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Thread: Third deployment for me, first for our son

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    #1

    Third deployment for me, first for our son

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    Matt and I have been through 2 previous deployments so I know the drill and while I'm definitely not happy (he's infantry, going to Afghanistan- who would be?), I know I can deal with it. We have an almost 2 year old who is a total daddy's boy and now Matt's leaving in a month. It's a 7 month deployment and he's totally stressing out about whether or not Justin will remember him, how he can talk to him, etc. The "base" where he's going only has satellite phones, which are always terrible, and a phone center will eventually be built, but no one knows when. Anyone going through this or gone through a similar situation? One of Matt's big things is that Justin is just now starting to talk (4-5 words, rest is babble still), and he's going to miss all that. No idea what to do to make it better.
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    #2
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    Last edited by ashblaine30; 01-06-2010 at 12:00 PM.
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    #3
    He won't have a computer over there. There's no place for him to set one up, since they don't even have phones.
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    #4
    Aw I'm sorry I can offer
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    #5

    Your son....

    I've done more deployments than I can count in 17 years as a navy wife. I found that for my kids it was important to have pictures of daddy. I create a daddy book before they leave of pictures just of daddy and them. Then we read it and tell stories about daddy when they ask. The book is not a treasured momento that you put up somewhere. It's a book that they can carry with them when they need to. So whatever you make it plan on needing to make another one cause it may get lost or overloved.

    It's hard and sometimes it's harder to sit there and have to tell the stories about daddy sometimes other times it's not as bad. Take it day by day...
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    #6
    For your husband, invest in a video camera.

    Record him reading a few books for your son. Then your son can see daddy and hear his voice. If your husband will, record him singin some songs too.

    Record your son at least once a week, then your husband can see him develop through the time he is gone, even if he isn't there to experience it!

    Pictures everywhere too. We put pictures of Daddy on magnets on the fridge, doors, had framed pics every where, and I made DS a cheap, easy little book that was filled just with Dadddy pictures. DS was 18 months when DH left for basic/AIT/airborne, and DS remembered his daddy like he had never been gone!
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    #7
    Yep, we were planning on doing all that and have ordered a Flip Camcorder so he can take it with him, send it to me, and vice versa. It's going to be quite different having a kid during deployment this time. The last two were hard enough!
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    #8
    before my husband left he recorded tons of videos just 10 minutes or so long sometimes longer as if he were on a webcam (we lived at home and he on base for a long time so our son 2 at the time got used to webcam) he would ask him all the basic questions some of them were him asking where his nose, eyes, so on were then a wave at daddy go to bed or a listen to your mommy... i could play those any time clay asked about daddy and there were enough that at his age he didnt notice the repition - my husbands deployment was the same crap sat phones no internet mail was a HUGE problem ....another thing i know might sound dumb but he would ask to call daddy so we had my husband leave him a few voicemails on my phone doing the same as the videos...he still never got why daddy didnt come home at night but having all that helped alot
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    #9
    I would say invest in a video camera and learn how to format DVDs before he leaves so that you can send him videos of your son progressing so he can get excited about it with you guys.

    Before he leaves, have him record a few videos of him reading a few books for nighttime stories or something that him and your son do together daily. I also think the voicemails idea is a really good one too. I know that our almost 2-year-old daughter loves to 'talk' on the phone. There are also things you can buy called "Daddy dolls" which are stuffed animal/dolls with a picture of daddy on them so they can sleep with it and carry it around. Maybe get a toddler blanket made for your son with daddy's picture on it so he can sleep with that as well. Also, get a calendar (or 2! one for you guys and one for your DH) made with pictures of Daddy and your son and you on it. Get in the routine of crossing out each day with your son. Or you can do the paper chain that other parents have done and make a daily routine of cutting off one chain one day at a time. What 365 Days Look Like to Kids
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    #10
    Ok, first, is the post above me spam? Way weird.

    And to the OP... I don't know anything about deployments with young kids, but I do have an ex who has always popped in and out of the picture as he pleases. And though my son may go months without seeing his father, he has always remembered him. Kids remember a lot... they absorb a lot and it takes a lot to make them forget. I think your son would be ok if you showed him a picture of his daddy once a week even, so I'm sure with the Flip camcorders and as many pics as I'm sure you'll have around, you're hubby has nothing to worry about when it comes to his son forgetting who he is!

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