My baby broke my heart.

[mtaylor]

We have not really explained things to our 4 year old about daddy joining the army. We have told her that she's an Army brat and have talked about it in front of her but not to her. With 2 months left before he goes, I decided to actually start talking to her about him leaving for basic (even though she won't understand much).

I told her 2 days ago that I need her to be a big girl and start listening to me more and helping me out because when daddy leave it's just us. Then last night I sat her down and talked to her (after she didn't listen to what I was telling her to do).

I told her again, I need her to be a big girl and help mommy. You know daddy has a new job, and he really needs you to listen and help mommy so he can do his job. Then I said, "in a few months daddys new job is going to keep him away from us for a while, and while he's gone you need to listen to mommy. It's just going to be you, sissy, and mommy. I am going to need all the help I can get."

She looked me dead in the eye and instantly her eyes started to tear up..."I want my daddy back" is all she said and started to cry. Talk about breaking my heart. I dont know if I will be able to do this. What if we thought it was the right thing, but it turns out to be the wrong thing?

I explained that he wasn't gone yet, and that he'd be back shortly (went to the hospital with MIL's BF and we were at MIL's house), and after that she cheered up. What am I going to do when he's at basic and we haven't talked to him for 2 weeks and she asks for her daddy. I have done a damn good job not crying in front of her or DH...but when hes gone I don't think I'll be able to.

When I seen her eyes tear up and heard her say that...my heart shattered. She's not going to understand why daddy won't be there.

[Cav Girl]

[mtaylor]

*I know basic isn't a deployment, but I seen kids copeing and figured I'd put it here*

[navygf75]

My daughter is 3 and DH is deployed right now and she is doing ok. every once in a while mostly at night before bed she asks for daddy and tears up but other than that she knows daddy is at work making money for us. What has really helped her is i bought her a daddy doll. She sleeps with it everynight and brings it everywhere with her. Maybe look into getting ur daughter(s) one of them. (not sure how old your oldest is).

[@bby]

many hugs to you and your daughter i am sorry she is having a hard time with this

[mtaylor]

My oldest is 4 the youngest is 1.

[missmaaaine]

to you and your family. I know that some people record their DH reading a story for bedtime, so they can atleast hear their voice while they are gone. Maybe doing that and getting a 'daddy doll' (I have never heard of one before) will help your daughter, and possibly put you more at ease.

[wildfire1423]

that just broke my heart and she's not even my kid. Wow first and second I would definitely look into the daddy doll(s). Has your DH sat down with you girls, just him and them and tried to explain it to them? That might make it a little easier hearing it right from him.
I can remember being little and I was walking down the hall and I saw a picture of my dad on the wall and I just broke down crying. (My dad was in the NAVY) I still tear up over it. What I mean is you can do everything possible, but there will still be hard days. Whats important is that they know you're there for them and that daddy's going to come home and that you miss him too. And try to be understanding when they try and break the picture frame with a picture of their daddy in it

[mtaylor]

Oh boy, breaking a picture frame?

I just told him that we need to start talking to her. She's never really listened to us, so hopefully having a talk with her she'll start to behave a bit?? IDK. Probably not. LOL she is only 4...

[wildfire1423]

I didn't actually break it, but I wanted to. And that's the only time I remember freaking out I wasn't even in school I don't think.
either way !