at that time I am so glad your experience turned out so great! I hope I am that lucky!
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    #7
    ODS didn't meet DH for the first time until he was 1 (a few days before his first birthday), we were LDL and DH was deployed when ODS was born. I was nervous but they did great. They were only together a week and then didn't see each other for another 15 mths (still LDL and DH PCS'd, he was OCONUS), together a week and then another 6 mths before DH came to see us again, we went to see him, got married, had to go back home a couple of months later and then another 4 mths till we moved to live with DH. So in total for the first 3 yrs and 4 mths of ODS's life, we spent less than 3 mths total with DH. They are best friends though.

    I think kids react to your feelings. If you are anxious and worried, they won't want to be with them.


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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Marinesgurl85 View Post
    Thank you... It helps to know I am not the only one going through this. Yes, this is our first baby. No, he hasnt had any baby experience. It just worries me more I guess that since he will miss everything from birth until 6 months that he wont have a connection with his son when he gets home or something. That breaks my heart that your husband has missed so much already. I def. think it is probably harder the older they get when their dads are gone because the older they get the more that a baby/child realizes. And yes, I worry about us having our routines and all that set when they get home, will everything just fall into place? How old will your daughter be when your husband returns?
    Yeah, I think it is actually sort of a good thing (considering the circumstances) that your son will still be so young still! His father will be around for all the big milestones, which is so important! And they will form a bond regardless of what he misses in the beginning

    My daughter will be at least 10 months old. We're just keeping our fingers crossed that DH comes home before her first birthday.

    Quote Originally Posted by SandyKay View Post
    ODS didn't meet DH for the first time until he was 1 (a few days before his first birthday), we were LDL and DH was deployed when ODS was born. I was nervous but they did great. They were only together a week and then didn't see each other for another 15 mths (still LDL and DH PCS'd, he was OCONUS), together a week and then another 6 mths before DH came to see us again, we went to see him, got married, had to go back home a couple of months later and then another 4 mths till we moved to live with DH. So in total for the first 3 yrs and 4 mths of ODS's life, we spent less than 3 mths total with DH. They are best friends though.

    I think kids react to your feelings. If you are anxious and worried, they won't want to be with them.
    Perfect example of what I said about forming a bond regardless of what is missed early on.

    And I definitely agree with your point about kids reacting to your feelings... OP, if you make the transition comfortable and easy for both, and don't worry too much about it, it will work itself out just fine!
    *miles mean NOTHING when you are in love, and love means EVERYTHING when you are miles apart*



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    #9
    Mrs.USMC- I so so hope that he makes it home before her 1st birthday! Do you think the chances are pretty good that he will be able to make it home before?
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    #10
    Show him your DH's picture often, tell him that is daddy, if you have any homevideos, play those for your son.

    Jason met my niece Eva when she was 3 months old, she's now 16 months old, but she knew exactly who he was when he came home for R&R because I would show her his picture and say 'that's Uncle Jason', and I wear a set of dog tags that she would play with, and I would tell her the same thing.

    When we went to go visit her, she was a tad bit wary because he was new to her, but the second he pulled out his dogtags, she lit up like the 4th of July and ran right to his arms. She even wanted to go home with us because she had so much fun playing with him.
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