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Thread: Dont know what to do anymore

  1. Old Newbie
    USAFwifey's Avatar
    USAFwifey is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Misawa, Japan

    Dont know what to do anymore

    Sorry if its long, I will try and keep it short. Here's the story:
    My daughter is 3 yrs old. 1st deployment:

    An active duty friend started watching her once a week for me at night while I work about 3 weeks before my hubby left. My daughter loves this lady!!
    She was also going to daycare twice a week, about 3 weeks before he left and was fine/happy.

    For 2-3 weeks after he left, she was still acting fine and normal.

    Its been a little while now and when our usaf friend comes and gets my daughter now for 3 hrs at night, she will not go to her and starts crying and seriously hanging on to me.

    Same thing is happening at daycare, this sweet lady that watches her during the day twice a week has to pry her off of me. And after I leave she clams down.

    Last night went to a spouse dinner at the club, right next door was where they (a lot of active duty) was watching all the kids (maybe around 20/more)

    Our active duty friend was actually in there helping, so I walked over to her and my daughter started freaking out cause she knew I was gonna leave.
    I had to hand her off, still crying just a little and run out.

    When I went to get her this 1st shirt was getting her a coloring page and told me that he saw her sitting in the corner by herself crying, the other kids went over to her and tried to play/talk with her..but my daughter kept crying and stayed by herself. The shirt picked her up and started talking to her.

    I dont know what to do anymore, she will not let me leave her side for nothing!! I have sat down and talked with her at least once or more everyday, letting her know mommy has to work and I will always come back to her no matter what, etc.

    Do you all think she is thinking when I leave I wont come back like daddy?
    It breaks my heart to see her like this and I really dont know what to do anymore or how to help her feel better and for her not to freak out everytime I leave for a little bit..
    This has been going on everytime I drop her off, etc for the last 3 weeks, I was hoping it would get better but it is getting worse.
    Hope this all makes sense.
    Any advice would be awesome!! I am at my wits end..Thank you!!

    Another thing: She has gotten really ruse toward me and other people, she doesnt listen to anything I say or tell her. And she is not eating at like she use to.
    Last edited by USAFwifey; 11-03-2010 at 08:18 AM. Reason: adding
  2. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
    Crystal's Avatar
    Crystal is offline
    Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    "Well, if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from."

    I would either contact a key spouse from your squadron or the A&FRC (Airman and family readiness Center)... either one of them should have a copy of the Sesame Street Video, Talk, Listen, Connect Preparing for Deployment. It's a great video that is geared to your dd's age group. The A&FRC will also have other suggestions...

    Good Luck and for you!
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
  3. I love AOII!
    Jess21's Avatar
    Jess21 is offline
    I love AOII!
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    North Carolina
    I found this online for you:


    One of the points on there that I also would stress is allowing the child time for therapeutic play activities; art activities, etc. Pay attention when she's playing as children express their feelings or misconceptions through play.

    The biggest upset to children this age is separation from a caregiver; hence the reason why your daughter has been acting this way.

    I hope this helps.
  4. Senior Member
    BrittanyLynn's Avatar
    BrittanyLynn is offline
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    Join Date
    May 2010
    Okinawa, Japan
    While sure your husband being deployed might be aggravating the issue, most kids go through this at some stage. I would look into what was suggested by pp, but remember that as long as you don't give into her when she's being rude or crying that she will grow out of it. If you're really concerned you could also talk to her pediatrician.

    Finally together in Okinawa and ready to start some new adventures together!

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