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Thread: What is it going to be like for my 2 year old?

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    #1

    What is it going to be like for my 2 year old?

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    I am really worried about how my daughter is going to react to DH leaving next month. We've been apart from him at various times for a month here 6 weeks there, and a lot of weekends for drill. The last long stretch was back in November, so its been awhile and she has grown up a lot. Plus we now have a new baby and my older daughter is getting less attention from me so she has been spending a lot of time with daddy. She asks for him a lot during the day and is overjoyed when he comes home from work.
    He has a 3 week training before he leaves for good, so we'll have a taste of what is to come, but we should still be able to see him some through that.
    I am just scared she is going to realize he isn't coming home anytime soon and what kind of reaction she might have to that -acting out, sleep issues, etc. She already responds better to DH enforcing rules and stopping bad behavior, am I going to have a truly terrible 2 year old on my hands?
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    #2
    they all react different.
    it depends how hard her emotions are. There is not a really easy way to explain it to her, like, my ex had a two year old little girl, and since he came back from deployment, she gets very upset when he even leaves the room. but then I have a friend who has a three year old that just takes it as it is, and she gets really excited when he comes home.

    I would make sure when he has cam available to have her say hi to daddy.
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    #3
    Thanks for your reply.
    I'm going to put up picture collages in both of my girls rooms, and I've got the Daddy Dolls, and I am hoping we will get to skype often enough. Ugh I am just so worried and scared of dealing of it on my own.
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    #4
    maybe have him talk to them..explain he is gonna be away for some time and that they have the dolls etc.

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    #5
    Okay, so this isn't totally the same, but maybe it will help. I don't know how your kid will react, but this was a coping mechanism my mother used with me when I was a kid and my dad would leave for business trips.

    We made a "Daddy's Box" together, and when he would leave, I would put everything I wanted to show him in it. He missed a few Halloweens, so in went the candy I wanted to give him. I'd put his mail in there, my report card, pictures I drew, and notes I would write him. I know that with deployment you'd need a pretty big box, but it helped me a lot as a kid. It was fun, and when he came home we would sit together and go through it & I would tell him why I put things in there.

    It helped. It was not exactly like he never left, but it gave me an outlet for missing him. It might not help with the parenting role issues, but it could give your daughter a way to store all those little moments she wishes she could share with her daddy.
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    #6
    It's hard to say how a child will react to such a change. DS just turned 1 when DH left for the first deployment, and honestly it was almost as if DS didn't even notice. I just kept up the same routine for the most part, we looked at pictures of DH a lot and got on Skype with him when he could. DS still remembered who he was when he came home.

    This deployment has been harder for DS. He became a big brother 4 days before he turned 3, then DH left a few weeks later. There were so many times he would just test my limits. Thankfully he loves being a big brother so I never ran into any jealousy problems with him. These days he sometimes talks to daddy on the phone, but mostly he's too interested in playing

    I just always remind him that daddy is coming home and how much he loves and misses him. It's just hard because he doesn't have the concept of time down yet, so it doesn't help if I say oh daddy will be home in a few months/weeks/days. His behavior got better as time went on, just had to keep him busy.

    My only worry is that YDS won't take to DH very well since he was only a month old when he left.

    Good luck!
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    #7
    My DH used to read our kids a bedtime story EVERY night. When he deployed back in Jan I made a bedtime story for our (then 3yo) son. Here's the link: My Daddy - Family Photo Book Our son didn't want to read it every night and I respected that but I think it helped him to voice his feelings more than just our daddy dolls (cuz we have those too) I'd read the story then talk about how we miss daddy and name things DS liked to do with daddy and I'd stress that daddy missed him too and would come home when his job was done. We had a timeline too so DS could have a visual for when daddy would come home... We made a paper chain (since he was too young to take interest in a calendar) and we tore off one link every Sat until the last month then tore off one link every morning. He gave daddy the last link the day we brough him home from deployment. Also I know it's normal for some kids to regress in some areas (like with potty training etc). With my oldest DS he started crawling into my bed at night, and I decided to let him stay cuz I knew he was lonely from daddy being gone. When he slept in his own bed he'd wake up with bad dreams, grind his teeth in his sleep etc. I tried to keep our daytime routine as consistent as possible but also remembered to have some give in some areas (like sleeping arrangements) cuz you have to find balance. You know your child better than anyone and you'll learn what works. Just remember, kids are resilient and you'll all get through this! HTH.
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    #8
    All of mine have acted completely different. My middle child didnt even seem to realize that he was gone. My oldest always had seperation anxiety, so it effected her a lot. My 2 yr old son.. Im not sure how he will react..
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    #9
    It really depends on the child DD (was 2 when DH left is 3 now) handles it fairly well, but she still misses her daddy a lot. The other night see said "I miss daddy mommy daddy come home now."

    She has a daddy doll that helps a lot and that thing goes everywhere. Digi Camouflage
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    #10
    closing old thread. please watch the dates. If you have anything to add that you think will be useful information for someone, start a new thread.


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