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Thread: VERY angry three year old *long*

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    VERY angry three year old *long*

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    My husband just left and our son has gone nutty.. the last deployment he was a bit younger and we hadn't moved together so he wasnt used to being with daddy except for skype..but after last deployment we moved together and hes been able to be with daddy every day (aside from lots of training/duty/ marine stuff /long hours) hes incredibly attached to his father as expected at 3 1/2 ...but since daddy left he wont stop screaming at me has gone back to telling me to shut up (thanks 14yr old brothers who think thats funny to teach their sisters child) slapping me biting me kicking me ignoring me COMPLETELY out of hand and completely against his normal behavior hes super hyper but rarely hits and NEVER bites (and we got rid of the shutup thing and my brother got a very amusing lecture from my mother so thats not common at this point either )i am completely lost as to how to handle this in the last day hes started yelling at me to go get daddy from work, that we cant use the truck because daddy needs it for work ect... so im sure he realizes daddys going to be gone for a bit and hes probably sensed some of my stress but this is crazy! if anyone has any suggestions id love to hear them..i feel bad about spanking him for hitting me when i know why hes reacting but at the same time timeout for some reason is not an option all of a sudden he just screams and attacks me im losing my mind with this! sorry so long - thanks
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    #2
    Call and get him some counseling. This will likely pass, but it sounds like he needs a little help right now.



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
  3. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Judi89 View Post
    Call and get him some counseling. This will likely pass, but it sounds like he needs a little help right now.

    I def agree that you should get him some counseling.

    And I don't believe that spanking a kid for hitting is a good punishment. I'm not entirely against spanking (I'm not trying to start a debate here either!), but have found that it's not that useful usually. To me, hitting for hitting is not teaching a very valuable lesson. It's saying "when someone makes you mad and hits you, its ok to get mad and hit them back".
    My son has always been the most affected (short term) by time outs in the corner. I make him STAND in the corner with his nose in the corner. He was getting in trouble a lot for a few weeks in preschool for awhile and taking away dvd's, games, etc, worked best for long term changes. He started to think before he acted, realizing that if he did something bad, he'd get in trouble at school and then he'd lose out on stuff at home.
    For the telling you to shut up... I started washing my son's mouth out with soap when he was 4 for saying the s word. I explained to him that adult's are allowed to swear but kid's aren't. And that having a dirty mouth means he needs to bite into soap to clean it up. I used it for swearing, talking back, rude noises, and even (the threat of it) for him refusing to brush his teeth. It was so effective, and still is. I can't even remember the last time I had to do it, because the threat of it makes him shape up instantly. I keep a bar of soap around just for that

    Good luck
  4. Fresh Newbie
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    i agree hitting for hitting is not a good lesson i was just kinda crazy and grasping i put him in "time out" and he turned around grabbed my glasses and slapped me in the face so fast i couldent do a thing the other time he bit my shoulder timeout isnt working at all when normally thats the best thing but my father has a therapist on staff so i called him and she will be calling me in a few hours to give me some advice and i may decide after talking to her if ill take him in out here and with the shut up thing i felt that just explaining to him he couldent use the word was sufficient until now...but when he bit me for the first time in over two years to the point i had to grab his ear and he had punctured and bruised me where hed bitten im thinking hes just pulling out all the stops so well see what the theripist sais and what her advice is but its looking like ill just take him to be seen out here in just the few days daddys been gone its gotten to sever to be healthy for him or me to just rely on other moms trick of daddys being gone
  5. Formerly BooBoo_Bear
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    #5
    That's really tough. I'm sorry he's having such a hard time dealing with his daddy being gone... and that you're having such a hard time dealing with him. I hope the therapist can help. In the meantime- show patience yet firmness, and lots of love, and hopefully he'll start to settle down soon. Let us know what you decide with the therapist!
  6. Feelin' fly like a Cheesestick
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    #6
    Honestly my best advice is to give him as much cuddle time as possible. WILL he cuddle? Even if that means you guys are vegging out on the TV. I know when my son is having trouble with a transition (he's 4), his behavior will go down the drain, but he often will calm down in order to cuddle with me. Even though he doesn't realize that's what he needs, it seems to help a lot for him. Now that my son is a bit older than yours, he's able to verbalize it better, but maybe it'll help your son calm down a bit and feel more secure?

    Good luck!! It's so hard when they're at the age where they don't know how to express their feelings.
    Beth, Mama to Emmalee (12), Evan (9), and Ella (4 on May 7) (I really REALLY need to update my picture!)
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    #7
    i had a child theripist web chat with him on skype and have put alot of her ideas into play hes not much happier but he hasent let go of the deployment bear and hes started actually addressing me and acting like im there =) so im sure it will get better thanks for the advice =) i know its hard for me when daddys gone so im sure its insane for a three year old hell get through it though

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